Post op regrets topics - not popular

[The Candidate 3,215]

When I was going through the process I made a point of seeking out both positive and negative WLS experiences. I knew going in that the end result could turn out to be the biggest mistake of my life. Or the best decision I ever made. Either way, I made my bed and I was prepared mentally and emotionally for either outcome.

I'm glad that there are people out there who are brave enough to share their negative experiences. Nothing is certain with this surgery, much like any other procedure, and it is imperative that you research both sides of the coin before you take the plunge. Purposely avoiding the possibility of complications and closing your mind to "bad news" will only hurt you more in the end. The more informed you are, the better prepared you will be.

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[dhrguru 1,238]

I've seen a few of your posts and feel badly for your complications and hope in the least that they improve. Though I see, even if they do improve - you will still carry your regret. That's totally your feeling that you can express; I think it's important others see the full gamut of emotions that WLS brings.

I don't regret my surgery-- but also don't share your perspective. I can identify- to a small degree with some of your reasons for regret. There have been times I've been in a Store- trying to figure something to order to eat- or food shopping and I've whispered to my self "being a WLS patient sucks". The planning, tracking etc can get tedious. It's Norm for me now-- but still sucks at times. I've gotten used to it and accepted it but the thought crosses my mind occasionally that it was 'easier' before. I have apathy towards food at times too-- one of the "this sucks" moments for me. Just tossing out there that, while this was the right & necessary choice for me, I kind of get your feelings.

Edited August 13, 2016 by dhrguru

[bravewings115 1]

I admire and appreciate your honesty on this post! I myself am having my fair share of complications and wish that I had heard more about people's complications before I had surgery 2 months ago. I pray that it gets better for you Hun.

[GinaCampbell 434]

I want to say that I respect your stance on your decision. I applaud you for your willingness to be open about your struggles. It is certainly true that you have a right to think and feel as you wish about your surgery. The only thing I would counter with is what do you plan to do? Your surgery has been completed. VSG cannot be reversed. You like the rest of us are stuck, so to speak, with it for the rest of our lives. It does not seem to me a good idea to live in regret everyday for the rest of your life. In other words how are you going to turn this lemon into lemonade? It is my hope that this is something you would reflect on. Take care.

Thank you!

My plan is to keep fighting to get back to where I was Healthwise pre op in the first instance. Obviously now, I will have to manage the C Diff issue and it's complications. It is a tough infection to cure. The percentages on reoccurrence are quite worrying.

Once all that is under control. I need to concentrate on slowing down the weightloss. I am still losing between 5 and 7 lbs a week and only getting in between 300 and 400 calories a day. I need to get my Vitamins, minerals, Iron and nutrient levels sorted out.

Once all that is completed, and this could take months to achieve, I then need to get back to my pre op routine. Seeing family, friends, neighbours,attending church etc.

It is heartbreaking to be isolated from your family due to illness. Now I have to worry about who I infect with C Diff. On visits, I need to be conscious about using people's loos etc.

Beyond that, I plan to develop a good relationship with a GP that has enough knowledge to help me get back to health and to get away from the bariatric system. I may have to pay privately for this care.

As I keep saying, I don't live in regret. I live in a fight for my life. I believe that I have had C Diff for nearly eight weeks now and the inflammation, blood and mucous presenting, makes me fear that this situation may become even more serious due to the neglect of the bariatric team in post op care. My GP believes the bariatric team should be dealing with me and the bariatric team wants the GP to do it.

Meanwhile, I am in trouble.

I live my life deep in my Faith. And because I do, I am told that there is a plan for my life. That plan appears to be perseverance with grace.

Ultimately, I plan to consult an NHS healthcare advocate. I am going to ask that my case be looked over to ensure that I get better care and other people don't have to go through all of this.

If your query concerns my dislike of my sleeve, I accepted the ultimate responsibility for my mistake weeks ago. We all make mistakes. I made the decision in error. There is no point in dwelling on this as it is irreversible.

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At 2 or 3 mos out, I was eating the same amount of calories and losing the same amount. I didn't have complications. I'm just saying that you're not any different in that area. My calorie rec was between 300 and 500 calories per day.

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I am sorry to hear that. My weightloss has been too rapid and is causing problems due to lack of ingestion of Protein, Vitamins, Iron and minerals.

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[GinaCampbell 434]

I've seen a few of your posts and feel badly for your complications and hope in the least that they improve. Though I see, even if they do improve - you will still carry your regret. That's totally your feeling that you can express; I think it's important others see the full gamut of emotions that WLS brings.

I don't regret my surgery-- but also don't share your perspective. I can identify- to a small degree with some of your reasons for regret. There have been times I've been in a Store- trying to figure something to order to eat- or food shopping and I've whispered to my self "being a WLS patient sucks". The planning, tracking etc can get tedious. It's Norm for me now-- but still sucks at times. I've gotten used to it and accepted it but the thought crosses my mind occasionally that it was 'easier' before. I have apathy towards food at times too-- one of the "this sucks" moments for me. Just tossing out there that, while this was the right & necessary choice for me, I kind of get your feelings.

Thank you!

I too walk around a supermarket seeking a meal that won't waste money (my freezer is full of meals that have had one bite taken out of them), will please the sleeve and will add some Protein.

I am moving house and it is hard to simply "grab some lunch" like everyone else. So I keep a banana and a bottle of Water on me all the time.

It was easier before.

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[GinaCampbell 434]

I admire and appreciate your honesty on this post! I myself am having my fair share of complications and wish that I had heard more about people's complications before I had surgery 2 months ago. I pray that it gets better for you Hun.

Thank you!

I hope you feel better soon. If you need a buddy, please let me know.

Prayers coming your way.

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[GSleeve822 394]

Boohoohoo

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[cbonet 336]

Thank you to everyone who has been open, honest and supportive.

You will never see me be anything on here but the same.

A couple things really hit home from your original post.

First is that you did a tremendous amount of research pre-op and put a lot of time and effort into making this decision. It certainly was well thought out.

The second thing that really struck a similar chord with me is your comment, "I myself am only 9 weeks post op and have had complications so I can't know what my future holds." I want to really key in on this.

I didn't really feel alive and vibrant until somewhere between my 2nd and 3rd month. Prior to that the diarrhea, rumbling stomach, weird feels overall, dropping blood pressure and baggy clothes had me feeling strange and uncertain. Then....I found my stride. I found that life was normal. I was eating hearty cuts of succulent Protein........and then I was given the go ahead to have coffee.....blessed coffee. Things began getting back to normal....a new normal that was much better than any I'd known in decades. It continues to get better each week, too.

Now....if I want, I can have the diet Dews and diet Cokes that I used to love.....and yes...I can even have them with some mixed nuts & cheese (one of my all time favorite snacks) so long as I stay within my daily calorie goals. I've yet to have the diet sodas simply because I have been without them for the better part of a year and don't miss them. I'm good with Water and coffee and an occasional diet Snapple or similar.

I ask that you trust in your pre-op homework and demonstrated diligence. You put in tremendous thought into this back then. You've been through a major series of changes since and are truly at the infant stages of your post-op living. You are only 9 weeks out.

I'll wager that in a few months you'll resist this thread with an update and I hope that it's one where you've found that things have normalized and everything is falling into place.

Hang in there and thanks for being open, supportive and honest. That's the only way to roll.

I have read several of your posts and feel that you are genuine in sharing your experiences and prospective. I am 57 had the band 7 years ago and having the sleeve on 9/13. I am second guessing myself everyday. Always asking myself why do I need to go to such an extreme. I've lost and gained my whole life. I have always been obese. I haven't told my family or friends yet. Today I told someone I know who takes care of my mother. She's about my age and lost 70 pounds.,5 years ago. Has gained some back. Her response floored me. She said don't do that, you know what you have to do. Stop eating, excercise just do it.

I've done that for 57 years.now I am again second guessing, fearing the whole process and permanence.

I read some interesting comments today and I wanted to make something really clear.

Out of all these people around the globe that are on this website, there are going to be some of us that have found post op, that this surgery was the wrong decision.

If you want this website to be honest and truthful, a source of good solid information for people considering surgery and a source of support for people post op, then everyone's experiences should be welcome.

The reason's I think this surgery was wrong for me has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with my post op complications!

And as for comments about people who regret their surgeries and have complications because:

• "houses were dirty"

• "they didn't follow instructions"

• "they haven't seen the great results yet"

• "they are just negative people and negative people are more vocal

So, just let me tell you this, some of us simply made a mistake.

We thought this was a good plan, we took advice, did our research, attended the seminars and weigh ins (in my case, two years attending).

We met our surgeons, we discussed our pre existing conditions, we spoke to our family and friends.

I myself have a counsellor, did CBT counselling for the entire two years pre op and am deemed emotionally and mentally sound. (just as an aside, my NHS CBT counsellor did not agree with this surgery).

I checked with my pain mgt team about the efficacy of my medications post op.

And it was still a mistake!

And so what?

It happens. And people like me should be able to explain these things without others trying to negate our admission of this mistake by offering excuses as to why we are unhappy with our decision.

I could have floated onto a cloud, had magical unicorns lick away my stomach, and woke up in paradise fully healed, sipping a cocktail in the sun and I would still tell you that this was a mistake for ME. And for many of my friends.

It doesn't matter how many years post op I get, I will consider this a mistake.

My house is not dirty, I followed instructions to the letter, I consider my bariatric discharge booklet my life guideline and I never variate.

I keep in touch with anyone and everyone in my medical care stream that might be helpful.

And complications happened. And yes, to many of us in our bariatric system. But again, it was not the complications that disturb us.

We all have different reasons for regretting it.

Most of us feel that we were misinformed, which doesn't help. My neighbour regrets her bypass because of her now permanent diarrhea and no improvement in her diabetes. She tells me that she has to think about food most of the day just to keep herself fed (choosing the right foods so as not to vomit), and she could have simply dieted harder if she had known she would have to think of food all day. She is three years post op and she still struggles with dehydration. Her hair never grew back after the initial drop out.

I myself am only 9 weeks post op and have had complications so I can't know what my future holds.

I miss eating quickly and simply in a way that doesn't have to be well thought out.

I want to be able to eat a full salad, maybe even with dressings, without worrying about which component might not agree with me.

I want to be able to eat any kind of meat I want cooked how I want in the quantity I want.

I want to drink beverages with my meals.

I miss a morning coffee or afternoon tea. I miss ice tea. (I know other people can drink it but I can't now).

I don't want to have to plan my food day meticulously or be different from others around me eating.

I want my medications to work again in the way they did pre op to control my fibromyalgia symptoms.

And I have definitely seen weightloss results. As I was lying there starving to death for seven weeks, I have lost all but 20lbs of my expected and required excess weight to satisfy my healthcare team. ( I am still only getting around 500 cals a day in, but have constant diarrhea so who knows how much stays in).

I now look "normal" except for the grey pallor in my skin and the nappy I now have to wear because of fecal incontinence (my IBS-d was totally controlled before surgery).

I am six dress sizes smaller but can only leave my house if I don't eat anything and wear adult protection in case of Water causing an "accident". Or in case I become faint from lack of food and fall.

So I do actually feel that had I read a forum entry like this, I might have thought twice.

And that's a good thing. If people are scared, that's okay. Let them hear more than just "don't worry, I was fine, you will be too!" Because maybe they won't!

So this is not about complications, it's about people.

One size does not fit all. Some of us should have simply accepted our weight, or worked harder to diet it off. Had I taken in only 300 to 500 calories a day for 9 weeks pre op, I would have lost all this weight anyway.

If you are happy, well done! If you are dead set on going ahead, ignore this. If you are a high BMI person (think 600lb life), God bless you, this may save your life, if you are a food addict, I feel your pain.

You will still have to diet post op! You will still have to exercise.

If you are undecided, then simply take a breath, think about it, really examine your food issues. Could you do more to lose weight? Could you move a bit more and eat a bit less?

Anyway, I am where I am and I plan to make the best of what I have left. And I intend to keep making sure that pre op people have a good think and post op people like me have someone they can talk to.

Thanks to everyone who is supporting me.

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I am so sorry that you are having all of those complications, but I have to say I LOVE everything you had to say and the way that you said it. I recently voiced my regrets about having this surgery and got blasted by the sleeve fans on this site. It is not a popular opinion, but someone should voice it. Thank you!

I've been following your story and I hate that you are so miserable. My wish for you is that you find relief from the discomfort and inconveniences (understatement!!) you are dealing with. I know you did a LOT of research and feel that you were completely underinformed. In your initial post, you stated :

"I miss eating quickly and simply in a way that doesn't have to be well thought out.

I want to be able to eat a full salad, maybe even with dressings, without worrying about which component might not agree with me.

I want to be able to eat any kind of meat I want cooked how I want in the quantity I want.

I want to drink beverages with my meals.

I miss a morning coffee or afternoon tea. I miss ice tea. (I know other people can drink it but I can't now).

I don't want to have to plan my food day meticulously or be different from others around me eating."

Were you not told that all of these things would change or do you now just wish you could go back? These above changes are standard fare for almost all weight loss surgeries , especially so soon out. I'm over three years out and all of the above except coffee and tea still applies, but I knew that going in. (I will say my new meal planning now feels normal so that's a plus!!)

As for the dirty house comments and other such nonsense? Report that crap!! That's more than ridiculous! No one should say crap like that to you.

I wish you well, and more importanyly, I wish you peace.

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[Crulezim 10]

Hello Gina -- I am so sorry that you regret your surgery so much. I am in no way trying to undervalue that, so please don't take this that way. I just wanted to let you know that I am now 16 months out from having the sleeve, and I had terrible diarrhea for months afterwards, but no longer do. I can also now eat pretty much whatever I feel like, so long as it's a small portion. I've lost 125 lbs. I do hope things improve for you.

[Sleeve it to Beaver 187]

Is the surgery and what comes after a greater risk than not having it? Don't know. We can hope this tool is what helps us move forward.

I wish you good luck and hope your complications and regret vanish into thin air as the weeks go on.

HW: 281.5 on 10.30.15

SW: 245.7 on 6.1.16

CW: 204.8 on 8.17.16

[mohairbears 37]

I'm 3 week post op. I can sympathise with you, and have had a few days where I've cried this is so hard, I wish I could eat more, gulp my food down, drink more, not feel occasionally sick, not suffer loose bowels, not have to plan, and not be in pain. But to be realistic I beat these negative thoughts back thinking of why I started this journey. Comparing it to all the years I've been overweight and miserably hot in summer . Not being able to wear or fit into clothes I like. I want a good self image. I want to be in control of my eating habits. I want to be healthy. This is not going to be an easy journey for anyone, we are all on the same path, but then we will all face our own individual demons physical and emotional. I know I want to succeed, I want to reach my goal. I know it will become easier with time and patience.

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[GinaCampbell 434]

Hello Gina -- I am so sorry that you regret your surgery so much. I am in no way trying to undervalue that, so please don't take this that way. I just wanted to let you know that I am now 16 months out from having the sleeve, and I had terrible diarrhea for months afterwards, but no longer do. I can also now eat pretty much whatever I feel like, so long as it's a small portion. I've lost 125 lbs. I do hope things improve for you.

Thank you! I contracted clostridium difficile and am on heavy antibiotics. Obviously, both cause diarrhea.

I am getting less calories than ever and now even my go to Soup option leaves me feeling as if food is sort of bubbling up and hanging around at the back of my throat, behind my chest.

This is new!

Thanks for your comments, I appreciate it,

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[GinaCampbell 434]

I'm 3 week post op. I can sympathise with you, and have had a few days where I've cried this is so hard, I wish I could eat more, gulp my food down, drink more, not feel occasionally sick, not suffer loose bowels, not have to plan, and not be in pain. But to be realistic I beat these negative thoughts back thinking of why I started this journey. Comparing it to all the years I've been overweight and miserably hot in summer . Not being able to wear or fit into clothes I like. I want a good self image. I want to be in control of my eating habits. I want to be healthy. This is not going to be an easy journey for anyone, we are all on the same path, but then we will all face our own individual demons physical and emotional. I know I want to succeed, I want to reach my goal. I know it will become easier with time and patience.

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I really do wish you all the best, as I do everyone. I know that this surgery is really great for many people all over the globe.

I feel quite special as I appear to be the only sleeve patient on the planet who has decided that this surgery was a mistake!

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[TWW200 30]

Gina, go back & remember what you were experiencing before the surgery. It had to have been bad enuff for u to consider having it done. Like most of us, u had to have been at the point where u didn't know what else to do, having tried so many ways to lose weight & get healthy & none of them working over the long haul.

This wls was the last hope for many of us. Yes we gave up certain things to get healthier. It's all in how u look at things. We forget how bad things used to be...time softens things...like people in abusive relationships that go back to their spouses because "maybe it wasn't that bad". We humans forget what has gotten us to do certain things out of what we deemed necessary at the time. We coat it with the haze of forgetfulness & suddenly it wasn't that bad back then. Be true to yourself & don't knock the past & the decisions you made. You made that decision to help yourself. You made it with all the information available to you at that time.

Ok....so maybe it was the wrong decision for you but you would never have known that unless you lived it. Everyone has said they wished they hadn't done something & if only someone had told them not to do it or had told them the real truth....really? Well geez, if we listen to other people, our world would never advance....how many tries did it get to get the wheel right, or that plane off the ground, or man to the moon,, or medications to figure out what worked for your depression but not for your friends? So many things in life work for some & not for others. Fortunately or unfortunately we all have to experience something for ourselves in order to get the lesson. That's how we learn. How many children listen to their parents who say don't do that or this terrible thing will happen. Or how many adults hear things from others but think, hey, that's their experience? We think we know better, so I don't think someone telling you what you had wished u had heard would have stopped you because at THAT point in time, YOU needed to do something this drastic.

I am sorry your wls made it worse for u, but it has made it better for others. You did what u did out of hope & as I said earlier the past gets foggy when we look back....so quit beating yourself up about what u did & figure out how to go on NOW. Nothing is 100%,...it's up to the person going thru whatever it is they are going thru, to get the help they can & try to make things better for themselves. I have problems, we all do...but you know what??? Having lost 70 lbs I can move more, have more energy, do more, enjoy life more. I have issues with dumping, some foods not agreeing with me. I have issues with not being able to eat a meal as I once did or enjoy it...but that's all transitory to me....because the truth is, the past me made the best decision it could for the me now & no one or no thing would have changed my mind back then because I was at the end of my rope with knee pain, high blood pressure, tiredness, & so many things including shame at going out & doing things I now can do, that I couldn't before because of my weight. It won't work for everyone...just like certain medications will work for one but not another...just like one (wo)mans bottom for an addiction will not be another (wo)mans bottom....so although I feel for you & what u r going thru, You need to stop beating on what happened....there are no guarantees in life with ANYTHING......just do the best you can....like the rest of us.

There HAS to be something the doctor can do to help u so that u don't have to wear a diaper to go out...just keep fighting for the answers. Only when u give up hope, is when u won't find those answers.

I pray you forgive yourself & that these feelings will change & u get better soon. You deserve the best in life, like everyone else in this world & I hope you get there quickly so that your suffering ends.

BRAVO!

[GinaCampbell 434]

Gina, go back & remember what you were experiencing before the surgery. It had to have been bad enuff for u to consider having it done. Like most of us, u had to have been at the point where u didn't know what else to do, having tried so many ways to lose weight & get healthy & none of them working over the long haul.

This wls was the last hope for many of us. Yes we gave up certain things to get healthier. It's all in how u look at things. We forget how bad things used to be...time softens things...like people in abusive relationships that go back to their spouses because "maybe it wasn't that bad". We humans forget what has gotten us to do certain things out of what we deemed necessary at the time. We coat it with the haze of forgetfulness & suddenly it wasn't that bad back then. Be true to yourself & don't knock the past & the decisions you made. You made that decision to help yourself. You made it with all the information available to you at that time.

Ok....so maybe it was the wrong decision for you but you would never have known that unless you lived it. Everyone has said they wished they hadn't done something & if only someone had told them not to do it or had told them the real truth....really? Well geez, if we listen to other people, our world would never advance....how many tries did it get to get the wheel right, or that plane off the ground, or man to the moon,, or medications to figure out what worked for your depression but not for your friends? So many things in life work for some & not for others. Fortunately or unfortunately we all have to experience something for ourselves in order to get the lesson. That's how we learn. How many children listen to their parents who say don't do that or this terrible thing will happen. Or how many adults hear things from others but think, hey, that's their experience? We think we know better, so I don't think someone telling you what you had wished u had heard would have stopped you because at THAT point in time, YOU needed to do something this drastic.

I am sorry your wls made it worse for u, but it has made it better for others. You did what u did out of hope & as I said earlier the past gets foggy when we look back....so quit beating yourself up about what u did & figure out how to go on NOW. Nothing is 100%,...it's up to the person going thru whatever it is they are going thru, to get the help they can & try to make things better for themselves. I have problems, we all do...but you know what??? Having lost 70 lbs I can move more, have more energy, do more, enjoy life more. I have issues with dumping, some foods not agreeing with me. I have issues with not being able to eat a meal as I once did or enjoy it...but that's all transitory to me....because the truth is, the past me made the best decision it could for the me now & no one or no thing would have changed my mind back then because I was at the end of my rope with knee pain, high blood pressure, tiredness, & so many things including shame at going out & doing things I now can do, that I couldn't before because of my weight. It won't work for everyone...just like certain medications will work for one but not another...just like one (wo)mans bottom for an addiction will not be another (wo)mans bottom....so although I feel for you & what u r going thru, You need to stop beating on what happened....there are no guarantees in life with ANYTHING......just do the best you can....like the rest of us.

There HAS to be something the doctor can do to help u so that u don't have to wear a diaper to go out...just keep fighting for the answers. Only when u give up hope, is when u won't find those answers.

I pray you forgive yourself & that these feelings will change & u get better soon. You deserve the best in life, like everyone else in this world & I hope you get there quickly so that your suffering ends.

BRAVO!

I won't bore everyone with repeats of previous posts as people here love a reason to argue and it will start drama.

I reply when I can because I believe it is polite and respectful. If someone takes the time to comment, I was raised to reply and be nice.

I am American, and have been living in the UK for over 30 years now. I understand the high emotions, obesity problems and excess that the massive population there has. I personally didn't have a weight problem until I became disabled with diagnosed illnesses that meant that I was bedbound.

So I have not had a long term weight issue, or food issue etc. I was not desperate nor incapable of losing weight either. The medications piled on lbs on too of needing to sleep 12 hours a day, not moving etc.

I didn't have a myriad of obesity related diseases.

I just got fat from not moving and not being well enough to shop, cook and eat sensibly.

I was advised by consultants to have this surgery. I was told to take my Lyrica and accept my fate. And I did.

My health condition has been dramatically worsened by this surgery. An impact that may take a fecal transplant, and months in a hospital hours away from my home to recover from. If I can fight hard enough for a referral.

My colon appears to have damage (pseudomembranous colitis) because of the C Diff infection. This could lead to a colostomy.

Being thinner is great, being unhealthy is not. I also appear to have developed a stricture but am not allowed in a clinical public setting until this course of antibiotics has finished.

I am not beating myself up. I made a decision. It was mine to make. If the best surgeons here were wrong, why should I get upset with myself for being mistaken?

Because I was so ill, I had to detox from diet drinks, medications, carbohydrates, caffeine, gluten, wheat, dairy etc. That is what can and will help me eventually.

I have nothing to forgive myself for.

Try to see this intellectually, without emotional words like forgiveness, beating myself up, or romanticising the issue.

For some people, this surgery is a life saver. For me, it has been life threatening. I don't have the strength and immunity to fight off this C Diff. It kills thousands of people all over the world.

And right now, I have no medical support to treat it. Just two weeks antibiotics and isolation. And I am moving house.

Thank you for applauding that old post, but you don't have a clue!

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