Please help my my lbt friends!!!

beachgirl · August 22, 2007

I feel like I'm in a whirlwind and can't get out. I don't need to complain but it's so bad I feel I'm losing my mind. Don't get me wrong, I'm really excited about some of the things happening in my life it's just it's too many too fast. I started college for the RN program yesterday and I really enjoyed it though there is tons of homework and go to school all day long and I know I've got 2 years more of that but then my daughter is due in 2 weeks with my first grandson and I'm esctatic over that but she has a little 23 month old I watch every minute I'm not working and I love her to death but it can be overwhelming. Then I'm to move in with my daughter and take care of both kids for 2 weeks while she recovers. I did this with the first one and took care of the baby at night so she could sleep and then I have school, and a husband and dogs to take care of. We're building a new home and you know how rough that is and then tonight my son who just lost a baby by miscarriage or I mean his girlfriend, they had they're wedding planned for October in Florida has just informed she's pregnant. I have to go to school, to gym, clean house, babysit, take my daughter to her appointments, my sons girlfriend goes to school with me and I pay for everything for her and she rides with me and my mom has cancer and they think my dad is in early altztimers. Lord, what am I too do. I swear, I feel like I am drowning. Don't get me wrong I love them to pieces but I feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm doing homework now and will until 1 or 2 and get up at 6:00 because I've been helping my son get moved into his new house all day and then my daughter called a few min. ago and said can you come get the 2 yr. old so I can rest tonight and take her to my Mom's in the morning at 6:00 before school.

I know I'm whining but how do you guys deal with so much going on with out losing it. I need your help.

Love you all,

Sherri Jo

bitteroldhag · August 22, 2007

Can you say martyr? You are trying to do too much. Some of these folks should be able to manage for themselves and you must let them. You can't do everything. Believe me, I know. A person can be overwhelmed easily because we try to do too much. Just tell them you can't do everything and get some help. I have a cleaning lady and home health for Mother. It helps a lot. Look for some way to help yourself and don't be a martyr to other people. Sorry if I seem mean, but I know you have to stand up for yourself.

beachgirl · August 24, 2007

No,

Your completely right and I just don't know how to calm down. I know it sounds silly and I've done this to myself. I mean I have spoiled my whole family trying to be the Brady Bunch type mom all my life now I have a husband who I take him his meals to his recliner and is he needs salt I get up and get it, mow my sons and daughter's yard, babysit several days per week, in school, studying, do all the housework, and now I have a grandbaby due in 2 weeks and my son just told us yesterday they're expecting. I am just panicing thinking how will I attend school and keep all of these babies. Don't get me wrong, they're the love of my life but sometimes I feel I raised mine and now my life is on hold to raise they'res.

Thanks for your kind words and I know I've got to do something and fast. I am sure I will make some of them mad but it's affecting my health and I need to do something.

Hugs,

Sherri Jo

Wendell Edwards · August 24, 2007

I feel like I'm in a whirlwind and can't get out. I don't need to complain but it's so bad I feel I'm losing my mind. Don't get me wrong, I'm really excited about some of the things happening in my life it's just it's too many too fast. I started college for the RN program yesterday and I really enjoyed it though there is tons of homework and go to school all day long and I know I've got 2 years more of that but then my daughter is due in 2 weeks with my first grandson and I'm esctatic over that but she has a little 23 month old I watch every minute I'm not working and I love her to death but it can be overwhelming. Then I'm to move in with my daughter and take care of both kids for 2 weeks while she recovers. I did this with the first one and took care of the baby at night so she could sleep and then I have school, and a husband and dogs to take care of. We're building a new home and you know how rough that is and then tonight my son who just lost a baby by miscarriage or I mean his girlfriend, they had they're wedding planned for October in Florida has just informed she's pregnant. I have to go to school, to gym, clean house, babysit, take my daughter to her appointments, my sons girlfriend goes to school with me and I pay for everything for her and she rides with me and my mom has cancer and they think my dad is in early altztimers. Lord, what am I too do. I swear, I feel like I am drowning. Don't get me wrong I love them to pieces but I feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm doing homework now and will until 1 or 2 and get up at 6:00 because I've been helping my son get moved into his new house all day and then my daughter called a few min. ago and said can you come get the 2 yr. old so I can rest tonight and take her to my Mom's in the morning at 6:00 before school.
I know I'm whining but how do you guys deal with so much going on with out losing it. I need your help.

Love you all,

Sherri Jo

First, I let go of the illusion of control.

Once I do that, I turn the stuff that I really cannot do anything about over to God.

Then I prioritize the rest and SCHEDULE THEM.

Then I EXPLICITLY ask other people in my life for help with those things.

And if I can't get everything done, I turn it over to God.

amom · August 24, 2007

I agree with Wendell. I used to try to be super mom but I found when I got sick and ended up in the hospital it was time to quit. I also found I was not doing my kids any good by doing so much for them, they have to learn to stand on their own two feet. Where would they be if something happened to you. You need to stop and look at the big picture. You also need to set aside some time for yourself, I know its hard but you must make the time or you'll burn out. Best of luck

green · August 25, 2007

It sounds like you need to learn how to say no. Afterall, these individuals are all adults, are they not?

Luvbnanurse · August 25, 2007

I just started nursing school too and I know what you mean, but I went to a workshop on master students and one of the first things the teacher said was you have to sit down with your family and tell them "I will now be in school and I will not have time for anything else" They will be fine, it is something you have to do for you. If they get mad, so be it, they will get over it. Just say no, you can't do it all and pass school, good luck in school !

beachgirl · August 25, 2007

Your all right for sure. I kept my granddaugher yesterday and all day today and knew I have my first huge test Monday. They all wanted to grill allday tomorrow and just have a big family thing. Although I wanted to so bad I knew that I had a lot of abbreviations to memorize and definitions and a big test and I would love to be with everyone I told them to go ahead without me. They all pouted up and called me a party pooper but like you said, they'll get over it.

One other thing I've noticed. I've not had my eyes checked since I was 6 because they've been perfect. I mean my husband has always said I wished I had your eyes. Even on the test for your license's they've always been perfect. I noticed last month when I took my motorcycle's permit test the first time she gave it I failed it and she said let me give you another try because it was hot and I was sweating and I barely passed it. Since school and studying I've had severe and I mean severe headaches everytime I study or look at the books. All weekend long they've been horrible and unless I hold the book way out it's blurry. I know, I'm old and 43 now and need an eyetest which I will do on Monday but it scares me to death to think my vision is going bad.

Hope everyone has a great week and thanks for all your help.

Hugs,

Sherri Jo

Luvbnanurse · August 25, 2007

I have had the same problem with my eyes, I am old too,lol I just turned 45 the other day. I never have a problem with my eyes but the eye strain from reading all the time is giving me terrible headaches too, I have started wearing reading glasses but they are hard to get used to as long as I keep my eyes on the book I am fine but cant look away too fast or I feel drunk. I have a new grandbaby too and I was keeping her everyday before school started but now there is no way I have to be able to concentrate and a baby in the room isnt going to work. The stress of school is hard enough, iof you take on too much you will crash and burn, you raised your kids let them raise theirs is my way of thinking, I love to keep her but I have to pass or lose my scholarship so I gotta take care of me. Hope everything gets better for you but you have to make that happen.

Marimaru · August 26, 2007

"I am just panicing thinking how will I attend school and keep all of these babies."

This is the phrase that really got my attention. These aren't your babies. I know they are your babies' babies, but that doesn't put ANY responsibility on you that you don't ask for. I have a niece and a nephew both under a year (2 younger sisters, 2 babies), and my mom is very careful to not get herself into a position where my sisters HAVE to rely on her. Mom loves them and babysits often, but she is asked before each time and it is planned in advance.

I think it is WAY above and beyond the call of motherhood that you are staying with your daughter for 2 weeks after the next baby is born. Obviously this has been planned for a while and you probably don't want to back out on it, but now would be a good time to prep everyone for the idea that you aren't baby central! And your hubby can be retrained to fix his plate and get his salt :huggie:. I do stuff like that for my husband often, but not enough that it becomes a 'rule'.

Most importantly, make time for bubble baths and deep breaths whenever you can.