Am I going crazy? What fills the hole?

nkcaump · August 27, 2007

In my mind, I've made up my mind over the past couple of days to be banded. Preferrably, as soon as possible.

My wife has been really on the fence, which, it turns out, is probably a good thing. The past couple of days, I find I've found feelings coming out that I haven't had in recent and not so recent memory. I've dealt with depression for a couple of years now, but the past couple of days, I've really hit a new low. Like I'm in purgatory, waiting on St. Peter to make a decision on me. I've finally gotten the chance to see the rest of my life, but there's a big "PLEASE STAND BY..." before I get there.

There's been quite a bit of stress in my life lately. I'm a computer technician for an understaffed school district. There are 900 computers and three of us - all trying to get everything working immediately. The stress is enormous. I find very little satisfaction in my life right now.

The only thing that gets me through the day (my 4 year old and wife notwithstanding) are my trips to the fast-food restaurants for Breakfast, lunch and sometimes even dinner.

When I'm banded, what replaces that? I realize that my depression will gradually get better, I'll have more energy, I'll feel better - but what happens when life becomes a dog-eat-dog world, and you're wearing milk-bone underwear?

Do many of you seek counseling or therapy in addition to your fills? What replaces eating when you get stressed out?

I think I'm probably going to start seeing a therapist before officially signing on the dotted line - just to see what his/her plan is for when I can no longer wallow in mysery with my best friend, Ronald McDonald.

Suggestions??:paranoid:paranoid

wanabthin · August 27, 2007

It seems to me that you've answered your own question. Or at least you are on the right path. You're right, there is much more too this than eating less. Most of us didn't get here without emotions being attached to our eating. Most doctors require a psych eval before surgery but mine was not what I would call helpful. I would recommend that you follow through on finding a counselor to talk things over with and I'm not just saying that because I am one. Also, try to find one that is familiar with emotional eating and eating disorders. A bad experience can do more harm than good. Best of luck.

GayleTX · August 27, 2007

((Hugs to you, my friend)). This is a stressful time of year for school people, isn't it. This retiree celebrated NOT having to go back this fall by eating the top off a pizza tonight.....a real happy meal for a bandster!

If it's any encouragement.....I had been on anti-depressants for 3 years when I had surgery (them along with a lot of other meds). I'm now off of them and happier than I've been in a long time. There's just something so empowering about being in control of your health and your body and your appetite......we may not be able to control our workplace or our co-workers and our bosses.....but with a LapBand we can control our appetites and our future. And that alone is enough to give us strength to begin to pull out of that black hole. When you have hope, you have strength.

When I had my Psych Eval, the therapist recommended that I see a counselor before she would release me for surgery.....and that was a valid assessment on her part. It's a life-changing surgery with lots of challenges and we sometimes need a specialist to help us find our way. Since you have so many demands at work, it would be nice to have an hour each week to just turn over your stress to someone else.

Best wishes to you....and don't let those wolves at work chew your heels off this year - just do what you can do and take care of yourself so you can begin next year as a thinner, healthier and happier person.

WASaBubbleButt · August 27, 2007

There is a difference between living life and eating your way through it. Once you can't eat your way through it anymore you are forced to stop and smell the roses. You find other things to do. The idea is to guide yourself to better addictions such as exercise. It's possible, you just have to do it.

losingjusme · August 27, 2007

what has replaced my food addiction? exercise. and just to let you know - i DID NOT MOVE before banding. i now work out 5-7 times a week.

i also like to shop but when you are dropping sizes every couple of weeks, that becomes dangerous....

find a healthy habit to form. spend more time with your wife. are there kids? have fun with the kids. get up and move, enjoy life. it may actually take you a little bit to figure out what you want to do, but that's OK too.

best of luck to you!