I think I need a good kick in the a$$...

[CHM 1,009]

Alright, so...

It seems that I rather suck at eating. I was fortunate enough to have my appetite and hunger return a mere 6 weeks after surgery, so getting appropriate nourishment hadn't been much of a struggle from that time until recently. Somewhere around 4-6 weeks ago, my appetite and most of my physical hunger (barring perhaps the middle of the night or first thing in the morning) seem to have just switched off. Since then, hitting my goals has become quite the battle. This morning I poured over my MFP entries to average out my calories and Protein for the past month, and it came out to 687 calories (current goal range is 900-1100) and 68g Protein (surgeon's goal range is 75-113g, my personal minimum is 90g). And if I'm being entirely honest with myself, several of those days were 'padded' a little. Not deliberately - just things like recording a Protein Bar but only finishing half, recording a snack I intend to eat at work but forgetting, things like that.

I know that I shouldn't be consuming so few calories at this stage, and that getting my protein in should be my top priority. I know that I need to suck it up and eat whether I like it or not. I know that eating when you don't want to is no walk in the park for anyone. But I feel that I am having a particularly difficult time with it. I've no problem with the timing - its not that I'm just getting busy and forgetting that its time to eat (okay maybe a few times, but its not the main issue), so setting an alarm won't help much. The problem is that if I don't feel like eating, then not only do I flat out not WANT to, but I am physically averse to doing so. The thought of it turns my stomach. Having food in my mouth can trigger my gag reflex. Swallowing becomes very difficult. I instantly feel 'full' and like I'm stuffing every bite. Now there is nothing physically wrong with me, as I can eat just fine when I actually want to.

I really don't know what the problem is. Full disclosure: I do have a notable history with eating disorders (nothing threat-of-hospital-worthy since my late teens, however I've had more minor relapses as recently as 2010), but I truly don't believe that's what's going here. An eating disorder involves a certain mentality that simply isn't present right now...not to mention that I've grown too old for that sh*t. I don't know if its the summer heat, the upset of my recent move, working for the first time in a decade, having to share a house...whatever. I don't want to make excuses. I've been considering returning to a liquid diet for a week or so to see if the absence of solid food will re-trigger my hunger/desire for it. Does anyone think that might work? I'm quite certain I'm not the only one in the history of WLS who has struggled with this. If you are one of them, what has worked for you? How have you been able to get passed this? Does anyone have any suggestions? Harsh words are as welcome as supportive ones here - I know that I'm totally f*cking myself over right now.

I'm going to end with a few stats and tidbits so no one is forced to dig around in my profile or past posts for relevant information if they don't want to:

• Gastric bypass on 25 Jan 2016 (5.5 months post-op)
• Pre-op loss = 86 lbs, Post-op loss = 64 lbs (month 1: 26 lbs, month 2: 13 lbs, month 3: 9.5 lbs, month 4: 10 lbs, month 5: 3.5 lbs, month 6: 2 lbs so far)
• Age 35, 5'7", 205 lbs, goal 170 lbs
• I currently have NO medical team due to my recent move to Canada, so consulting my surgeon/nut/psych is not an option. I must fulfill a 3 month residency requirement to qualify for insurance here, then I can get a referral to a new team for further care (paying out of pocket is not possible for me at this time).
• The vast majority of days still include adequte Fluid intake and Vitamin supplementation

Thank you in advance to anyone who takes the time to read my novelette and reply to it.

[AvaFern 3,516]

I have a lot of days where I have no interest in food and if anything I am very appreciative for that because it keeps me thin. If you're consistently getting in over 600 calories, and you're not underweight, enjoy the honeymoon period when you don't like food. Your appetite comes back and then it makes it really hard to lose the last bit of weight. If you take advantage of the few months you have where food grosses you out a little, you can use that to get to goal, and by the time you are there, there's a good chance you will actually like food again and you can focus on maintenance. Your monthly losses are fairly normal and if you are getting adequate Fluid and Vitamins, then focus on protein- even if it is in liquid form.

A year from now you will likely wish you had no interest in eating and it is a whole lot easier to manage an appetite when you aren't still trying to lose weight. I have days where I want to eat half my pantry, and days where I choke down a few crackers and I have otherwise no interest in eating. They balance out so that on average I get right about the amount of calories and nutrients I should be eating.

If you are sincerely concerned that something is wrong, ignore me- but just from my perspective, you aren't losing an excessive amount of weight, you're still above goal, and if you're not dehydrated or nutrient deficient, medically you are fine in the short term and can use this to your advantage.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I am with @@AvaFern

I went through a period of time when I treated food like medicine. I met Protein goals, took Vitamins, lost weight. My appetitie returned soon enough!!!

[James Marusek 5,244]

I agree with @AvaFern. Focus on meeting your Protein requirements. The calorie requirements are less important at your stage.

Adding one more Protein shake a day. As an example using the brand of powder that I used Muscle Milk Light [vanilla Creme] would add 210 calories, 25 grams of Protein, and 16 ounces of Fluid to your diet. That would put you right where you need to be across the board.

[Christinamo7 4,042]

the life change can certainly do it for you. I have had recent stress in my life and for the first time post sleeve I have to remind myself to eat and drink. The night before I came back to work I decided I needed to pull myself up by the bootstraps and act like a normal (post WLS) person. I ate my normal (baby size) dinner. waited almost the full 30 minutes to drink, and wanted to finish the last of my Vitamin Water zero before going to bed. big mistake. sick, very sick, for the first time since surgery. I now know what the foamies are. YUK. and I know that it is painful to vomit post sleeve.

so now, I go easier on myself. try to meet fluids first, Protein second and just doing the best I can. Hopefully as you get further out from these life changes your appetite will settle and things will be normal. your Vitamins should keep you in good shape if you are not having any trouble with taking them.

please let us know how you're doing.

[CHM 1,009]

Thank you for the replies.

So...I'm NOT doing as bad as I think I am?

Maybe I will just go back to Protein shakes for a bit until I'm consistently hitting my Protein goal. Perhaps then I can keep the balance as I reintroduce normal food one meal at a time. Something to try anyway...

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Never been in your shoes, exactly. So I'm just spit-balling this ....

I realized when I was losing weight that I should be choosing what I ate and drank for a second reason: To restore my health -- because I was pretty unhealthy just before I had WLS.

Maybe you could shift your mental focus toward the "getting healthy" goal for a while. You've lost weight like a house afire. You know you can lose weight. Don't misunderstand -- I'm not saying you should stop doing that. I'm just suggesting that you focus on the nutrition you're getting in and how it will support your body's health.

Does that even make any sense?

[Thecloude1 342]

I hope you find a solution soon! You have done a phenomenal job so far [emoji3][emoji106]...Protein can be such a struggle some days [emoji34]

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@CHM - may I suggest you start evaluating yours self weekly and not daily? We (and you know who you are) can be too hard on ourselves in our daily self talk. Weekly goals and targets seems to work better for me. There are those days. And look this week, I have been off in la-la land thanks to a virus. And I know I'm sick, but I was still beating myself up for not getting enough Protein. ;-/ Life and events happen, sometimes you need to do forest management instead of inspecting trees.

[NeedaBreak4Me 1,755]

I would suggest you really try your best to get your calories up.

By having low calories for an extended period of time it will damage your metabolism... and once it is damaged.. as soon as you go above your new RMR you will gain weight... and you already have had the bypass...conversion to other surgeries is limited.

I stupidly stayed on lower calories for 7 years.... and in hindsight i wish i had known that you could damage your metabolism doing so.... this is the reason i had to be sleeved... i was maintaining until my band failed... then once i got above 800 cal.. i gained weight quickly.. and thats eating good clean foods and small portions!

Now because of the metabolic damage i have to be at 800 for life!

Pleased try your best to increase your calories... can you add a healthier Protein rich semi slider food.. just to reach your Protein and calorie goals?

What are your macros like? Are you having small amounts of complex carbs?... reason being is that you might still be in ketosis if you are limiting your carbs.. which when in ketosis it reduces your appetite.. so that could also be contributing.

Edited July 11, 2016 by AussieGirl81

[OzRoo 1,492]

@@CHM

As Christinamo7 mentioned, stress could be the cause. You had lot of major changes in your life recently, and no bariatric support in your new area.

I too am having loads of stress right now, and coped well until my father's major accident, and this put me over the edge.

I too started a new job, and yesterday I cancelled all my shifts as I can't cope with work right now.

My Protein goal is 80g, I am lucky to make 40g and hovering around 500 cals.

Just lost my appetite, and major stress does that to me.

I will be adding my high Protein powder to my drinks and meals. I used to add half a scoop to my yoghurt, but now will add a full scoop to yoghurt and drinks.< /p>

I am diligently taking my Vitamins, and increased my vit C, as I started to feel run down.

I will also see my doctor (not surgeon), as I know I am falling into depression now.

The stress is just overwhelming now.

I wish you well, good luck with your new life, and keep well girl!

Lots of great support here.

Hugs to you xxxx

[Valentina 2,642]

Starting a thread was indeed a good idea, aye?

What wonderful support you have gotten! Sometimes I know it seems like we are the only person in the world to feel some particular way or to hit some private wall. Just knowing that others have hit the same bumps in the road that you have sometimes helps. I hope you are feeling the caring and support that other members (myself included) are sending your way.

My situation is a wee bit different-----I am 5yrs out and still have no appetite at all. I know some would think of not having an appetite would be wonderful. I guess really deep down, I do too. However, I find that I receive very little joy from food anymore. I do not enjoy going out to eat---I'd much rather be doing anything else than sitting at table---not wanting to eat and watching others really enjoying their food.

I know our situations are a bit different. I just wanted to share with you that a loss of appetite is something that you are not alone in experiencing. I hope knowing that helps you a wee bit.

You will work out of this. With all of BP behind you how can you do otherwise??

Stand strong, friend.

[CHM 1,009]

Wow, I've recieved a lot more replies than I was expecting. Thank you so much everyone. Time for some proper replies!

I have a lot of days where I have no interest in food and if anything I am very appreciative for that because it keeps me thin. If you're consistently getting in over 600 calories, and you're not underweight, enjoy the honeymoon period when you don't like food. Your appetite comes back and then it makes it really hard to lose the last bit of weight. If you take advantage of the few months you have where food grosses you out a little, you can use that to get to goal, and by the time you are there, there's a good chance you will actually like food again and you can focus on maintenance. Your monthly losses are fairly normal and if you are getting adequate Fluid and Vitamins, then focus on protein- even if it is in liquid form.

A year from now you will likely wish you had no interest in eating and it is a whole lot easier to manage an appetite when you aren't still trying to lose weight. I have days where I want to eat half my pantry, and days where I choke down a few crackers and I have otherwise no interest in eating. They balance out so that on average I get right about the amount of calories and nutrients I should be eating.

If you are sincerely concerned that something is wrong, ignore me- but just from my perspective, you aren't losing an excessive amount of weight, you're still above goal, and if you're not dehydrated or nutrient deficient, medically you are fine in the short term and can use this to your advantage.

I really appreciate your point of view. I will admit that the promised lack of appetite was one of the things I was looking forward to with surgery, however I quickly learned that without an appetite I simply resist food down to my core, making me quite grateful when it returned. I think what might be throwing me is the fact that I DID have it. I know most people don't get their hunger back for quite some time - even my surgeon's office and nut were surprised by the unusually early return of my physical hunger. If I hadn't, I imagine I would have long adjusted by now and none of this would be an issue.

As for calories, I wouldn't say I am 'consistently' getting over 600. The numbers provided were averages over the last month - I've hit as high as 1065 and as low as 180, and I'm getting more and more low numbers as the days go on. A few weeks ago it was 1 or 2 days a week that were below 600. Now it's 50/50. It's not that I'm 'sincerely concerned'. Its more that I'm spotting a trend that I don't like but don't quite know how to stop.

[CHM 1,009]

I am with @@AvaFern

I went through a period of time when I treated food like medicine. I met Protein goals, took Vitamins, lost weight. My appetitie returned soon enough!!!

'Food like medicine'...probably a good concept!

[CHM 1,009]

I agree with @AvaFern. Focus on meeting your Protein requirements. The calorie requirements are less important at your stage.

Adding one more Protein shake a day. As an example using the brand of powder that I used Muscle Milk Light [vanilla Creme] would add 210 calories, 25 grams of Protein, and 16 ounces of Fluid to your diet. That would put you right where you need to be across the board.

I think I am indeed going to shift the focus back to protein for now.

Personally I feel that the calories requirements matter for me too, however. I'm sure its one of those things that varies from person to person, but when I fall too low I start to feel ill. I'll be fine until I leave for work or an errand, when the little bit of exertion from the walk will make me feel almost like I'm dumping (minus the fun gastrointestinal symptoms) - dizziness, shakiness, weakness, clamminess, nausea, and a strong need to sit down NOW. Calories may not be as important, but for the sake of simple functioning, I do need to figure out how to maintain a certain minimum - and I have yet to pinpoint that number!