Unsupportive fiance

[Misty Olsen 0]

I am sorry for your lack of support. I only had my surgery on the 13th...but I can tell you the most important thing is support. I have two people in my intimate circle and then I faithfully go to my local support group at times I think about dropping support...but the one thing I have noticed....the most successful people I know of doing this has been going to support, and really dedicated to making the life changes.

I wish you luck, I promise no matter what anyone claims... it is not the easy way out, and allows you to obtain a healthier longer life.

[thestruggleisrealforme 1]

My ex-husband was not supportive although he says he was. After weight loss, I felt and looked amazing. I figured out I can do better, so I filed for divorce. I'm remarried and super happy! Many gastric bypass patients end up divorcing, I was told this recently. Not sure if it's true. But here's the thing, it's not your weight that is the problem in your relationship. You need to be honest about the real problems. My ex for example was worried I'd lose weight and leave him. Well, he was right! It was about HIM, not me.

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[Daisy Day 91]

Only you live in your body, only you the right to make the choices about your body, unless he has ownership rights (last time I checked that had been abolished many years ago) he does not have the right to a vote. It really is just that simple

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[Washington_girl 7]

Here is my experience with an "husband unsupportive" husband...My husband wasn't excited for me to do the surgery. I talked with him a few times to get to the root of the problem. He was just honestly concerned about the risks of going under major surgery. His concerns were completely justified. I explained my reasoning, my research, and the complications of not having the surgery. I made sure to have the conversation multiple times along my path. (It was almost a year from my deciding I was ready). My husband has been completely supportive and helpful, he was just scared.

I also told my husband I would not have the surgery if he was adamant about it. I feel this is a decision for both of us as it effects him also. I had to do 6 months diet plan per insurance... and I explained I was going to continue to follow the supervised visits, because even without the surgery I needed to do something. I also explained what the surgery really means. It's not "cheating". You do all the work. It truely is a tool.

On a side note... the stupid comments about cheating or taking the easy way out... we all know it's not easy.... but who cares if it was! Seriously, is there a contest of life that says getting healthy should be a long drawn out process where relying on will power is the only option. It's the stupidest comment regarding Wls. I am going to take any advantage I can in order to be healthier, live longer, and interact more with my kids.

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[crissyboo 63]

I have been so absent lately. Everything is good on my end and my fiancé did a complete 360. I think he was more so frustrated with me because I never gave him the chance to explain to me how getting the surgery would make him feel. I just told him I'm getting gastric bypass without any thoughts from him. So I can see where his resentments came from. I guess I would be a little upset if the rolls were reversed. Who am I kidding? I would be livid. But he's been the most supportive person in my life right now and I am glad that I made the decision to go through with it with him by my side. I honestly don't think I would've made it without him and my family stepping up to support me. This beginning of my journey would've been a big challenge if I didn't have support.

I just want to say thank you to everyone who gave me awesome advice and encouragement. I truly appreciate it!

I hope all is well with everyone else well.

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