Struggling In DC

[AMS3188 33]

Hi there,

So this is my first post. Bypass scheduled for August 8th, and dealing with a pretty restrictive pre-op diet because I haven't been able to lose the weight my surgeon wanted me to. I know a lot of people have a more intense pre-op diet than me, but this one got dropped on me at the last minute, and I'm really having a tough time getting my head around it.

I know it sounds crazy, but I feel truly devastated about what I think of as "losing food" as part of my life. I never realized how out of control my eating was, or how dependent I am on food until now. I am surprised because I have been able to eat nothing but Water for over a week in the past, but that was part of an eating disorder and I guess I knew I could always binge again in the future. This time I know that I won't be able to do that. I feel so sad when I see other people eating carbs, in a similar way as I used to feel sad when I saw people in happy relationships. I guess it's jealousy, and frustration about not being able to have a "normal" life. I'm wondering if the reason I am still single is because food has always been my primary partner. Whether bad or good, my relationship to food has been a huge part of my daily life. I guess I'm starting to panic, knowing that won't be true anymore.

I'm also struggling everyday because my weight has really started to disable me in the last few months. It's very difficult for me to go to the theater, or find seats in public, or travel, or even walk anymore. I guess I keep questioning whether I can actually do this really hard thing (surgery) that I know I have to do if I want to have a life worth living.

I'm sorry for rambling, but I really didn't know where else to turn. Does anybody else relate to these feelings? I haven't been able to go to the support group at my hospital because it is really far away, and during times when I'm busy. Would anyone consider being a "bypass buddy" with me? I think if I knew anyone going through something similar it might help. Anyway, thanks to anyone who even reads this. It's funny, you all are total strangers but now you know my darkest secrets really. Well, sorry to be a downer. Cheers!

Amy

[achappex3 346]

Your love for food will not be over. The way I see it, you'll get a new found love for it!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[judy vsg 126]

Amy, you are embarking on a journey that will lead you to a healthier, happier life and will be the start of a new life for yourself. It's a huge step and can be very scary, but so many of us have done this and wish we had done it sooner. Quality of life goed up in so many ways.

I am totally with you in the "food is my friend" thing. It's difficult and normal to go through some mourning.

I am 17 days postop from sleeve and still finding my way through figuring out which foods feel okay and which ones to avoid, even if they may be allowed. It's not easy but very worth it. Keep strong and reach out for support

[James Marusek 5,244]

Life is full of trade-offs. I traded my love of food for good health. I am 3 years post-op RNY gastric bypass surgery and believe that the surgery was the best thing that ever happened to me.

As I aged, I gained weight. I was fine with that. But as the years dragged on, my obesity began to affect my health. I developed high blood pressure, diabetes, severe acid reflux (GERD) and sleep apnea and several other conditions. Very, very shortly after surgery, all these conditions went into remission and remained there.

That was the main reason why I underwent the surgery. But there were several added benefits.

I lost a lot of weight. My BMI is now in the normal category.

I can do physical manual labor without becoming tired, sweating a lot, and getting winded. I am 67 years old and now have the endurance (for work) that I had when I was in my 30's.

Clothes fit. My size was so large before surgery that I could no longer find clothing in department stores. I went from a size 3X in shirts to a size Small and from a size 46 in pants down to a size 33. I threw away my entire wardrobe and began again but this time with the latest fashions and they looked good on me.

[Mrs. Riddle 7]

I remember having surgery and crying because I could not eat what I wanted to eat. Think of the bypass as the beginning of a new you and remember with this new life you eat to live not live to eat. You will do amazing and this app seems to be pretty awesome at connecting people and providing a support base. So keep working hard. Some days will be easier then others, I actually started therapy after my surgery to help me cope and it was one of the best decisions I made.

Sent from my 5054N using the BariatricPal App

[KAAI5 20]

I hear you. My surgery is the 1st and this 2 week diet has been rough even though I've still been allowed one actual meal a day. Today I'm full liquid until sun night. My family made bacon and cinnamon rolls and I'm here questioning my sanity hahahaha

One thing I keep mourning is the idea of never being able to enjoy a cold beer after a day outside in the summer or even no longer being able to gulp down Water to satiate my thirst after working up a sweat. And hearing that salad will probably be an issue for some reason bothered me more than it should, if I liked salad so much I might not need this surgery lol!! I keep wondering if this is the right choice, can I say goodbye to enjoying huge meals out? drinking as I eat? It's not an easy road we have ahead but I know deep down its the right one. We are giving up our codependent relationship with food, not the entire relationship. We are going to learn to love food in a whole new way and much smaller amounts. More than that we will be able to fit in those seats and not worry every time we are invited to an unfamiliar place if we will fit in a chair or have to stand in pain bc we might break the chair or something! I think that's worth it. For me, I have to make this 'sacrifice' and end the bad relationship in exchange for a longer life with my family, that's worth more than a chimichanga covered in cheese and guac washed down with an ice cold corona! There's a person out there waitin for you to feel ready to add them to your world, I think that will be worth it for you.

This is going to be interesting for sure! Scary and at times we are going to wonder wtf we have done but I truly believe in the end we find it was the best decision.

[AMS3188 33]

Thanks everyone for responding. It's just helpful to hear from people at different points with this, and to know I'm not as isolated as I feel sometimes. I'm feeling a little better about the diet right now, but I'm anticipating another possible bump in the road when I go to Clear liquids on Thursday... I'm actually happy in a way to be struggling with the diet stuff now, so maybe I will be more prepared for after surgery. Part of me wants to back out at the last minute, but I think that's probably a natural response to having my life-long coping strategy threatened. I have to keep reminding myself how strong I am, and how excited I am to be able to find new coping skills like going for walks, which I can't even do now.

I am actually working with a therapist, but I had to leave my old one because I recently moved. It's a bit hard because my last therapist really understood my emotional food stuff, and it's hard to explain to someone new. Anyway, I just hope in six months or a year, I will be on here telling other people that I made the right decision with surgery.

@@KAAI5, I can't believe your family made cinnamon rolls! I would just die, haha! All I really want is carbs and more carbs right now. I'm also apprehensive about being thirsty and not being able to gulp Water, especially with the summer heat. My dietician said she never had anyone complain about that afterwards, but I guess it's good to know I'm not the only one with that fear. I hope your surgery goes really well. You're exactly one week ahead of me, so I'd love to hear how you are doing whenever you feel up to posting.