361 Days Later: My Story

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@bigmamaAfrica

I use LoseIt Premium. It is only 29.99 a year compared to the $49-69 other apps are asking.

Edited August 17, 2016 by OutsideMatchInside

[bigmamaAfrica 49]

Thank you!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

Now that I am under 200lbs, I wanted to add an update to this.

I started with a BMI of 60 and now my BMI is 33 ish. I never really thought I would get this far. When I started I thought 250 ish was the best I would be able to do. I am not even 18 months and I have lost 171 pounds from my highest weight.

I wasn't really prepared for all the changes massive weight loss brings and I am not sure anyone can be.I knew I was going to have to part with my clothes, but I wasn't really prepared for it. I love clothes, I had to part with all my clothes and all my shoes, even the awesome stuff, that hurt. I keep buying cute things, only to lose and they don't fit anymore. Jeans only last me 2-6 weeks in the past year. Even if I don't go down a size, my shape changes and I have to buy a different cut/style. I know all the jean brands. I buy things and some of the time I am lucky to wear them one time. I have lost 2 shoe sizes, and some of the shoes I bought earlier this year are too big

I used to wear a 28/30 and now I wear a 10 in expensive clothes, and a 12/14 in cheap clothes. I wear medium tops, large if they don't have stretch because boobs. I used to be a 50DD and now I am a 36DDD/F/G depending on the bra. My waist is a 31 down from 66, my hips are 43 down from 70.

I am very squishy. I have a lot of loose skin. I was over 300 pounds for almost 20 years. Even though I am not that old, carry that weight too a toll on my body and I never had great skin elasticity anyway. Lots of stretch marks from an early age, just from growing not being fat.

I won't lie, I am having a hard time adjusting to my new body even though I love it. It is a major change. I love all the energy, I love all the things I can do. I hate the skin. I love/hate having to buy new clothes all the time. And even though I hate the skin, it is totally worth it. I would still rather have this skin than be 370 pounds.

I continue to eat the same way, and I enjoy how I eat so I don't see that changing. At this point I am physically small enough for my tastes pre plastic surgery. I am still hoping to lose a little more, so I am at a good BMI for surgery, but I'm happy with my size.

I love my sleeve and how it helped me get a handle on my eating and because the person I always knew I could be.

[highfunctioningfatman 2,675]

This is awesome! I'd missed your story previously. Congratulations!

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

Today I am 24 month, 2 years post-op. I just went back today to read what I posed a year ago. At that time I was super happy with my weight loss at the time. 4 months later I was not as thrilled with my weight loss. I was fairly miserable and in the middle of a complete identity crisis. Now 8 months later I feel a lot better about everything.

At this point I am pretty scared about long term success because there is so little support for long term “successful” WLS patients. If you are regaining or never reached goal that is a lot of support but if you are “successful”, it is mostly a pat on the head and “keep doing what you are doing”.

The change from being super morbidly obese to being a “normal” size and under 200 pounds has been very mentally taxing. Like I said there is little support for it. There is little support in the bariatric community because most people never do it and there is virtually no support outside of it because it is a real rarity. I spent a lot of time and money trying to find a therapist that could help and there are basically zero with any experience, so I was left on my own to find my own plan to work it. Which luckily I was able to do. Everyone, even medical professionals (perhaps especially medical professionals) seem to think losing weight solves all your problems and that is really not the case at all. Losing created all kinds of new problems for me that I never even knew existed.

Weight at 1 year post-op 231

Weight at 2 years post-op 186

If I was just going by the scale as a measurement, I would be disappointed right now because I have only lost 45 pounds in the past year and I wanted to be down 50 by now. I stopped eating for weight loss about 5 months ago, and while I am not necessarily trying to eat for maintenance, I am not eating to lose either. In that time period I have still managed to lose 10 pounds. The goal right now is to lose another 15 pounds total over the next year, and hopefully lose another 5 pounds before the end of the year. I could lose it faster if I tried but it is better for my mental health to stay weight stable.

Physically I am already at a size I like. 8/10 is pretty perfect for my height/frame. I am pretty sure with skin removal I will be a 4/6. I have lost a lot of inches, and more interestingly my body shape has changed and adjusted a lot. I have a 34 band and I don’t even think my band size was that small in HS. I can’t ever recall buying anything with a 34 band, so that a huge shock, NSV for me.

Last fall I really wanted skin removal surgery very badly. Now I see that would have been a tremendous mistake. The surgeries I would have picked last year and the results would have been lackluster. I definitely see the advantage of waiting for plastic surgery. Your skin, fat, body distribution changes. The body is amazing thing and watch it repair and rebuild itself is amazing to witness.

I always took a lot of pictures of myself. I have never been camera shy even at my heaviest. Now I take multiple pictures a day as a way to become accustomed to how I look. Pictures and my clothing sizes are my size validation. My face is so different now, the shape is totally different. It has gone from round to square, which requires different makeup application and accessories.

Inch loss

I have lost 65.5 inches total since last year

	Difference
Bust (fullest part of bust):	6
Pecs (just above the bust line):	4
Ribs (top of rib cage just below the bust) :	5.5
Waist:	10
Abdomen:	5
Hips:	8
Right Upper Thigh:	4
Right Lower Thigh:	4
Left Upper Thigh:	4
Left Lower Thigh:	4
Right Calf:	2.5
Left Calf:	2.5
Right Upper Arm:	3
Left Upper Arm:	3
Totals	65.5

I have so many NSV almost daily it is impossible to list them all. I appreciate the wonder and amazement of what I can do now. In some ways I look forward to when this is more normalized but I kind of hope it never is so I don’t forget. I love my new sports car, I worked hard for it, and I look great in it. I would have never been able to fit in it comfortably before or get in and out of easily. My lap dog really enjoys my lap now that I really have one. I can fit anywhere and shop anywhere.

My total losses

HW 377

SW 358

CW 186

Size 28/30 at Surgery

Currently 8/10

Measurements	Difference
Bust (fullest part of bust):	26
Pecs (just above the bust line):	19
Ribs (top of rib cage just below the bust) :	26.5
Waist:	35.5
Abdomen:	28
Hips:	25
Right Upper Thigh:	12.5
Right Lower Thigh:	13.5
Left Upper Thigh:	12
Left Lower Thigh:	12.5
Right Calf:	4
Left Calf:	4.25
Right Upper Arm:	9
Left Upper Arm:	8.5
Totals	236.25

[Julie norton 2,850]

Great job. I enjoy your posts because they are so real!
Yes there is a lot of hoopla in the beginning and not much fanfare at maintenance ....
Just us vets here going through every day trying to manage our life without defaulting to our old nemesis: food.< br>I applaud all your hard work and please keep posting about it!

[Dashofpixiedust8 1,469]

Congratulations @OutsideMatchInside You have done AMAZING! I am struggling with my new body and I appreciate your insights. It is such a crazy thing we all go through with this and you are a shining success story. I always appreciate your input on this site. I know you help me and many others. Keep succeeding and being amazing!

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@Dashofpixiedust8

Last fall my life felt like Freaky Friday. I felt like I had been transplanted to this foreign body and I really struggled to get use to it. My center of gravity was off. All the stores that I shopped at for years, I didn't fit the clothes. My shape was completely different.

I'm still dealing with changes since my face shape is completely different. I am relearning my makeup application. I need different earrings, I have to style my hair differently.

It is a lot to deal with and I never really see people talking about it.

[Joann454 1,329]

[mention=293999]Dashofpixiedust8[/mention]
Last fall my life felt like Freaky Friday. I felt like I had been transplanted to this foreign body and I really struggled to get use to it. My center of gravity was off. All the stores that I shopped at for years, I didn't fit the clothes. My shape was completely different.
I'm still dealing with changes since my face shape is completely different. I am relearning my makeup application. I need different earrings, I have to style my hair differently.
It is a lot to deal with and I never really see people talking about it.

Do you enjoy these changes? I know change is difficult and to me it sounds exciting to try new hair, earrings, etc but I can see it being disarming too.
Congrats. I enjoy your posts.

[Sweet as peaches 759]

I enjoy your post as well. Mainly, because when i first came to this site most weight were from people who were in the 200's or close to 300 which I found unrelated to my journey. I wanted to identify with someone who had my weight or close to it. I search before and after pics but only a few stuck out. Then I saw your post and a few others which I checked out profiles and to my amazement I decided to follow you and a few others. @OutsideMatchInside thank you for your inspiration.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

9 hours ago, Joann454 said:

Do you enjoy these changes? I know change is difficult and to me it sounds exciting to try new hair, earrings, etc but I can see it being disarming too.
Congrats. I enjoy your posts.

I enjoy them but they can be overwhelming. If you are used to and comfortable with your body and it is suddenly totally different, it is hard to adapt.

Most of my weight loss did not create a dramatic change. Since I was so over weight I had to lose about 140 pounds before I was at the bottom of plus sizes and the top of regular sizes. Then every 5 pounds after that brought a lot of change and finally being under 200 my face went from just being smaller to completely chiseled. My cheekbones are different. My face went from round to a square oval. I am still adjusting to my face every day.

It is fun some of the time or even most of the time but completely replacing basically everything that touches your body and dressing an entirely new body is a lot to deal with and there isn't exactly a guide to it. Luckily I work in fashion and understand clothing and dressing for your body type. Still with massive weight loss your body type changes and adjusts even at the same weight. I still feel like I am in a constant state of flux and I just want some stability.

[IveGotThePower 395]

Thank you for posting your truly amazing story in such detail. Some of your points really resonate with me. I felt the same way about being willing to die on the operating table. It was a calculated risk we took. I also feel like this whole process is a mind f@#$. Just wrapping your mind around all the changes is a challenge in and of itself. I also find myself feeling like I still have so much to learn and still looking for answers on how to maintain or loose a little more. You brought up a point that the body is an amazing and wonderful thing and that you were glad you didn't have plastics. I wondered if time made a lot of difference in how the skin bounces back. So, you are no longer considering plastics?

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@IveGotThePower

I am definitely still having plastics, but not until at least 3 years post-op, maybe closer to 4. My body keeps adjusting and I do really want to have at least one year of stable weight. Your body really does change a lot if you let it do its thing.

[Apple1 2,572]

Your story is very inspiring. Congrats on your great success!!

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

@OutsideMatchInside I applaud your success and cheer you on for your final goal. You worked at discovering how to succeed for your body and mind. I hope the rest of us discover our paths and follow it as well as you did.