I hate it when people say...

[her1981 448]

I lost XXX pounds and I didn't even have to have surgery to do it!!

Every time I see/hear it, I can't roll my eyes hard enough! Why does it matter?? Surgery is not the easy way out! You still have to watch what you eat! I am living proof. I just want to say, "so, good for you and stfu"!

ugh! OK, rant over.

[Daisee68 2,493]

Agreed! And while we are ranting, can I hijack your post for 1 minute? ....

If my mom asks me again "you haven't lost any more weight have you?", I think I am going to scream!!! I am at goal, but I cannot magically turn it off. And even though I have stabilized within a few pounds for over a month, my measurements are changing as gravity seems to be causing my skin to drift downwards. It is driving me CRAZY! I seriously want to tell her what you said - stfu! I would feel the same way if she had asked me in the past "you haven't gained any MORE weight have you". She never said THAT to me. Why does she feel the need to say it now?!

Oh and hear is another one - every time I talk to one of my friends now who might slightly be overweight, they all feel the need to tell me they are dieting or "getting back on Weight Watchers" or they feel like they have to order something healthy when we are out or cannot finish all their food (or tell me rebelliously they don't care what I say, they are going to eat it all.). That's great. More power to them, but it's like they need me to know they are doing something about their weight. I honestly don't care. I do not love or hate them any more or less whether they are fat or skinny or just a lovely little extra poofy. I am NOT judging them and I have never once said anything to anyone of them about them needing to lose weight or eat healthier. Dang.

Ok, sorry. Didn't mean to hijack this but I was coming on here to rant about what my mom just said for the umpteenth time and saw your post!

[her1981 448]

@@Daisee68 hijack anytime! I am just so annoyed lately by all things related to weight loss.(except bariatricpal, lol), I've had to hide various weight loss groups on fb cuz I just couldn't take the foolery anymore. I think the bonus here is that I can choose what I want to look at.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

@@her1981, maybe it would suit your personality to say something noncommittal with a pleasant tone: "How nice for you!" It isn't confrontational, but they get the meaning. Those who tell you about losing weight and feel compelled to throw in the absence of surgery are being ultra competitive. When they regain, they won't be making any announcements.

@@Daisee68, it sounds to me that the ones who tell you about being "back" on their diets are feeling insecure because of what you're doing.

Both of your notes bring to mind what happens when I'm waiting for a bus here in the city. If the wait is unusually long -- and, when it comes to waiting, 20 seconds feel interminable -- and another waiting passenger approaches me to vent, I look at him, give a half nod and then, without a word, walk 10 paces away. Long ago it occurred to me that the complainer feels better, but I end up feeling worse. I'm already antsy about the wait; I won't allow the strangers to soothe themselves at my expense. Pfft on them. The scenario certainly is different from what you're relating, but maybe there's something in it that you can use?

[Cervidae 2,389]

Yes! That reminds me of how annoyed I was last night watching old episodes of Skin Tight. "I lost 140 pounds the NATURAL way" said one of the people on the show, and the two younger plastic surgeons were like "OMG GOOD JOB that's so much more rewarding and that's the best way to do it!" And were fawning all over her. I wish I could roll my eyes so much more, but if I did it any harder they would pop out of the sockets and fly off into space.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I lost XXX pounds and I didn't even have to have surgery to do it!!

I lost XXX pounds and **KEPT** it off because of surgery. So SUCK it.

[Mzdiggs 169]

Okay so can I through in the latest People magazine. How "real" women lost over 100 lbs. hmm thought I was a real woman, had a cycle, had two kids, five miscarriages and now going through menopause. I must have missed something on the road to "real" womanhood.

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[Fredbear 397]

@@her1981

Both of your notes bring to mind what happens when I'm waiting for a bus here in the city. If the wait is unusually long -- and, when it comes to waiting, 20 seconds feel interminable -- and another waiting passenger approaches me to vent, I look at him, give a half nod and then, without a word, walk 10 paces away. Long ago it occurred to me that the complainer feels better, but I end up feeling worse. I'm already antsy about the wait; I won't allow the strangers to soothe themselves at my expense. Pfft on them. The scenario certainly is different from what you're relating, but maybe there's something in it that you can use?

I've made it a habit to bring and use noise-cancelling headphones when I travel just to avoid talkers. I also pull out the iPad and begin reading.

Even with these clear "LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE" signs, there have still been three occasions where I literally had to turn to a person and say, "I'm sorry that your parents never taught you to entertain yourself, but I have no interest in talking to you because you are bored and need attention. Now STFU and leave me alone."

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

Edited July 22, 2016 by Fredbear

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Okay so can I through in the latest People magazine. How "real" women lost over 100 lbs. hmm thought I was a real woman, had a cycle, had two kids, five miscarriages and now going through menopause. I must have missed something on the road to "real" womanhood.

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I'm ok with being a "fake" woman. I am a THIN "fake" woman.

[missengineer 19]

I lost XXX pounds and I didn't even have to have surgery to do it!!

Every time I see/hear it, I can't roll my eyes hard enough! Why does it matter?? Surgery is not the easy way out! You still have to watch what you eat! I am living proof. I just want to say, "so, good for you and stfu"!

ugh! OK, rant over.

Yeah, but most of these people gain it back (and sometimes some more) eventually.

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[needtorecover 574]

Yes, there's a reason these "real" women made it into People magazine - because losing 100 pounds (or more) without WLS is so excessively difficult and rare that these ladies get attention from the media. And meanwhile it makes other women feel bad about themselves for looking into bariatric surgery because "If these women did it, I can do it, too!" Then they get motivated and lose a couple pounds but eventually lose steam after a couple months and then regain the weight and then some.

I know because I used to be one of those women More than anything, those stupid articles are damaging for giving people false hope.

I had WLS and I'm proud of it! Anyone who gives me flack for my decision can shove it where the sun don't shine.

Modern medicine exists for a reason. Why lose weight struggling with the misery of constant deprivation when you can greatly reduce your suffering with bariatric surgery?

Okay so can I through in the latest People magazine. How "real" women lost over 100 lbs. hmm thought I was a real woman, had a cycle, had two kids, five miscarriages and now going through menopause. I must have missed something on the road to "real" womanhood.


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[B1essed1 61]

I'm sure many will disagree and that's totally fine with me....

However, for me personally...wls has been the easiest way out.

I've had food addiction most of my adult life and without forcefully being restricted from food was the only thing that could save me from myself. A food addiction is probably the most difficult type of addiction to overcome. Mainly because you just can't stay away from food completely. A crackhead has a better chance of recovery because they just have to stay away from the crack house or people that are enablers.

I lost 70 lbs on my own before wls and I can tell you that it was hands down far more difficult than the wls. I worked out 2 hours almost everyday and was eating lean small meals.I was very non social cause there was no way I had enough will power to not indulge while eating with friends. I felt great, but I was miserable and always hungry. After a life long of yo-yo dieting, I knew wls was the only way out of that addiction. I'm sure if there was a surgery that could help crackheads stop being crackheads ,I would definitely never discourage them from taking the easy way out. Who really cares as long as their finally healthy and whole again. I'm proud to admit this has been the easiest way out for me.

[Daisee68 2,493]

@@B1essed1 - No disagreement here. I too could not have and HAVE NOT been able to do it without WLS. I have said to my therapist that I can see why people feel it was the "easy" way out. (Of course most of those people haven't experienced to be able to have an opinion about it one way or the other.) Not only did the liquid and pureed parts get me jumpstarted, the getting sick by eating too fast or too much has certainly changed my eating habits - even at almost 14 months post-op. I am SO grateful for the surgery which allows me to (mostly) not think about food constantly and frankly for all the "tools" that came with the process (counseling and nutritionist). Even with these tools, I am confident I couldn't have done it without the surgery. And as others have pointed out, many that are able to lose that much weight through diet and exercise alone (without WLS) very often gain it back. I am so aware now of my food addiction and just like an alcoholic, I will always be "in recovery". I suppose it all depends on how people define "easy", but I would agree that this has certainly been the "easiest" and only successful way I have ever lost weight (and the ONLY time I have reached a healthy goal weight).

[her1981 448]

@@B1essed1 I would agree that the losing process is easier, but the willpower, mental, emotional, social stuff is not. Even still, I have no regrets.

[heathero78 18]

Here is one! HR over defends and over explains why our insurance doesn't cover surgery. This comes when I ask how long in advance should I request my loan and do FMLA paperwork. Why do I care to hear it over again? I am shown examples of the fat binders full of paper she has to go thru and reminded she can be held personally liable for all the regulations and laws. THEN I hear "congratulations! I'm a fan of that show My 600lb Life. I'm behind you all the way!".....whole time I'm thinking please stop talking and just give me a timeframe that answers my two questions-I don't need all that phony jazz! ...whew feel better. Rant over.

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