No support, Traveling to Mexico, alone...

[Marie1120 9]

Okay, so I've been heavily looking at the Angeles Hospital in Tijuana Mexico. I only felt safe telling a close friend about this but she is just not supportive. In the beginning I planned for her and I to go together. We hadn't seen each other in several years since I moved away. We are both young 22 year olds and have been in contact over the years just never met up. I should add that we have been friends since we were 7. Like most people we often had our differences but never saw eye to eye. Still we were there for each other. This situation has really bought our friendship to a tipping point.

At first I was fine with her not being supportive. I said I would travel alone which I read many people do. However this morning she texted me and asked who I was bringing and I said no one. She proceeded to call me stubborn and say it's dangerous and I need to bring someone. I'm not afraid at all I feel okay about the situation and told her that she was pretty much causing stress that's not needed especially if I feel okay. I tried to explain to her that there would be someone who picks me up directly from the airport and that the surgery is in a hospital and that most importantly I feel safe with my decision. But that wasn't good enough for HER. She basically told me that it's on me but she's not discussing the situation anymore. I told her that if she isn't willing to stick with me the whole way through and important decision in my life that she thinks is something I should be cautious of then maybe there's not point in speaking with her at all.

I feel so confused. I don't get it. She thought I wasn't trying to hear her out but I was and I tried to reassure her I'd be fine and I feel okay. I feel like if she really wants me to be safe and okay she would try to keep tabs through out the journey. The only reason I opted to go alone was because SHE didn't feel safe going with me. I feel a little hurt that I now have no one to support me through this. It's something I really really want to do as the weight keeps piling on through the years. I'm only 22 and I've literally never lived my teenage or previous years happy and comfortable with my body and I've finally found something I think will get me started on that path. I just need some reassurance or support. Hopefully I can find it here.

[KristenLe 5,979]

I think she's probably scared. Life is about to change and that's scary. She's also worried about you. Why are you going to Mexico? Do you not qualify to have surgery here? I have no issues with Mexico - I just wonder if part of her concern is that she doesn't think you need surgery. Please be sure you are aware of all the changes that you will need to make. If it's right for you - talk to your friend. If she still can't support you - my guess is that you will not remain friends. Weight loss surgery can effect many relationships.

[Marie1120 9]

I think she's probably scared. Life is about to change and that's scary. She's also worried about you. Why are you going to Mexico? Do you not qualify to have surgery here? I have no issues with Mexico - I just wonder if part of her concern is that she doesn't think you need surgery. Please be sure you are aware of all the changes that you will need to make. If it's right for you - talk to your friend. If she still can't support you - my guess is that you will not remain friends. Weight loss surgery can effect many relationships.

Unfortunately I don't qualify here. I am obese but I don't have enough health effects. No diabetes, high blood pressure, no sleep apnea, nothing like that. But I have a disease called Hidradenitis Suppurativa. It can be helped by losing weight. I am not comfortable saying my exact weight but for a 5'3 frame I'm pretty heavy.

I decided to go to Mexico for that reason. I don't qualify here. So I chose a hospital and after seeing a video online of a guy showing the whole process I felt very secure in my decision. I don't want to be stressed about this. Of course complications can arise but I'm trying to remain positive. I've mentioned it time and time again that I feel okay. If she can't be there physically I would love her emotional support but how do I get that if she doesn't even want to discuss the surgery at all?

[KristenLe 5,979]

Maybe you could show her some of the research and info you learned. That may make her more comfortable. Have you been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome? That often goes along with HS. Just tell your friend exactly how you feel and that you really could use her support. Listen to her concerns and fears. Try to help her understand.

[KristenLe 5,979]

@@Marie1120 You have my support! I wish I had surgery at your age - my life would have been very different! Good luck!

[maldonado46435 19]

I had surgery in Tijuana Mexico last week once u contact ur agents everything is planned and scheduled you will never be alone plus u will make new friends that come from all over. I never told anyone I was going to get surgery for the same reason I didn't want negative feed back. Don't worry it's safe. Good luck

[Marie1120 9]

Maybe you could show her some of the research and info you learned. That may make her more comfortable. Have you been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome? That often goes along with HS. Just tell your friend exactly how you feel and that you really could use her support. Listen to her concerns and fears. Try to help her understand.

I've shown her lots of information I read and reviews and even the video of the hospital but I just think she's set in her idea which is fine. It's mainly the refusal to speak with me about it that's put me off.

I haven't been diagnosed with pcos but I also haven't gotten a Pap smear, I know shame on me. I'm just nervous. The HS is on my inner thighs as well and I'm so embarrassed by that. I'm sure they've seen it all its just that feeling that something is wrong with me and feeling like I need to hide it. But since you've mentioned it I will schedule one ASAP.

Also thank you so much for your support I honestly appreciate it more than you can imagine. Hopefully this journey goes smoothly.

[Marie1120 9]

I had surgery in Tijuana Mexico last week once u contact ur agents everything is planned and scheduled you will never be alone plus u will make new friends that come from all over. I never told anyone I was going to get surgery for the same reason I didn't want negative feed back. Don't worry it's safe. Good luck

Thank you! I'm so glad I found someone who feels the way I do. How was the surgery? How are you doing now?

[KristenLe 5,979]

There's alot of support on this site - and many who went to Mexico and did very well.

Edited August 3, 2016 by KristenLe

[kitkattulsa 28]

Is there not a support group you can start to meet others who will be there when you go?

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[maldonado46435 19]

Today is my 9th day out and I feel great. My surgery went well. Everything was so fast. Today I started to get my energy back I'm not drinking pain meds my incisions are almost completely closed except for the one the had the drain it still hurts a little. But other than that I feel I made a good choice for my self to get the surgery done in Mexico. You can email me if u have more questions or concerns. Do your research and be informed before you go. maldonado46435@yahoo.com

[azsoul 24]

I had surgery in Tijuana in May and met several people in the hospital who were there alone. It will be fine. The whole trip to Mexico is like a blur now. All went well and I am enjoying adding new foods into my diet weekly, trying on smaller clothes and acknowledging the compliments of people who notice I've lost weight. But even better--I feel better and can do more--had more fun than ever playing outside with my grandkids when I visited them last week.

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[Uniqbtrfly 27]

I had my GS done 4 yrs ago by Dr. Almanza in Tiajuana Mexico. My husband went with me but I can tell you we were treated with the utmost respect and professionalism. We were never left alone. I had a friend who went alone and had no problems. I would do it all over again...no regrets.

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[jodesgard 2]

I think it's absolutely reasonable for your friend to disagree with what you are doing. But regardless of that, she should be there to give you support. That's what friends do! We don't always agree, but no matter what we stand by them and love them and help them if things go pair shaped!

Maybe contact her and let her know that you understand her concerns and that you have thought about them too. But that you have done your research and are happy with your decision and feel that this fighting isn't helpful. Maybe also say that you would appreciate her support even though she doesn't agree with it as you can't imagine going through a major event in your life without her?

I hope everything goes well xo

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[Marie1120 9]

Hi thanks everyone for your responses, advice, and even experience! I appreciate everything! I'll most likely be scheduling my surgery for October and I'm so excited. My friend agreed to come with me and meet me in San Diego, I guess after she realized how much I wanted her to be there for me whether emotionally or physically she decided to come along. I watched this video that just hit the button on how I felt. Basically the young lady in the video said to not let anyone make decisions for your life. No matter who they are. This is my life and as far as I know the only one I get. I should be living it happily.