Emotionally abusive relationship not fixed by weight loss

[rebecca wills 190]

Be very careful, you've graduated to the big girls club. I was in that situation and I have 5 daughters. I knew that for them I had to show them I was not going to stand for it any more. He wasn't always like that but after my last daughter was born I couldn't lose weight. My teen aged daughters heard his nasty comments. He was cheating, so I dug in my heels and kicked his butt out! Divorced him and never looked back. With in a year I met the man who has loved me fat and thin. He doesn't care! They are out there! He took me on with my 5 daughters. We're married for 15 years and I just had surgery!

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[theantichick 2,204]

Take care of yourself. And once you get rid of him, get yourself to a good place (I recommend therapy) before you start dating again. I was married to two men - each relationship was a total of about 10 years - who were emotionally abusive, though they were a lot more subtle about it than your guy. It is *so* hard breaking out of that kind of environment. My daughter really paid the price for the 2nd one as his daughter was horrible to her and he backed his daughter up all the time - I'm *still* finding out things that happened and we're a good 5-6 years after the fact.

Anyway, I took some time and got right with myself and okay with not being in a relationship before I started back in the dating game again. Met some doozies, and a few that might have been something. Then I met my current hubby, and he's a complete 180 from before. He is completely supportive and loving and I never knew relationships could be this good. His only concern about my weight is my health - he's ready and willing to change his own diet and lifestyle to support me with my changes. There *are* good ones out there, but *we* have to be in a place to love ourselves and not accept poor treatment before we're ready for them.

Hugs, hang in there!

[eliminnowp 113]

Are you living together or have kids together? I hope you can get yourself out of that situation soon!

Stay strong! You deserve respect and love.

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[LadyK44 263]

Congratulations on knowing that you deserve more. The next step is the hardest, walk away from him. Take time to heal and enjoy your new life. Love yourself and expect respect from others in your life just because you are you!

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[Kimba Maria Wiggins 81]

I know this all too well. I lived with a man who would belittle me because of my weight and say very cruel and nasty things to me (and expect me not to say anything about it). Things got so bad that I had to leave his house 7 months ago and I feel much better about myself.

He frowned upon weight loss surgery and would say, "You don't need to go to a nutritionist, you know how to eat right, just stop eating." Needless to say, I haven't spoken to him since, and it really upset me when I read this thread. I'm so sorry to hear of this, I hope things get better for you.

I've been in several emotionally abusive relationships and now I'm just getting back into the dating game after 2 years. My current boyfriend doesn't belittle me for what I look like and actually supports me getting sleeved (I haven't been sleeved yet but this is an issue that will come up after I get my sleeve 2 months from now).

Edited July 15, 2016 by Kimba Marie Angelina Wiggins

[connie6140 12]

Hunnie, it's NOT you with the problem....it's him!! Truth be known, his self-esteem is a lot lower than your's! He has to tear you down to try and build himself up! He thinks the lower he makes you feel, the better he will feel about himself! Sounds to me like you are way too good for him and deserve so much better! Kick him to the curb and find someone who will appreciate the beautiful person you are! I can assure you, in the end, it will be him that's sorry he lost you! Stay on your plan and watch who will be sorry in the end! I don't even know you but I can certainly see that you are a much more of a beautiful woman than he will ever be of a man!