Post op regrets topics - not popular

[GinaCampbell 434]

No, my personal goal is 125. The weight my bariatric team expected me to lose is 60% of my excess weight at 31st May.

I weighed 266 lbs when I entered the program. I weighed 225 lbs on the day of surgery. I now weigh around 150 which more than satisfies their requirements and leaves me 25lbs from my ultimate goal weight.

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[LipstickLady 25,682]

No, my personal goal is 125. The weight my bariatric team expected me to lose is 60% of my excess weight at 31st May.

I weighed 266 lbs when I entered the program. I weighed 225 lbs on the day of surgery. I now weigh around 150 which more than satisfies their requirements and leaves me 25lbs from my ultimate goal weight.

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You lost 75 pounds in 9 weeks? That's alarming! We were definitely on the same path as far as start weight/surgery weight/current weight. It just took me 9 months instead if 9 weeks to get there!

[GinaCampbell 434]

I have been very, very ill. I was averaging 100 cals a day for 7 weeks, now up to around 350 to 500 cals depending. With constant diarrhea, I do lose alot of those calories. I was losing 10 to 15 lbs a week, now it's down to between 5 to 7 lbs a week.

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[LipstickLady 25,682]

I'm curious what the BMI requirements are on your side of the world. Here in the US, it's 40 for most insurance companies. At 225 and 5.2, you still exceeded that by a bit.

My insurance company went by initial weight at first appointment, not immediately pre-op, thankfully, because I was close to the line, too.

Wow! Ten to fifteen pounds a week. Your doctors didn't yank you back into the hospital immediately? Shocking. I know you're against lawsuits, but you should consider it for the sake of people using that particular team after you. They definitely need to be looked at closely.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I read some interesting comments today and I wanted to make something really clear.

Out of all these people around the globe that are on this website, there are going to be some of us that have found post op, that this surgery was the wrong decision.

If you want this website to be honest and truthful, a source of good solid information for people considering surgery and a source of support for people post op, then everyone's experiences should be welcome.

The reason's I think this surgery was wrong for me has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with my post op complications!

And as for comments about people who regret their surgeries and have complications because:

• "houses were dirty"

• "they didn't follow instructions"

• "they haven't seen the great results yet"

• "they are just negative people and negative people are more vocal

So, just let me tell you this, some of us simply made a mistake.

We thought this was a good plan, we took advice, did our research, attended the seminars and weigh ins (in my case, two years attending).

We met our surgeons, we discussed our pre existing conditions, we spoke to our family and friends.

I myself have a counsellor, did CBT counselling for the entire two years pre op and am deemed emotionally and mentally sound. (just as an aside, my NHS CBT counsellor did not agree with this surgery).

I checked with my pain mgt team about the efficacy of my medications post op.

And it was still a mistake!

And so what?

It happens. And people like me should be able to explain these things without others trying to negate our admission of this mistake by offering excuses as to why we are unhappy with our decision.

I could have floated onto a cloud, had magical unicorns lick away my stomach, and woke up in paradise fully healed, sipping a cocktail in the sun and I would still tell you that this was a mistake for ME. And for many of my friends.

It doesn't matter how many years post op I get, I will consider this a mistake.

My house is not dirty, I followed instructions to the letter, I consider my bariatric discharge booklet my life guideline and I never variate.

I keep in touch with anyone and everyone in my medical care stream that might be helpful.

And complications happened. And yes, to many of us in our bariatric system. But again, it was not the complications that disturb us.

We all have different reasons for regretting it.

Most of us feel that we were misinformed, which doesn't help. My neighbour regrets her bypass because of her now permanent diarrhea and no improvement in her diabetes. She tells me that she has to think about food most of the day just to keep herself fed (choosing the right foods so as not to vomit), and she could have simply dieted harder if she had known she would have to think of food all day. She is three years post op and she still struggles with dehydration. Her hair never grew back after the initial drop out.

I myself am only 9 weeks post op and have had complications so I can't know what my future holds.

I miss eating quickly and simply in a way that doesn't have to be well thought out.

I want to be able to eat a full salad, maybe even with dressings, without worrying about which component might not agree with me.

I want to be able to eat any kind of meat I want cooked how I want in the quantity I want.

I want to drink beverages with my meals.

I miss a morning coffee or afternoon tea. I miss ice tea. (I know other people can drink it but I can't now).

I don't want to have to plan my food day meticulously or be different from others around me eating.

I want my medications to work again in the way they did pre op to control my fibromyalgia symptoms.

And I have definitely seen weightloss results. As I was lying there starving to death for seven weeks, I have lost all but 20lbs of my expected and required excess weight to satisfy my healthcare team. ( I am still only getting around 500 cals a day in, but have constant diarrhea so who knows how much stays in).

I now look "normal" except for the grey pallor in my skin and the nappy I now have to wear because of fecal incontinence (my IBS-d was totally controlled before surgery).

I am six dress sizes smaller but can only leave my house if I don't eat anything and wear adult protection in case of Water causing an "accident". Or in case I become faint from lack of food and fall.

So I do actually feel that had I read a forum entry like this, I might have thought twice.

And that's a good thing. If people are scared, that's okay. Let them hear more than just "don't worry, I was fine, you will be too!" Because maybe they won't!

So this is not about complications, it's about people.

One size does not fit all. Some of us should have simply accepted our weight, or worked harder to diet it off. Had I taken in only 300 to 500 calories a day for 9 weeks pre op, I would have lost all this weight anyway.

If you are happy, well done! If you are dead set on going ahead, ignore this. If you are a high BMI person (think 600lb life), God bless you, this may save your life, if you are a food addict, I feel your pain.

You will still have to diet post op! You will still have to exercise.

If you are undecided, then simply take a breath, think about it, really examine your food issues. Could you do more to lose weight? Could you move a bit more and eat a bit less?

Anyway, I am where I am and I plan to make the best of what I have left. And I intend to keep making sure that pre op people have a good think and post op people like me have someone they can talk to.

Thanks to everyone who is supporting me.

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I have been following your difficulties and challenges with concern and certainly understand where you are coming from in this post.

I truly hope that in a year's time I will be able to read a post from you where you have fully recovered from your complications and have been able to enjoy some success.

[GinaCampbell 434]

I will definitely recover from the abscess, wounds and my stomach stitches will heal. I have already lost all but 25lbs of the weight that I wanted to lose.

What will success look like?

I now have a house move coming up that I have had to put off because of all the complications etc. Quite frankly, I have two choices during this stressful time, wear adult diapers and deal with fecal incontinence during the move or stop taking in anything but Water.

I am delaying the colonoscopy now as well as any discussions about my gallbladder.

Life is happening and I have been out of it for three months now.

Can't lift boxes or shift things so the Lord only knows how I will do this.

All I can do is pray these days.

Thanks for your support!

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[GinaCampbell 434]

I'm curious what the BMI requirements are on your side of the world. Here in the US, it's 40 for most insurance companies. At 225 and 5.2, you still exceeded that by a bit.

My insurance company went by initial weight at first appointment, not immediately pre-op, thankfully, because I was close to the line, too.

Wow! Ten to fifteen pounds a week. Your doctors didn't yank you back into the hospital immediately? Shocking. I know you're against lawsuits, but you should consider it for the sake of people using that particular team after you. They definitely need to be looked at closely.

My initial weight nearly three years ago was the BMI they registered.

When I queried the weight loss, I was told that "I had surplus".

I went weeks with no nutrition at all. They did give me saline with glucose once while in hospital.

They only weighed me in once! Lol And whenever I go in, no one mentions weightloss.

The guy with the tracheotomy is much worse off.

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[Alex Brecher 10,512]

@@GinaCampbell,

Thanks for your post. I think it is important for everyone who is considering weight loss surgery to see all sides of the issue so they can make the best decision for themselves.

I am sorry you feel that your surgery was a mistake. I can definitely sympathize with your reasons, such as missing coffee, or wanting to eat without worrying about its effects. And worrying about fainting when leaving the house sounds awfully scary.

You provide a great cautionary tale. The reasons you list for regretting the surgery are not uncommon effects of the surgery, and I’m sure many of them were not a surprise to you. Especially since you did your pre-op research, I am sure you knew you wouldn’t be able to eat a full salad 9 weeks post-op, or eat as much meat (or really anything) as you wanted, or drink Water with meals.

I think it is really hard sometimes to translate what we read and know in our minds to being able to understand how hard it will be in real life. Thanks for pointing it out.

I am glad you are choosing to look forward and move ahead as best you can. I do hope you eventually come to change your mind and feel that surgery was a good move for you, but if not, I still look forward to seeing you make the most of it. Thanks for sharing your story and thoughts.

[More than this 116]

Ditto what Alex said....Gina omg....that's a ridiculous amount of weight. What I'd your doctor doing to try & help you? The guy with T the tracheotomy? What kind of a hospital is this? Sounds horrible that so many people are worse off than when they went in.

You are absolutely correct though....it's not easy to lose weight & even harder to take it off.

I wish you well...I pray you find a remedy or some good doctors out there that can help you.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

You will still have to diet post op! You will still have to exercise.

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I am very sorry you have had so many issues. I do think that it is important that all perspectives be shown so people can learn the good and the bad. When I did my research I knew the worst can scenarios and I decided I would rather die fast, rather than dying slowly like I was being super morbidly obese.

At a year out and still losing, I eat whatever I want. What I want has really changed, and even when I do eat off plan, it is a one off and go right back to how I normally eat. I'm not on a diet. I have a different way of eating. People who think of this as a "diet" are going to make themselves miserable. A new or better way of eating is a better way to think about it. I don't even eat like a bariatric patient, I eat like a normal health conscious person. Early on, yes there is a specific diet you have to follow to heal properly and safely, but this isn't a life where you follow a diet for the rest of your life. If people follow the proper steps post-op, don't skip steps and don't think they can just eat "normally" in small portions, you learn to eat properly, and it because natural instead of a diet.

I don't "exercise" in the sense of what people consider exercise. I am infinitely more active. I walk a ton. I don't go to a gym. I do yoga some of the time. I lift weights at home. When it cools off I will be starting crossfit but that is to get stronger not to lose weight. People can lose weight with almost no exercise if they can control their food. Honestly it is easier and faster to lose weight without exercise because you don't have as many calorie deficit concerns and you aren't over stimulating your appetite (if you have one) with exercise.

I think anyone that had all the issues you had early on would have a negative perspective of surgery. I thought previously by your posts you were further out from surgery. I think once you are healed, at around the 6 month mark, you might have a different opinion. I hope so, and good luck.

[GinaCampbell 434]

Thank you all for your kind wishes. Of course I new that I would be healing and therefore restricted at 9 weeks (now 10). But if you read these forums, some people are eating quite alot at three months out. My nutritionist said that I would be "eating normally at six weeks out, just less". No mention of problem foods, intolerances etc. Upon discharge after surgery, then the booklet is issued to me discussing the food stages in detail and that "meat and lettuce" might be problem foods.

I take your point that maybe a year from now, I might be eating better. Or I might not.

Again, I will never, ever have a different opinion. 6 months, 6 years. Never.

This was wrong for me. I want to be free to choose how, when, where I eat and drink. I made a mistake, I made a bad decision.

I am stuck with this forever now and that makes me sad but it is done.

Just trying to live with it now.

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[justhere4theshow 462]

I am curious as to how you know how you will feel 6 years from now? You feel how you want to feel, and I am sorry that you feel that you must live your life without hope. You create the future that you want to create, but life is not absolute. No one "alwayses" or "nevers". I don't intend to discount your feelings or take anything away from your experience, but I was once a pessimistic person myself. I chose at some point to change my outlook to preserve my sanity. No one knows what the future holds, and your situation has just as much of a chance to improve as it does to not improve. I think you are doing yourself an extreme injustice by making up your mind that the rest of your life is going to be miserable because you don't want to admit that things can get better just as easily as they can get worse. You are sure to manifest what you believe to be your reality. This is just another opinion and is in no way meant to disrespect your feelings, but I am sad for you that you are making up your mind to be miserable permanently. I sincerely hope things get better for you, but if you don't want or believe it to be possible, I can guarantee it won't. I wish you the best, even if you don't wish that for yourself.

[GinaCampbell 434]

I am curious as to how you know how you will feel 6 years from now? You feel how you want to feel, and I am sorry that you feel that you must live your life without hope. You create the future that you want to create, but life is not absolute. No one "alwayses" or "nevers". I don't intend to discount your feelings or take anything away from your experience, but I was once a pessimistic person myself. I chose at some point to change my outlook to preserve my sanity. No one knows what the future holds, and your situation has just as much of a chance to improve as it does to not improve. I think you are doing yourself an extreme injustice by making up your mind that the rest of your life is going to be miserable because you don't want to admit that things can get better just as easily as they can get worse. You are sure to manifest what you believe to be your reality. This is just another opinion and is in no way meant to disrespect your feelings, but I am sad for you that you are making up your mind to be miserable permanently. I sincerely hope things get better for you, but if you don't want or believe it to be possible, I can guarantee it won't. I wish you the best, even if you don't wish that for yourself.

Wait a minute! I am NOT a pessimistic, nor a miserable person.

Don't label me. You don't know me!

Just because I have declared that this surgery was not right for me, does not make me "hopeless", "miserable" or "pessimistic".

Why is it so hard for people to accept that I don't like the results of having 85% of my stomach removed?

I just don't like it. I will never like it but that doesn't make me a pessimistic person, I just don't like it! For all the reasons that I have stated.

I can't grow it back and VSG rarely stretch significantly, so in six years, I will still only have 150 to 200 ml capacity in my remaining stomach.

I will still be on Vitamins, Iron supplements and injections for life.

That's why I know that regardless of time passing, I will not view this any differently.

I am an intelligent, educated, travelled 54 year old woman. I am viewing this logically and with presence of mind.

Your comments are inflammatory, which I imagine was the desired effect. Saying that I "don't wish the best for myself" is petty and childish.

You say that you "had to change your outlook for your sanity". Perhaps this is more about your issues than me saying that I don't like my new stomach.

I wonder what it is about me saying that I don't like my new stomach that has rattled your cage enough for you to attack my character in this way.

I am a positive, happy Christian woman. My faith keeps me buoyant even when I make stupid mistakes like this. "Hopeless" only applied for brief moments when my surgical team didn't know how to help me and my friends and family thought I might die.

Please be more careful in the labels you through out in future!

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[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I agree that absolutes and generalizations like: never, always, all, everyone, only, etc., can be dangerous, especially for self-talk.

[justhere4theshow 462]

You didn't rattle my cage. I expressed yet another opinion. Your life is your own, and I certainly had no intent to label you. My words were based on yours, however incorrectly I interpreted your words. I still wish you the best, just as I did before.