Surgery without telling anyone?

[lynnedilligaf 38]

Hi everyone! I've recently been cleared for surgery (sleeve gastrectomy) and arranged a date of 26th September. Very excited! I'm 31, have a BMI of 35, and single. I've tried (and failed) to lose weight for the past 16 years. Same story as everyone else - I lose 20 lbs and put 30 back on.

I've not told anyone about the surgery, and I don't plan to. I just think that people will think I'm taking the easy way out. No one else in my family has any weight issues, and I know they just think I'm lazy for being so fat. I'm definitely going ahead with the surgery, but wanted to know if anyone else had done it without telling anyone? I just can't be bothered with them judging me!

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[Missy407 63]

Yes, I only told my husband and I am so so thankful that I didn't tell anyone else. If you are single and are telling absolutely no one I think you will have to hire a nurse to drive you home from the hospital and maybe get you settled in for a half a day. Other than that, totally do-able on your own. I went to hospital by myself and wanted to take an Uber home but the Dr. told me I needed someone to stay with me for 24 hours. Good luck!

[krazy kat 107]

I'm quite a bit older than you and I could care what people think about me having the surgery! Ya get that way when ya get old...lol. You don't have to tell a soul....it's your journey!!

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[snorlax35 19]

Hi! I'm up for surgery 27th September, and plan not to tell anyone eccept my husband and my parents. My bmi is 38, and i practically have the same bakgrund as you. Surgery is a personlally thing, and you decide if you want to be open or not. Best of luck!

I wish I was as fat as I was the first time I felt fat.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@lynnedilligaf

People know I had surgery but they all live several states away. My family doesn't know, and none of my business associate know. I don't have the dreaded co-worker issue most people seem to have.

It is pretty easy to keep to yourself. And spite of people on message boards saying that "everyone will know you had surgery when you lose all that weight!". They really don't. As long as you aren't sitting on your ass all day eating bon bons people are going to think you put in hard work to lose weight, and it will be the truth because losing weight even with surgery is hard. Also for you, your BMI is low enough, you won't drop weight super fast and you don't have a lot to lose, so it should be easy to keep it to yourself.

If you really want to keep it to yourself. That means keeping it to yourself. Anyone you tell can be the weak link that tells someone else and then boom, everyone knows. All of my friends that know are friends with me but not with each other.

[lynnedilligaf 38]

Thank you so much for your replies. I know that if I tell one family member, others will find out. I just think it's my business and no one else's. There's one friend that I might tell at some point, but not until I've had it done. I kind of just want this to be my own journey without anyone watching. Yeah they'll see I've lost weight, but I've lost it in the past ... Just haven't kept it off. I live in a different country to all my friends and family, and I'm having the surgery done in Mexico (I've researched the place thoroughly) so no one will wonder where I am and they'll not see the weight coming off, as I'll not see any of them for a few months.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who isn't telling people. I just can't be arsed with being known as "the woman that had fat surgery" what people don't know won't hurt them

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[biginjapan 647]

@lynnediligaf - I'm in a similar situation as you. I'm a little older than you, with a much higher BMI, but I'm also single, live alone in another country far from friends and family, am getting the surgery done in Mexico, and I don't intend on telling anyone until (maybe) after the surgery. Even then it would probably just be my parents but I'm not sure my mom could keep it secret.

As others have said, it's really nobody's business but our own.

[ciaobella707 5]

I have the same surgery date!! I cannot wait! I'm 32 so I'm close to your age, as well! :-) I've told a few people that I know won't judge but don't plan on shouting it from the rooftop or anything! Lol I don't think people mean to be judgemental...most people don't know much about the surgery and think it's the easy way out...they don't realize the huge changes you'll have to make to be successful so it's not really that "easy" anyway. It's your choice and yours alone whether you want to tell anyone!! Good luck with everything and I'll be thinking of you when I go in for my surgery the same day!! :-)

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Edited July 15, 2016 by ciaobella707

[Christielyn 7]

I am same age and close to same bmi...just had my sleeve on the 12th. I too did not tell anyone but very close family (for the help) and a couple friends. I feel that people that don't have to deal with weight issues and everything else I have gone through my entire life will never understand any of it. The ones I told are most supportive and it still feels like a great decision.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

My husband and medical team knows. And two friends who live 1000 miles away (in opposite directions and don't even know each other).

It's been a non-issue. I didn't lose hugely fast. And I've yo-yo dieted a gazillion times, so everyone just thought I was on another diet and finally made it stick.

I've lost 100 pounds and now weigh 135.

YOU are in charge of your information. Do what makes YOU comfortable. Put your needs and yourself first.

[kitkattulsa 28]

My husband knows and may tell my daughter. Prefer to keep it private

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[Lema 236]

Some people like to talk to others about their private lives, some don't. I love to talk and all but I don't want people at work or school knowing what is going on in my personal life. Some of us are like that. The energy required for one to explain what is going on or what you did to everyone over and over can be tiring and invested somewhere else.

Personally I knew that sharing this with others was going to invite unnecessary drama and attention towards me so I chose not to tell anyone. Given the chance again, I will do the same thing. If someone asks, tell them you have some health issues you are working on and move on.

I do suggest you let at least one person in your life know what is going on so they can keep an eye on you from the distance. A good friend or a sibling..

I can and I will.

[lynnedilligaf 38]

I'm glad others are thinking the same way as me. I wouldn't say I'm a loner but I like to do things my own way. You've strengthened much belief that no one needs to know about it. Thank you.

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[potahto 26]

I know exactly how you feel. I didnt tell my Mom because of the way she is. She's always told me I'm fat and then tried to apologize by feeding my Mcdonalds and buying me junk food.

I'm not telling anyone because I don't want them thinking I'm taking the easy way out when, like you, I've struggled with weight loss for years

[NYCDreamer 38]

I'm 33, single, live alone, and work in a school setting that has a staff who gossip worse than the teenagers we teach. I've decided at this point to only have my mother and 2 closest friends aware of everything. Thankfully my mom is very very supportive, and my friends are super happy I'm doing something which will make me feel better long term.

I know I'm going to have to say something at work eventually as I am noticeably obese, and the severe weight loss that's going to happen in the short time after the surgery will be obvious. I honestly don't known how I'm going to approach it. Will i take on a idaf attitude and just come out and say it to whoever asks, or will I beat around the bush and never give a straight answer which in turn, will most likely make the gossip worse.

Oh vey lol.

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