361 Days Later: My Story

[shan0520 241]

@OutsideMatchInside thank you for always being honest and straight forward. I love reading your comments, views, and learning your story. You inspire me every day!

Sent from my VS995 using BariatricPal mobile app

[fastfoodaddictnomore 66]

I loved reading your story from start to finish. I see your wisdom in response to other posts and always take mental notes as they make perfect sense to me. I have not had surgery yet as I'm still saving up for self pay. Thank you for always encouraging us to get the mental health needed for this journey to make it a lifelong success. Xoxo

[rachelzf 13]

Today I am 24 month, 2 years post-op. I just went back today to read what I posed a year ago. At that time I was super happy with my weight loss at the time. 4 months later I was not as thrilled with my weight loss. I was fairly miserable and in the middle of a complete identity crisis. Now 8 months later I feel a lot better about everything.
At this point I am pretty scared about long term success because there is so little support for long term “successful” WLS patients. If you are regaining or never reached goal that is a lot of support but if you are “successful”, it is mostly a pat on the head and “keep doing what you are doing”.
The change from being super morbidly obese to being a “normal” size and under 200 pounds has been very mentally taxing. Like I said there is little support for it. There is little support in the bariatric community because most people never do it and there is virtually no support outside of it because it is a real rarity. I spent a lot of time and money trying to find a therapist that could help and there are basically zero with any experience, so I was left on my own to find my own plan to work it. Which luckily I was able to do. Everyone, even medical professionals (perhaps especially medical professionals) seem to think losing weight solves all your problems and that is really not the case at all. Losing created all kinds of new problems for me that I never even knew existed.
Weight at 1 year post-op 231
Weight at 2 years post-op 186
If I was just going by the scale as a measurement, I would be disappointed right now because I have only lost 45 pounds in the past year and I wanted to be down 50 by now. I stopped eating for weight loss about 5 months ago, and while I am not necessarily trying to eat for maintenance, I am not eating to lose either. In that time period I have still managed to lose 10 pounds. The goal right now is to lose another 15 pounds total over the next year, and hopefully lose another 5 pounds before the end of the year. I could lose it faster if I tried but it is better for my mental health to stay weight stable.
Physically I am already at a size I like. 8/10 is pretty perfect for my height/frame. I am pretty sure with skin removal I will be a 4/6. I have lost a lot of inches, and more interestingly my body shape has changed and adjusted a lot. I have a 34 band and I don’t even think my band size was that small in HS. I can’t ever recall buying anything with a 34 band, so that a huge shock, NSV for me.
Last fall I really wanted skin removal surgery very badly. Now I see that would have been a tremendous mistake. The surgeries I would have picked last year and the results would have been lackluster. I definitely see the advantage of waiting for plastic surgery. Your skin, fat, body distribution changes. The body is amazing thing and watch it repair and rebuild itself is amazing to witness.
I always took a lot of pictures of myself. I have never been camera shy even at my heaviest. Now I take multiple pictures a day as a way to become accustomed to how I look. Pictures and my clothing sizes are my size validation. My face is so different now, the shape is totally different. It has gone from round to square, which requires different makeup application and accessories.

Inch loss
I have lost 65.5 inches total since last year

	Difference
Bust (fullest part of bust):	6
Pecs (just above the bust line):	4
Ribs (top of rib cage just below the bust) :	5.5
Waist:	10
Abdomen:	5
Hips:	8
Right Upper Thigh:	4
Right Lower Thigh:	4
Left Upper Thigh:	4
Left Lower Thigh:	4
Right Calf:	2.5
Left Calf:	2.5
Right Upper Arm:	3
Left Upper Arm:	3
Totals	65.5

I have so many NSV almost daily it is impossible to list them all. I appreciate the wonder and amazement of what I can do now. In some ways I look forward to when this is more normalized but I kind of hope it never is so I don’t forget. I love my new sports car, I worked hard for it, and I look great in it. I would have never been able to fit in it comfortably before or get in and out of easily. My lap dog really enjoys my lap now that I really have one. I can fit anywhere and shop anywhere.

My total losses
HW 377
SW 358
CW 186
Size 28/30 at Surgery
Currently 8/10

Thank you for following up and sharing more about your story! I've been aiming for Keto eating as I believe that will be best for me for the long haul.

I'd love to hear more about what is mentally taxing about no longer being morbidly obese. I understand what you said in another post about being in a constant state of flux which is exhausting. And not being able to find a good therapist is frustrating. What are some of the other new problems you've encountered at normal size?

Maybe you can post a picture sometime so we can see what this kind of success looks like!

All the best.