Feeling pretty overwhelmed

[Christinamo7 4,042]

I was more afraid of the obesity and what it was doing to my life than I was of the possible changes with surgery. then I knew I was ready.

[KM16 8]

It helped me a lot to read other people's experiences, so in case it may be helpful for you... here's a blog post I wrote and a video about why I made this decision.

http://becomingmandikaye.com/2016/05/26/changing-my-life/

Good luck to you!

Wow..your blog and video are so so inspiring. I feel like you spoke words that I've either been too afraid or at a loss to say. Thank you for having the courage to share your journey so that those of us feeling that way, who are scared and feeling hopeless let us know were not alone and that there is light out there somewhere.

I'm gaining so much knowledge and perspective. Thanks again and good luck to you.

[CelesteMarie 129]

Read 'The Obesity Code' . Someone on here suggested it and I am reading it now. Trust me, I don't believe everything I read, or hear, but I use my own logic to decipher whether or not something makes sense. Being obese (30+ bmi) doesn't mean we are lazy, or have no will power, it all has to do with our makeup genetically and environment. Not saying that some of us AREN'T lazy (me at times) or that we don't overeat (I did that A LOT in my life before the sleeve) it's just another perspective of why some people are obese or have problems dropping weight, etc. It's not that hard to drop the weight on a fad or otherwise diet, the problem is keeping it off.

I always said I would never get weight loss surgery because the problem is mental, not physical. I too thought it was the "easy way out". Lo and behold, here I am 2 months out from the sleeve. I did it mostly for my diabetes control but I definitely need to lose weight too, and diet and exercise just didn't work long term for me. I was 277 day of surgery. A month later I was 248. I don't weigh at home, only at doctor, so I don't know how much more I lost, but I do know that I feel MUCH better and that my sugar is under control.

The only thing is, I wish I would have done this at your age instead of thinking I could do it on my own. I have a ton of journals I started whenever I started a "new plan". I would do well for a while then I would gain back plus. Oh, and it's not easy for sure. I did a lot of mental preparation. That was hard. Good luck!

Good things come to good people.

[goplay94123 575]

I wish I would have started earlier - what helped me were the pros and cons list - and reading "the emotional first aid kit" which was recommended to me - I also attended a seminar by the surgeon I ultimately decided to go with - The frst half was about the different types, pros and cons - and the second half was his monthly support group and it was helpful to listen to his patients - that may not be something offered in your area - but it wouldn't hurt to check. Just like with everything in life- knowledge is power - and i wish you luck-no matter the path you take - as long as that path leads you to better health if that is what your end goal is!

Edited July 8, 2016 by goplay94123

[jessjames 234]

It helped me a lot to read other people's experiences, so in case it may be helpful for you... here's a blog post I wrote and a video about why I made this decision.

http://becomingmandikaye.com/2016/05/26/changing-my-life/

Good luck to you!

I watched your video too! Even though I'm post op (7 weeks) I still find myself fascinated with people and their own individual stories.. So glad you managed to get approved with your insurance! I'll be favouriting your blog and catching up on your updates hehe

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[anniebanana 167]

It is such a personal decision, nobody can really help someone else decide. It definitely helps hearing stories and using that information and other research to decide if you are at a point where it's your best option for a healthy life. You had some really good responses on here. I think if I was your age, it would be difficult for me to conclude that this is the best solution, but at 51 I have definitely started seeing (feeling) the toll of the excess weight on my body. I think we are all emotional eaters...I just think the driving emotion is different for us all. I committed to surgery in 2011 and, after jumping through all the hoops, I freaked out when I got final approval and decided to do it on my own. I hired a personal trainer and worked out 10 hours every week and managed to lose 72 pounds in about 6 months. I was still about 50 pounds over my goal weight when I broke 3 toes on one foot which impacted my ability to do cardio, and the weight came back so fast that i didn't even see it happen. It was devastating. I felt I had dodged a bullet by losing on my own. I felt I had found the "secret." Unfortunately, the secret is unrelenting drive and determination that lasts FOREVER. Sometimes life happens and it prevents you from doing what you need to do, and that's what happened to me. I was unable to work out and didn't even see or feel how fast the weight was piling back on my body. Why don't you just try eliminating everything from your diet that a bariatric patient has to, and make appointments with someone who counsels people with food addictions, and see if you are able to turn things around before jumping in to a bariatric solution? And you have to stay dedicated to it....there's no wiggle room once you go through with surgery, so get your head in the right place now and see what happens? Good luck!

[shawnv1 14]

I understand where you're coming from. I've been having problems with my weight for pretty much my whole adult life. I have three children that I love very much. My surgery date is 7/19/16. Man, I'm really getting nervous. I've been contemplating on getting this surgery for over a decade, and now its right in view. This is a major decision because its life changing. I think sometimes we can get stuck on thinking what were losing, and not enough on what were gaining. Life has been pretty restrictive being over weight, and not just to me, but for my children and family in general. I'm going to pray and keep pushing. I look forward to a new life!!

[anniebanana 167]

@@shawnv1 The closer I got, the more I questioned my decision. I am 4 days post op right now and I feel like I made the best decision for me. I think I will ALWAYS wonder if there wasn't some other solution out there that I hadn't tried in my 51 years. Every time a new book comes out with a new diet that is a "game changer," I will wonder if it would have worked for me if I had just waited long enough. Meanwhile, life passes you by as a fat person who can't engage in life. How long is too long to wait to make a change to improve your health, particularly when it's right there for you now?

[Shaunie 123]

Anniebanana, we had surgery the same day. How are you doing?

Sent from my SGH-T999L using the BariatricPal App

[Alex Brecher 10,512]

@@KM16,

WLS definitely is not the “easy way out,” so don’t let that affect your decision either way. Believe me, you will work hard for every pound you lose.

As to whether you know if WLS is right for you…have you tried pretty much every diet and given it 100% effort? And, are you ready to commit to the WLS diet not for a few months, not until you hit goal weight, but for life? Another 40 or 50 or 60 years? Because, as I said, WLS is not the “easy way out!” If you’re not ready to do the work, there’s no point in going through the surgery and rearranging your insides because it won’t work for you.

You mentioned being an emotional eater. Have you tried to work on that, such as with behavior change or therapy? WLS won’t fix your emotions or problems, so it is important to have another way to handle problems besides eating.

So, I guess you have to look within yourself – have you tried everything else, and are you ready to commit – and then look at the pros and cons – how much weight loss can you expect, and what are the chances of complications? And talk to one or many surgeons.

I would also ask about the patients you mentioned who have had tons of complications. You may not know the answer to this, but do you know whether they followed the pre-op and post-op instructions to the letter? Some patients blow them off thinking they don’t matter, and pay the price.

Good luck! It’s a tough decision. I think you are looking at it properly from an age perspective – if WLS is for you, there’s no reason to wait and let things get even more out of hand.

[melvin5ft2 56]

I was more afraid of the obesity and what it was doing to my life than I was of the possible changes with surgery. then I knew I was ready.

I agree Christinamo7. I've suffered as a result of decades of overweight. I've tried to diet and exercise the weight off but only got so far. Eventually, I destroyed my knees and now it is painful to walk. I cannot jump or even hop. Exercise is very difficult and I'm told I need to have both my knees replaced. My knee doctor told me that I am not a good candidate for knee replacement surgery and that I should see a bariatric surgeon and get the weight off before knee replacement. That started my investigation. I knew people who'd had bariatric surgery, so I knew it wasn't a walk in the park, but also knew that it worked. I second guessed myself for some time, but I've thought long and hard enough about this. I'm 51 and my knees are shot. My body is highly resistant to weight loss. I've done some very low calorie dieting, I think I've done almost every program you can think of. This is my best chance and I've missed too much life to continue going down the same road. I have to say that I won't have some of the same complaints I've seen. I don't have a problem not going out drinking or partying. I just want to replace my knees and become mobile again, especially for my family. I think it boils down to the main reasons you want to do it as to whether or not its the right time for you to make a real commitment to this new reality.

[anniebanana 167]

@@Shaunie I'm doing pretty good, still trying to figure this whole thing out. I definitely am overdoing it physically at times because we just moved into our dream house and I just want to unpack and make it my own, but I just don't want to cause problems with my incisions and new stomach. From what I gather, everyone has different post op eating instructions. Mine is to get in 56 ounces of Fluid and 30g Protein. I am really limited on my eating to broth, pureed Soup (non cream based) and yogurt. The yogurt...whoa, I feel it going down into my stomach, not a great feeling yet! How about you, how are you?

[KristenLe 5,979]

I've struggled with my weight for most if my life. I always kinda thought having something like weight loss surgery would mean taking the easy way out. It also scares me when I see people who have had the surgery and they seem to completely change; I don't want to be that person. Ive also seen people who have the surgery end up looking like the walking dead after, not only through their appearance, but they literally are sick all the time and have numerous complications.

I've tried to diet, though honesltly, probably not as seriously as I could, for years. I have an under active thyroid, as well as PCOS, both of which make it extremely difficult for me to lose weight. I know im not the most active that I could be, but I'm not lazy by any means. Likewise with my eating habits, I don't eat as well as I could, but I definitely don't have the worst eating habits. I am certainly an emotional eater at times..

My question is how do you even know this is right for you? As I sit here staring down the face of my 30th birthday next month, I can't help but wonder if this is something I need to do. I don't want to sit here another decade and kid myself into thinking I can do this on my own, worrying that the older I get, knowing the damage I've done to my body will most definitely catch up to me eventually...but at the same time I feel like I should try harder to do it on my own, even though in the back of my mind I am fairly certain I won't be able to.

I'm just very conflicted and overwhelmed with where I would even begin, should I decide this is something I may want to do.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

KM-

I was you...18 years ago! I now add hypertension, sleep apnea, prediabetes, high cholesterol, high triglycerides, arthritis, degenerative disc disease, and a few other obesity related issues to my "problem list". My life could have been much different had I had surgery at 30 years old. I may have been lucky enough to be a mother (something that won't happen now). Do a lot of research, go to an informational session at a Bariatric Center and start changing your eating habits. Most importantly - get therapy for the emotional eating! I saw a psychologist through my Bariatric Program about mine and feel it helped (I'm still pre-surgery). Good luck!

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

How do you know if it is for you? Ask questions and do your research.

Make a list.

List what benefits there are to not having surgery.

List what benefits there are to having surgery.

List the drawbacks/risks of not having surgery.

List the drawbacks/risk of having surgery.

List what your life is like now.

List what you want your life to be like.

Compare those lists.

Totally agree with this advice.

Some more questions you should ask yourself:

- How long have you been struggling with the weight?

- How many times have you tried to lose it?

- Have you previously had success with a diet/exercise/lifestyle change that you think will give you the results you want if you put your mind to it?

- What is keeping you from making lifestyle changes to getting healthier (no judgment! this is just a point worth being honest with yourself about)

Personally, I never thought I'd have WLS. I don't know anyone who's had it and always thought it was for 'other people'. I spent 10 years going on and off diets and exercise programs while the result was my actually getting heavier every single year. WLS sounded really drastic and at 34 years old and 244lbs, I thought I was just the right diet away from losing the weight and keeping it off. Finally earlier this year, I decided to stop kidding myself and take the step. I'm only 2+ weeks out but truly feel it's the best thing I could have ever done for myself.

(Apologies if this sounds like I'm advocating for WLS (well, I am, but only based on my own personal experience). Ultimately it's about you being honest with yourself and exploring other options before you decide to go down this road.

I appreciate your response! These are all very good questions that im currently asking myself. I've got a little journal going and everything. Its been difficult for me to be completely honest with myself. I'm my own worst critic. I have tried to diet and lose weight so many times but I have no discipline. I get obsessed with it for no longer than a week or two, then i end up binge eating and feel like my progress has been sabotaged.

I also get frustrated because I know I have medical conditions that aren't on my side when it comes to weight loss. Its a lifestyle change that I just can't seem to grasp. For 30 years food has been a major part of my life; when I'm happy, sad, bored, anxious...I've always eaten. I know this weight didn't creep up over night and I know I won't be able to lose it overnight, so I worry that in my mind I think that's what surgery will do, be my fix all...I'm just scared to take the leap of faith I guess.

Everyone has been so kind and insightful.

Congrats on your progress; I hope your journey continues pleasantly for you! Thanks again.

One key to my success so far is that I finally decided to be rigorously ho eat with myself and my medical team. I don't have to share all of my business with anyone else, but being honest with myself and those I want to help me is critical.

[Shaunie 123]

@@anniebanana, I'm glad your doing well!! I'm doing better then I thought. I feel very little pain from the surgery itself. I have another week of liquids then purees whoohoo!!!! I have two children to take care of all day so I hear ya about the over doing it. I haven't really seen a loss yet. Trying to stay of the scale. Mt requirements have me putting down atleast 60g of Protein which some days have been a mission and 48oz of fluids.I find the meds they put you on are aweful

My first follow up Tuesday I'm looking forward to seeing what the scale says

I'm concerned I haven't passed my bowel yet not sure how long it takes?

Congrats on your progress and your Dream home!