Just an Update

[j_war06 0]

Okay, so this is an update on me in a nutshell…

I had taken a short break from college, but now I am going back.

I had moved back to Corpus for about 3 months with a sorority sister, but she ended up being a, well, a bitch and because my name wasn’t on the lease, and I stuck to my responsibilities instead of partying all the time, she kicked me out the day after I paid rent on grounds that were completely false, however I don’t have a leg to stand on in them. I have a boyfriend that Ive been dating for about 2 months that I have had hell with, however he and I are both working on our lives right now. I am back in my hometown trying to get a full-time job and goto school as well as get back in the Theatre. He is in rehab for alcoholism. I asked him to go. He is a great guy, but I cant be with someone that I cant trust with money. Atleast if he bought crap we would have something to show for it. I love him so much, and he is freakishly in love with me, but unless he straightens up his act, I can not be with him. Im diagnosed as pre-bipolar or bipolarish and Im taking trazadone and abilify to help manage that. Im not happy about being home, but its better than being homeless in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:City w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Corpus Christi</st1:place></st1:City>. I actually have a positive outlook right now, which is rare as many of you may know. Im in debt up to my ears, but with the right job I can fix that in a few months. I need a new car and new cellphone, but since I lived a homeless life in Corpus (thanks to my wonderful roomie), and lived very poor because my boyfriend was a bartender/busboy and I was a hostess at a restaurant, we couldn’t afford much after helping our friend that we were staying with out with rent. Ive never lived that way before, it really opened my eyes. Ive almost completely quit drinking myself btw. I finally saw how much money I was wasting just tipping the bartender for free drinks! I still enjoy a couple of drinks every now and then, but as for the every night party I would rather not. As for events coming up……..Im going to school to get my paralegal certificate and Im going to Substitute teach at the schools here until I get a fulltime job. Well that’s my update……….Im open to questions, I know it is kind of brief for my writing lol!

[Mary-2b150 0]

Sounds like your life is on the upswing - goodlluck with everything!

[j_war06 0]

ummm.....Im Pregnant!

[green 6]

The pregnancy part doesn't sound good. What are you going to do about it?

[lala 0]

There are lots of people out there who would love to adopt a baby. My dh and I currently fall into that category. Just something to think about.

[j_war06 0]

Oh I plan on keeping the baby, I just found out Friday night. I havent told my parents yet. My boyfriend and I planned on getting married next year anyway, however this kind of throws a kink in all the plans. I intend on finishing school and everything, its just that Im scared to death!! Im 20 years old! However Im a little excited with the fear

[Betsyjane 2]

OK...so now it's no drinking so you don't effect the fetus..no smoking...no drugs...and read everything you can on childcare. What might also be fun, since you are a writer, is the start a journal to give your baby about all of the experiences you have had and what you've learned. Or maybe first write a journal to yourself about what you've leanred and how you want to parent a baby. At some point, you'll need to tell you child that he or she has an inherited vulnerability to alcoholism or addiction, and should be very cautious about ever drinking or drugging. You'll also have to keep an eye out for evidence of bipolar stuff. Do you have any people in your life who you consider to have awesome parenting skills who can kind of mentor you through this time? Any idea what you'll do with the baby while yotu are in school? Gosh. There's so much to think through, isn't there?

[Kat817 19]

Call and make a prenatal appointment NOW!!! Make sure your new meds are ok. Plus pregnancy can wreak havoc on emotions in a life without the added complications yours has right now. Be open and honest with your Dr. so they can help you through this.

I would also encourage BF to finish up his rehab---let him prove he is going to be a responsible father.

Maybe you should each take what you would spend on a drink each night and begin a small savings account for the child---I bet by the time he/she gets here, you will be shocked how much you have!!!

Good Luck, and congratulations--

Kat

[Betsyjane 2]

Great idea, Kat! Parenting classes with BF might lead to some interesting discussions about how you guys want to raise the little one.

[green 6]

Or you could get rid of it. (Why not give it to lala? She wants one.) Then you can continue on with your academic studies instead of changing diapers and being really strapped for cash. You could also decide whether you want to stay with this boyfriend or trade him in on a better model down the road. Living with a party boy is no fun when you are a 30 year old woman with ambitions and a kid. And this may be your fate a decade from now.

I know my advice may sound harsh but I thought I would toss it at you. You see, I used to be a party girl myself when I was in university. I also had ambitions to travel, and to live a life where I wasn't tied down. I felt that this would be the right choice for me, and it was. My life has been and continues to be interesting. I've also been involved with a number of interesting men after my divorce from my charming and unreliable ex-husband, the musician. All of these guys were upgrades on the first model. All of them have had real careers and many of them have been extremely well educated. The guy with whom I have been living common-law for the past 22+ years is a real doll. He is kind-hearted, generous, hard working, loving, accepting of me, and rock solid. He also loves to travel. :bounce:

And like you, I do suffer from a psychiatric illness - depression in my case, though I had been diagnosed with BPD and as being bi-polar at various times in my past. I have personally never wanted a baby and I sure wasn't mother material. The question I think you have to ask yourself is whether you want this baby at this time in your life? Good luck to you from Green.

[lawanda jessica 0]

I'd have to agree with green.

It is your choice.

Good luck

[j_war06 0]

I WILL NOT GIVE UP MY CHILD! I cant do it! Why should I just give it up when I am the one that caused him/her to come into this world. Its not a mistake, its a godsent miracle. I was supposed to be infertile. What if I gave up my child and thats the last child I could have?? Thats not going to happen. I go to school online, and after thats done I can afford daycare or babysitters. I already have things lined up to be able to do homework until I get my certification. My friend, or mom, or aunt, or grandma, or other grandma/grandpa, is going to keep the baby (in rotation) while I cannot be home with him/her. Since I am a substitute teacher I get discounted daycare too! Also with the baby I will get a Pell Grant to pay for the rest of my college. so all I have to do is just do it. If I run out when things get tough, what does that say for my ability to be a hard hitting lawyer someday. I can not BELIEVE that you would want me to give up my child! I know it sounds selfish, but I created life and I want to watch it grow up. Im 20 years old, there is no reason I cant raise a child. My grandmother did it when she was 15! Would any of you give up your children?? really? Think about that long and hard. I already love this child. My mom and I are planning preparations for him/her already. We arent necessarily planning on the father being that involved. We are not sure if he will ever save the money to come up here to help raise this child. He does not have any family. He was raised in an orphanage his entire life, until he joined the Navy. I dont want to subject my child to feelings of his/her true parents never wanted them and that they are 2nd rate because they were given up for adoption. There are plenty of kids in the system WHO REALLY NEED a good loving home. My child already has that planned for him/her. Why not adopt one already in the system?? My child already has a home full of people who will love him/her, go pick a child whose mother was a crackhead and abandoned him/her at the steps of a hospital or fire department. Please save the children who need it.

[Betsyjane 2]

I don't think she WANTED you to give up your child. She was presenting an option, from her experience.

Glad you're looking forward to your baby and planning for him or her. You're in for some major challenges...... Can you take bipolar meds during pregnancy? Just curious.

[uniqueone 0]

Regarding the bipolar meds...On May 19, 2007 you wrote, "my mother checks my medicine to see if I've taken it and if I have then all hell breaks lose at my house. So therefore it's pointless because she is going to depress me anyway."

I'm not sure it would be responsible to have your mother watch your baby if this is her attitude towards your illness and her blatant disregard for the fact that you are an adult and can take any prescribed medication you want, by law.

Just a thought....

[green 6]

I don't think she WANTED you to give up your child. She was presenting an option, from her experience.

Glad you're looking forward to your baby and planning for him or her. You're in for some major challenges...... Can you take bipolar meds during pregnancy? Just curious.

Yep, just an option. In your earlier posts you didn't seem like you were in this space. I am pleased for you.