Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

well he has definately moved on



Recommended Posts

I received a message from someone on Facebook that I didn't know, but they mentioned that my (soon to be ex) husband is involved in a new relationship. I didn't know who sent me the message and I didn't think much of it...at first. Eventually curiosity got the best of me and I did a tiny bit of looking around. For the record we have been separated for 6 months and have not started formal divorce paperwork yet.

I went to her facebook page and there are tons of pictures of the two of them, hugging, kissing, etc. Now, I hate to say negative things about other people's appearance, but...she's much larger than ever was even before surgery, and her face...well I just hope she has a nice personality. I'm sure I'm biased against her but it was really a kick in the gut. I know I shouldn't feel like this. He cheated on me, he made me feel bad about myself, he disrespected me, he ignored me, he never wanted to spend time with m, ehe put my needs last...I know I'm better off without him. But I feel so rejected and hurt. I can't help this feeling of "you dumped me for THAT?"

I just needed to get that off my chest.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I received a message from someone on Facebook that I didn't know, but they mentioned that my (soon to be ex) husband is involved in a new relationship. I didn't know who sent me the message and I didn't think much of it...at first. Eventually curiosity got the best of me and I did a tiny bit of looking around. For the record we have been separated for 6 months and have not started formal divorce paperwork yet.

I went to her facebook page and there are tons of pictures of the two of them, hugging, kissing, etc. Now, I hate to say negative things about other people's appearance, but...she's much larger than ever was even before surgery, and her face...well I just hope she has a nice personality. I'm sure I'm biased against her but it was really a kick in the gut. I know I shouldn't feel like this. He cheated on me, he made me feel bad about myself, he disrespected me, he ignored me, he never wanted to spend time with m, ehe put my needs last...I know I'm better off without him. But I feel so rejected and hurt. I can't help this feeling of "you dumped me for THAT?"

I just needed to get that off my chest.

Sophie you are going through a very difficult time right now. I have been where you are right now. You will never really know why or what attracted your husband to this other women and it really doesn't matter. What matters is you and taking the time to heal. My number one best advice i can give you is stay away from Facebook if you can't control yourself from peeking at them. This will only prolong the pain and make it harder for you to move on. Please trust me when i say that there is a great life on the otherside of divorce. It takes time to heal and grow.

Sent from my SM-N920P using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hope getting it off your chest will help you to move forward. It took a long time for me to work through my first husband leaving me. We had 5 kids under the age of 8 - and there was no infidelity on either side - I felt so betrayed.

After a time I can honestly say I hope is now wife is the love of his life as my husband is mine..... but it took quite a while for me to get to that point.

wishing you all the best in your new life........

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is it any consolation that she's gutter quality on top of everything you described? A stranger sending you a message about something that touches on your private life? Another "social media" lowlife freak and deservedly insecure and jealous.

You're hurting, yes, but you're better than that. Better than either of them individually or together. Sophie, if you calm yourself long enough to look at things as an outsider, you'll know you don't want him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't blame the messenger actually, the message was one of concern. Something like I see he is involved again are you ok. Since their name wasn't their real name I don't know who it was.

I really do appreciate the support here. I don't have many friends and it does help just to get it out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you hate saying things about others appearances, then don't. Don't take your anger out on the new girlfriend. He cheated on you, be disappointed and mad at him if you want; but she doesn't deserve your anger. Sounds like the relationship was over a long time ago, let it go and try and find a happy place in your life. Maybe this is a good thing and you can move on knowing that he is.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's totally human to be upset and annoyed and disgusted.

Eventually you'll move past those emotions and realize you're way better off...on to bigger and better!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@Sophie74656 I know it's easier said than done but - forget him! He was as bad for you as being obese! If he cheated on his wife - he'll cheat on a girlfriend! I don't think he goes after woman for their looks - he needs a doormat that he can control. Sadly, that's often obese woman who don't believe they deserve better. You are so much better off without him! I hope you truly know that!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry for your pain and can't imagine why someone would post that. remember, time wounds all HEELS!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You're hurting. For that I am sooo sorry.

It doesn't matter who did what to whom. You are hurting.

Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself time to wrap your head and heart around your new life.

It takes time---sometimes a great deal of time to mourn the loss of a marriage. Time doesn't always "heal" those wounds that cut so deeply. One can only hope to "calm" the hurt--leaving nothing in its place but a scar. It's the scars of such painful times that prove we were brave enough to give love a chance with an open heart.

Just because your spouse did not honor his vows, does not dishonor you in any way. Your integrity is intact. Integrity is what should keep your head held high, shoulders straight and your dreams of finding love again shining bright.

Until you are ready to love again, be kind to yourself. Learn to love yourself. Be your own best friend.

Life and love will circle around and scoop you up again.

I promise.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You can have my husband... He's free, no charge lol. Hopefully that made you laugh a bit.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this especially at this time. The truth is you're on a brand new road. A beautiful, healthy, thriving road & everyone can come/tag along w/ you... If he's chosen someone else that doesn't take away from your greatness it just means he wasn't able to meet you where you are & who knows maybe that's a great thing! When one door closes another opens & you may have that wonderful man you've always dreamed of.

As far as the woman... Ugh I know it stings and its normal to point out the other person flaws but please just smile, nod & move on. Keep on your track & everything will fall into place perfectly for you. #hugs&support!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

post-296831-14707098490113_thumb.jpg

This will be you!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • cryoder22

      Day 1 of pre-op liquid diet (3 weeks) and I'm having a hard time already. I feel hungry and just want to eat. I got the protein and supplements recommend by my program and having a hard time getting 1 down. My doctor / nutritionist has me on the following:
      1 protein shake (bariatric advantage chocolate) with 8 oz of fat free milk 1 snack = 1 unjury protein shake (root beer) 1 protein shake (bariatric advantage orange cream) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein bar 1 protein shake (bariatric advantace orange cream or chocolate) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein soup (chicken) 3 servings of sugar free jello and popsicles throughout the day. 64 oz of water (I have flavor packets). Hot tea and coffee with splenda has been approved as well. Does anyone recommend anything for the next 3 weeks?
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        All I can tell you is that for me, it got easier after the first week. The hunger pains got less intense and I kind of got used to it and gave up torturing myself by thinking about food. But if you can, get anything tempting out of the house and avoid being around people who are eating. I sent my kids to my parents' house for two weeks so I wouldn't have to prepare meals I couldn't eat. After surgery, the hunger was totally gone.

    • buildabetteranna

      I have my final approval from my insurance, only thing holding up things is one last x-ray needed, which I have scheduled for the fourth of next month, which is my birthday.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BetterLeah

      Woohoo! I have 7 more days till surgery, So far I am already down a total of 20lbs since I started this journey. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Well done! I'm 9 days away from surgery! Keep us updated!

    • Ladiva04

      Hello,
      I had my surgery on the 25th of June of this year. Starting off at 117 kilos.😒
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Congrats on the surgery!

    • Sandra Austin Tx

      I’m 6 days post op as of today. I had the gastric bypass 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×