New, scared, & stressed

[Veronicaleigh 0]

Hi all,

I'm pretty new here, and I just set up my surgery date to be banded on September 11th (I know, kinda scary day, but whatev). I'm extremely scared/nervous about this whole thing. I've been unable to keep off the excess weight that just piled on in college and honestly feel somewhat sad that I have to resort to a surgical procedure in order to get healthy again. I don't want to feel this way because I am really excited about it, but there are only several people in my life that support my choice and the rest just think I should hard core workout and diet. Did anyone else have this problem with the people in your life? How do you overcome it?

For now, I'm just going to kinda look around here and read all of the positive things that people have posted and hope that they keep me focused on the good that is to come.

[Sooverit! 1]

Hi Veronica: You are not alone as you can see from the thousands that are on here. This is such a huge decision and life altering proceedure. I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. It's tough to go it alone but it is difficult for others in our lives to understand what we're going through if they know so little about it. I think that it wouldn't be a terrible idea if you maybe postponed the surgery? Then you could give yourself say 6 weeks to go on this site and or others like this daily, attend support groups and build your own little support team or at least feel more strong about doing. When I was 22 I know I couldn't do something like this unless I had huge support. I am almost 50 and it's amazing how much more independent you can get and don't need support as much but for now try to set up a support group for yourself...you can do it and you are worth it. Take it one step at a time....you are so young and have time to take it slow and do it right!

best to you

MJ

[mbeckett1 0]

Veronica: Keep your chin up & have extreme confidence in your decision. Who cares if there are some that don't support you? You are doing this for yourself...not them...always remember that. It doesn't matter that we all had to resort to surgery, at least we did something about it. This is absolutely the best thing I've ever done for myself. Yes I could have lost the weight but eventually it would come back on again.

A quick story you'll relate to. I got my surgery date on July 20th & they told me Aug. 16th. Well that happens to be the 6th anniversary of my 23 year old sister's sudden death while in her sleep so OF COURSE I had thoughts about it but when I told my mom she plainly said "It doesn't have anything to do with it". I never looked back & I had the best surgery & I've really had a very easy recovery. On day 9 I feel AMAZING. We went out to P.F. Chang's last night & never in my wildest dreams did I think I would merely sip on Won Ton Soup broth there!!! Best of luck & please let us know how you did! Hang in there & if you have any questions we are here for you!:cheer2:

[MissNilsa 0]

Hi all,

I'm pretty new here, and I just set up my surgery date to be banded on September 11th (I know, kinda scary day, but whatev). I'm extremely scared/nervous about this whole thing. I've been unable to keep off the excess weight that just piled on in college and honestly feel somewhat sad that I have to resort to a surgical procedure in order to get healthy again. I don't want to feel this way because I am really excited about it, but there are only several people in my life that support my choice and the rest just think I should hard core workout and diet. Did anyone else have this problem with the people in your life? How do you overcome it?

For now, I'm just going to kinda look around here and read all of the positive things that people have posted and hope that they keep me focused on the good that is to come.

Hi:

Another story for you. I was thinking about this surgery in November/December 06. I went to the lapband website and I showed my boyfriend. Asked him to look at and and tell me what he thinks..... How do you like this: He took less than 30 seconds on the site (true); and turned around, looked at my face and said one word. NO.

That was pretty devastating to me but 1 month or so after, my own doctor recommended it and it was all i needed.

So - use the support here and tell yourself that you are not alone because you have 10 thousand friends along the ride with you until and after your surgery as long as you want us.

best,

Nilsa

[Bergdorfblonde 3]

Hi Veronica,

I can see if people don't support your decision because you are only 22 and they think you can just diet and excersise. Alot of people said that to me to because I am 30. However, if you look at my dieting history, I started going to diet doctors at the age of 8 because I was obese. I was skinny for a short stretch in college (my freshman and sophmore years). so I have done it by myself in the past, but I have a lifelong struggle with weight and I really needed this. If you have been on diets your whole life, it makes sense to do this. Altho just remember, it is surgery and it does hurt! I just got banded on 8/21 and I have severe stomach pains and gas pains. So it is a struggle. If you have struggled with weight your whole life, it is definitely worth it and I say go for it.

Hi all,

I'm pretty new here, and I just set up my surgery date to be banded on September 11th (I know, kinda scary day, but whatev). I'm extremely scared/nervous about this whole thing. I've been unable to keep off the excess weight that just piled on in college and honestly feel somewhat sad that I have to resort to a surgical procedure in order to get healthy again. I don't want to feel this way because I am really excited about it, but there are only several people in my life that support my choice and the rest just think I should hard core workout and diet. Did anyone else have this problem with the people in your life? How do you overcome it?

For now, I'm just going to kinda look around here and read all of the positive things that people have posted and hope that they keep me focused on the good that is to come.

[Sooverit! 1]

MBeckett1 I am sitting here stunned after reading about when you got your surgery! I too have a twin sister who died early in her sleep (from sleep apnea) She died in April of 06. I will keep that date in mind as I am still far from surgery as I have not gotten my insurance approval and I am in the gray area with under 40 BMI and still waiting to see if my PCP will cooperate with all the paperwork. You gave ME support actually as I have none either except for one cousin. You mentioned having only Soup at the restaurant - or someone else - I can't help worrying that I will miss eating like I do now and feel deprived, frustrated and nervous at not having the life long comfort of food....as much as want to eat of it food!

[allwright 0]

Veronica, you do not need validation to do what is right for you. Did you get it to put on the weight...I think not! People can be cruel if we allow it. That is why a lot of us only told people that had a need to know. My husband, mother and favorite sister in law are the only one's who knew. I had their support for my decision. Almost 5 months have past and 50 lbs less of me so far. No one else knows and I do not go through the "How much have you lost", or "Are you sure you should have that" or any of the statements I hear others getting from the nay-sayers! Again, do what is right for you! Good luck with your decision.

[Bergdorfblonde 3]

I dont want to tell anyone either. I just dont want to have to deal with their judgements. I told my mom and she told the whole western world. I dont care if she tells people. Its just not something I want to do. I think its a personal thing and you don't have to tell everyone you had a lap band. People look down on you like there is something wrong with you that you need surgery to lose weight. But look at how many years we have all been trying to lose weight on our own and failed. I think it is a personal decision and you dont have to tell everyone. You can be really picky in who you tell your personal things to. The lap band is hard enough; we dont need judgement from people!

Veronica, you do not need validation to do what is right for you. Did you get it to put on the weight...I think not! People can be cruel if we allow it. That is why a lot of us only told people that had a need to know. My husband, mother and favorite sister in law are the only one's who knew. I had their support for my decision. Almost 5 months have past and 50 lbs less of me so far. No one else knows and I do not go through the "How much have you lost", or "Are you sure you should have that" or any of the statements I hear others getting from the nay-sayers! Again, do what is right for you! Good luck with your decision.

[Big As Life 0]

I Have Been Blessed With A Very Supportive Family And Friends...surround Yourself With The Supportive Ones And Stay Away From Those That Do Not Support You In This Decision....

[mbeckett1 0]

Sooverit: It is hard to look & smell food but since you aren't physically

able to eat it it isn't so bad as pre-op. I too was under 40BMI 37.5 actually so I know where you are coming from. My insurance policy says they don't cover any of this so I didn't want to pay double but I sure hope you get your's through & done. Please keep me posted! Your mind is a powerful thing & just think of the wonderful opportunity you have that many don't.

[Sooverit! 1]

Thanks Mbeckett and to all those people who make judgements about us getting the lap band ..tell them to open their eyes ...take a trip to Europe and find out how many people have it there. In Europe it's 100 percent paid for and the BMI requirements are much lower. Some actually get it to maintain a healthy weight...they don't even wait to get obese..especially if it already runs in their families. In the book YOU on a DIET ...Dr. Oz even starts a paragraph by saying ....Banding in the future may be required for all Americans....if food portions continue the way they are going...and obesity continues to run rampit here!

[FlyGal 0]

Hi,

I knew I would have the same problem so I only told certain people. I got banded on the 14th of August, I have lost 17 pounds and doing really well, get my first 'mushy' foods tomorrow. Who is doing your surgery?

FlyGal

[kwkellkelly 0]

Hi Veronica- I totally get where you are coming from. I told very few people before the surgery. It was my decision and I understood why it was necessary for ME and I didnt want the confusion of others' opinions or judgements. So I told only 4 people. My parents didnt even know. I think I have become more comfortable with the decision and could care less if people think it is a cop-out and that I should have been able to do it through diet alone. I know they are wrong and all I care about is that I will succeed with this tool. Anyone who thinks you should be able to do this on your own...just tell them that they should be able to wash dishes by hand but they use a dishwasher! Stay strong and think of yourself and your needs. The opinions will change when you are healthy and thin!!

[Bergdorfblonde 3]

If any of us could do it alone, we wouldn't do this. 99% of people who lose weight on diets gain it back plus more weight. We are no more flawed then other people. Some people are drug addicts, alcoholics, smokers, batterers etc. Its just that our addiction shows up on our body as extra weight. I think having the lap band isnt a cop out. I think it is smart. Because we are taking responsibility for our lives and our health. Its nothing to be ashamed of. But we don't have to tell everyone either. Its a personal choice to take care of ourselves.

Hi Veronica- I totally get where you are coming from. I told very few people before the surgery. It was my decision and I understood why it was necessary for ME and I didnt want the confusion of others' opinions or judgements. So I told only 4 people. My parents didnt even know. I think I have become more comfortable with the decision and could care less if people think it is a cop-out and that I should have been able to do it through diet alone. I know they are wrong and all I care about is that I will succeed with this tool. Anyone who thinks you should be able to do this on your own...just tell them that they should be able to wash dishes by hand but they use a dishwasher! Stay strong and think of yourself and your needs. The opinions will change when you are healthy and thin!!

[Veronicaleigh 0]

Thanks everyone for all of your reassurance and help. I've been using all of ya'lls advice and it has been such a great help. I'm just trying to ignore all of the negativity that comes towards me from people and just embrace my decision. I'm starting to get really excited about my upcoming surgery with Dr Rumbaut and less scared. Again, thanks so much!