New here, low-BMI patient thinking about getting sleeved in Mexico.

[LPNAshley 194]

No one was ganging up or bullying you. People gave informative answers. My experience is with bypass and not sleeve, but both tools are just that. Tools. They don't fix food addiction. That comes with either starting or continuing therapy. This site has wonderful people that will give you great advice! Sometimes it's not always what we want to hear.

[claramc 6]

I think you need to grow up and watch the language I don't think this site is for you. People are only trying to help you and they're not saying what you want to hear so you're getting pissed off. I hope you find what you're looking for. Good luck

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G530AZ using the BariatricPal App

[pinkpeanuts 5]

@@LPNAshley, people telling me to "grow up" and dictating how I should or should not feel is definitely bullying. At the very least, it makes me feel like garbage. I don't think all the comments were bullying. Some of them were well-intended, but I don't like having assumptions made about me. I certainly didn't come here to feel even worse about myself.

[pinkpeanuts 5]

@@claramc, you're telling me to "grow up" and you can't even tolerate seeing the f-word with three out of four of the characters censored? This is an Internet forum, not vacation bible school.

Edited August 12, 2016 by pinkpeanuts

[pinkpeanuts 5]

Seriously, I've heard these forums are hostile toward people with low BMIs but I thought maybe that wouldn't be my experience. I don't want to deal with this anymore. How do I get rid of this?

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I'm super sorry you are feeling "condescend", "bullied", "ganged up" on. Seriously.

I won't tell you if I think you should/should not have surgery, but I will tell you that the pre-op diet and the hormonal changes you'll go through post op will (most likely) cause severe mood swings, extreme sensitivity, irrational anger at times, etc. (I was a hot mess for sure!)

I say this with all sincerity. If you are THIS upset over very well intentioned posts, mine included, you will REALLY want to avoid public forums once you start the process.

It's a tough journey, for sure.

Edit to add: and I'm sure no one's reactions have anything to do with your BMI.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

(I added the smilies because the board owner recommended them. )

[pinkpeanuts 5]

Yes, I completely realize I'm thin-skinned. I'm genuinely sorry for that. As I mentioned, I've dealt with a lot of trauma. I suffer from complex PTSD and am also dealing with a slew of stresses in my life right now that are worsening it. I think I did overreact to the first couple of posts, and I apologize for that.

[pinkpeanuts 5]

But when I've already been punished enough for what I've experienced by having to live with this every day, it really doesn't feel great to be told to "grow up" or that I'm "choosing to be offended." Like, okay, great. I'll just press this button, reset my entire life, and turn my emotions off. :|

[pinkpeanuts 5]

I mean, I guess a big part of why I'm so touchy about this is because I've actually been feeling ok with my weight recently, but the only reason is because I have this surgery on the horizon. I finally feel like it's under my control and there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I usually feel a lot of frustration and sadness when I look at myself in the mirror or think about my weight. I feel like I'm doomed to a lifetime of obesity. But lately I've been feeling hopeful because this surgery is a real possibility for me.

Maybe I really wasn't looking for honest answers -- maybe I was looking to have what I want to hear parroted back to me. I didn't want to have my bubble burst, but it might be good for me to take a more realistic look at what this entails. It is a really big decision.

Edited August 12, 2016 by pinkpeanuts

[LPNAshley 194]

You won't find people here just telling you what you want to hear. And that's a good thing! For some of us, enabling has played a huge part in how we ended up needing surgery! Knowing that you're thin skinned and realizing that maybe you just wanted to hear certain things are really good things to recognize in yourself. Everyone here genuinely wants to see people be successful. Sometimes it's hard to step back and realize that everyone has a different communication style. I've almost never seen anything posted that was purely out of malice though. Stay, ask questions, look around at other forums [emoji4]

[KristenLe 5,979]

@@pinkpeanuts This is an emotional struggle for many of us - and that's all I was trying to caution you about. The brain is very involved in not only being successful with weight loss but with us being physically and emotionally safe after surgery! Try the book I suggested. Prepare for an emotional and physical journey!

Sent from my KFFOWI using the BariatricPal App

[claramc 6]

Believe me I'm No Bully and my BMI is 36 not that high. And believe me I don't go to Bible School everyone who knows me would laugh at that one. When I was young I used to curse but I believe when were grown up it's time to knock it off and start acting and speaking like ladies. Just try not to take everything to heart.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G530AZ using the BariatricPal App

[pinkpeanuts 5]

@@LPNAshley, thank you for your kind words.

@@KristenLe, it's mostly emotional for me. The pulmonary embolism was a big scare, but I am probably not in grave danger because of my weight. I see the surgery as a good opportunity to improve my quality of life/self-esteem and prevent further health problems down the line. I really do think it will be worth it, but it might help if I look at it in terms of what I need and what is best for me as opposed to what I want. I need to stay as emotionally and physically healthy as possible for my husband, family, and myself. I want to wear cute clothes, look good in pictures, and go out in shorts without feeling self-conscious. I should make the decision that best corresponds to what I need rather than what I want. I will definitely check out the book you recommended.

[pinkpeanuts 5]

@@claramc, I understand. I swear like a sailor and it's not a great habit. I don't mean to offend anyone with it.