Need advice ( off topic )

[biglady904 65]

This has nothing to do with surgery but I have no friends and the people on here have been very nice to me

So, my boyfriend he's 35 he works and is in school but he never has time for me I haven't seen him in a month! Whenever I mention seeing each other and bring up how we never talk he says I'm selfish and need to be patient but it's days where he doesn't even text he never calls I really like him but I feel so alone in this as painful as it is should I just end it ? Because if someone really liked you wouldn't they make an effort to see you ? Or at least hold a conversation?

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[Pinkberry2 128]

Let him go girl. People that really care will FIND TIME to be there for you. He would make you a priority. This is going to be a difficult time for you and having someone who is inconsistant will make it worse. You dont need the stress

Little tia

[Tonya2B Fit 18]

Yea it sounds like you need to just end that relationship. If he cared he would make an effort to at least talk to you or text you.

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[biglady904 65]

Let him go girl. People that really care will FIND TIME to be there for you. He would make you a priority. This is going to be a difficult time for you and having someone who is inconsistant will make it worse. You dont need the stress

Little tia

Thank you both its so hard but I know I need to I'm 27 and this was my first real relationship shame it has to end this way

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[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

@@biglady904, he just isn't available. It tells you what you need to know.

There aren't many ways that relationships end that aren't a shame in one way or another. In the process, however, you've learned something for the next one. That counts.

[AvaFern 3,516]

When you haven't seen him in a month and you live in the same area and he won't text or return your calls, it's time for you to walk away. A man who wants to be with you and considers himself your boyfriend would not act like that and for you to tolerate it any longer just shows him that he can behave however he chooses and you will put up with it. In the time you save no longer wasting time on him, go read the book "Why Men Love B*tches". It's not about being a B, it's about having your own life and making sure that someone doesn't treat you like a back-up plan. It's funny too, but highly accurate. There's also a book "He's Just Not That Into You" which I don't like as much, but it still has some valuable lessons for your situation.

Stop texting him, stop calling him, and give yourself the chance to meet someone who would treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

[biglady904 65]

When you haven't seen him in a month and you live in the same area and he won't text or return your calls, it's time for you to walk away. A man who wants to be with you and considers himself your boyfriend would not act like that and for you to tolerate it any longer just shows him that he can behave however he chooses and you will put up with it. In the time you save no longer wasting time on him, go read the book "Why Men Love B*tches". It's not about being a B, it's about having your own life and making sure that someone doesn't treat you like a back-up plan. It's funny too, but highly accurate. There's also a book "He's Just Not That Into You" which I don't like as much, but it still has some valuable lessons for your situation.

Stop texting him, stop calling him, and give yourself the chance to meet someone who would treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

Thank you I'm thinking of sending him a video message telling him that I can't do it anymore is that a bad idea ? I don't know how to do this I've never broken up with anyone before

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[kmorri 1,689]

@@biglady904 I say there's no reason to "break-up" with him......He's already done it by not coming around for over a month. I would not text, or call, or anything!......just move on with your life. He doesn't deserve another minute of your time!

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

When you haven't seen him in a month and you live in the same area and he won't text or return your calls, it's time for you to walk away. A man who wants to be with you and considers himself your boyfriend would not act like that and for you to tolerate it any longer just shows him that he can behave however he chooses and you will put up with it. In the time you save no longer wasting time on him, go read the book "Why Men Love B*tches". It's not about being a B, it's about having your own life and making sure that someone doesn't treat you like a back-up plan. It's funny too, but highly accurate. There's also a book "He's Just Not That Into You" which I don't like as much, but it still has some valuable lessons for your situation.

Stop texting him, stop calling him, and give yourself the chance to meet someone who would treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

Thank you I'm thinking of sending him a video message telling him that I can't do it anymore is that a bad idea ? I don't know how to do this I've never broken up with anyone before

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Personally, I think in-person is better.

If he doesn't call or return your messages, then quit calling and texting him.

IF HE reaches out to YOU then you can tell him it is not working for you.

In the meantime, you need to start building your own life: volunteer, take a class, go to church, go to the gym, take up a hobby. You need to make some friends so you aren't sitting around waiting on this bozo.

You aren't living together are you?

[chycky 671]

I echo surfer girl's advice. Relationships ending can take you for a loop and I know the feeling of wanting to make a last show or outreach in hopes that the pattern of lackluster response is broken. But he has shown you how important you and your feelings are to him, you can show him how important you are to YOU. By moving on to better things and people. They are out there!

Edited July 9, 2016 by chycky

[fancypants67 162]

My mom gave me some GREAT advice once... And its VERY true... It doesnt matter how wonderful a woman is, if a mans not ready hes not ready and no woman can MAKE him ready. He has to figure that out on his own. You are young, you have TONS of time, dont be with a man that wouldnt swim through shark infested waters to bring you a glass of lemonade! They ARE out there! It took me years but i found one. Take your time, enjoy life...enjoy living...he will come along when youre not even looking.

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[okiegirl1980 73]

Put the phone away and go do something else. Don't waste another moment. Just like the book and movie, "he's just not that into you." Not a bad thing either because there will be someone out there that is really into you and right now you aren't going to run into that man waiting on this one. Chin up you can do this!

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

Thank you I'm thinking of sending him a video message telling him that I can't do it anymore is that a bad idea ? I don't know how to do this I've never broken up with anyone before

Don't do anything. Let him slide. You've initiated many contacts and been hurt each time by the lack of response and the responses you did get. It hurts to say this to you, but to send a video, text, voice or any other contact is groveling to be taken back. You deserve better. "Better" includes holding your head high and that, dear lady, is your job.

You're open to a relationship that's about love, fun, friendship, caring, kindness, sex, loyalty, consideration, blah, blah, blah. There are men who want the same. They're called grown-ups.

[lilmelisa 16]

Sorry to say but you are being strung along it is time to cut him loose. I don't know you but I am sure you can do better. You just have to believe it :-)

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[walkermy 86]

Stop calling, stop texting - he will get the message.