I turned down a job offer today

[Alexandra 55]

I'm not unemployed, but I'm employed in the wrong industry. For the last five years I've wanted to return to nonprofit administration--the right opportunity eluded me, and well, life goes on in the insurance biz.

So today I had a job interview. Everything was amazing: wonderful people, amazing location, beautiful physical plant (restored estate house!), interesting work for a noble cause (environmental preservation), schedule flexibility, and on and on.

But the money just wasn't there. I'd have had to take not only a 25% cut in salary but also pay 90% of my own health insurance premiums and 100% for my kids. And forget about bonuses or 401K contributions. :rolleyes

So I feel like a sellout, after having wanted this for so long. I spent 15 years working for a nonprofit so I know about tight budgets. But we've been free of the need to pinch every penny for a while now and I just don't want to go back there.

My current job is not bad, but it's nothing I'd like to make a career out of. Yet time being the way it is, I'll turn around in 10 years and find out that's exactly what I did.

Three years from now, someone remind me that I don't really like my job, OK? Thanks!

[nightingale2u 42]

Ahhh... the harsh realitys of being a grown-up... I hate it when that happens Alex! I remember taking a huge pay cut when I went from working in the hospital to clinical nursing. I was a single mom and it made things harder financially but the trade-off was my daughter seeing her mom on holidays and weekends and being much happier in general. It's just not fair that we have to give up one thing to have another. I'm sure you made the best decision for you and for your family Alex.

Darcy

[whippledaddy 5]

So what's so terrible? You've decided to preserve your OWN environment. We must take care of ourselves first, and others second. You're taking care of your family. If you need to feel that you are making a difference, why not volunteer?

But, you do make a difference, here. We love you and you help hurting people find a way to stop hurting. You are a much better person than you think you are.

TTFN

[DeLarla 22]

I'm right there with you. I haven't interviewed for other jobs, but being a paralegal isn't my dream career. But the money and benefits are good, so I hang around. I hope I can figure out what I want to be when I grow up pretty soon.

[blossom 2]

I know exactly how you feel, Alex. I really hate being a secretary, but have no idea what else I might want to do, so I just stay in the same old rut. Someday, I'm gonna grow up and be......a ?

[Vera 7]

I actually like my job; I get to test antennas with state of the art equipment, 3 computers and the latest technology at my finger tips. But I hate the long hours… I am so gearing to go part time. I long to spend more time with my kids, doing crafts, cooking, sports…But we can’t afford it right know. I’ve stopped shopping around and am really trying to budget so I can set a date to go part time…

Alexandra, we all have priorities…

[babsyintx 0]

Alex,

You made the right decision for your family and mothers usually put their needs on the back burner. Any good mom would do that and you are a good mom so dont forget it! I am a recruiter and own my company and my real dream is to be back in television production. But that would require I move to CA and I dont think that would be wise for my family. So although I am not miserable, I am not happy either. One day........

Babs in TX

334/189/170

-145

6/23/03

[La_madam 20]

Sometimes Alex we have to sacrafice our own needs , wants & desires for the needs , wants and desires of our family..Your day will come

[Iluvharleys 15]

I believe everything happens for a reason. You might not know that reason, but someday you will.

[Rebeccalee 2]

And when the time and circumstances are right -- you'll move on to what you really want to do.... Tomorrow really does eventually come.

[Zoe 6]

Alex, I think I know what you're going through. I worked in the nonprofit world for many years, then started a publications agency for nonprofits. But suddenly I needed to make some serious money to pay off bills, so off to the corporate world I went, six years ago, thinking it would be temporary. I'm still there. I have a great boss, good pay, good benefits -- and a job that doesn't suit me at all.

If you were childless it might be easier to walk away from the money, but paying huge bills for insurance isn't a choice most of us would, or could, willingly make. Keep looking: a better job will come along. And you're right to watch the calendar; the years can pass all too quickly. Me, I'm waiting for the board of directors to sell off the company I work for so I can collect my (very modest) pay-out and start a new life doing something I love. If there's a nonprofit alliance in your area, you might check it for job postings. Good luck!

[dishdiva 5]

Isn't it interesting how so many of us are in a similar place? On the surface, I appear to have a great gig. Working from home in broadcast news. Perfect for a single mom. But (and there's always a but), there's a trade-off. The hours are less than ideal; I could be making more money; and, I have a scary boss. I also have some professional needs that just aren't being met. It's all a big trade-off, isn't it? I'm a big believer in "doing what you love and the money will follow" and trusting that the Universe has bigger and better things in store for me.

On a band note -- I haven't posted in a long time -- went to the radiologist today so my surgeon can take another look at my slipped band. Which has hopefully slipped back into place. Cross your fingers. My bad habits came back with a vengence after my fill was removed in June and I've gained back 15 pounds! It would be even more, I'm convinced, if it wasn't for regular exercise. Radiologist said it looked okay to him, but that doesn't really mean much. If my surgeon doesn't like the way it looks, there will be no fills for me this holiday season. Should know more in a few days.

Elizabeth

08-28-03

-45

[Zoe 6]

Good luck with the radiologist, Elizabeth. I wonder if we bandsters are more inclined than the average person to try to recreate our work and personal lives. We wouldn't have opted for the band in the first place if we didn't believe we could change for the better; the band then shows us that, yes, change is possible.

[DeLarla 22]

Interesting concept, Zoe. I didn't start believing in myself till late in life. But since then "what is" is never good enough. There's always something better, and I feel a huge change coming on. I only finished college a few years ago and said if I ever became a paralegal I'd stick with it 5 years. It's only been 3 years but it's getting really old. Considering our legal system is supposed to be based around justice, it sure is an unfair and head-spinning game.

Elizabeth, did you get your GI results yet? I hope they're good.

[Vickums 0]

Oh, I can so relate. I want so desperately to be a midwife -- I (actually, literally) dream of delivering babies. I finally got my butt back to school to become a nurse, with the ultimate goal of being a midwife, if not a labor and delivery nurse.

But after graduation I found out that they won't hire new grads into labor and delivery. Even though I've been a doula for 15 years, taught childbirth classes, and have been steeped in birthing for such a long time. So right now I'm doing my time until I can get into L&D. I was offered a position in pediatrics, and took it because my boss assured me that when I got a few months of experience under my belt, and a position opened, she'd move me into it. Well, guess what? At least one position has come and gone but because it's so hard to replace me at my current position, she won't move me into L&D. I'm an adequate pediatric nurse, but I'd make a fabulous L&D nurse because it's my passion.

So yeah, I understand how you feel and empathize completely. I just have to hang onto my dream that someday, when the time is right, I'll be helping moms birth babies.