Facing Reality

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@Daisee68

Girl that is what long leg Spanx are for.

[waterwoman 179]

@@Daisee68, Thank you for sharing the pics - you look beautiful!

You say in your post that you don't really identify with either the heavier or slimmer you.

May I ask, when did you last identify with your body?

I, too, am struggling with this.

Thanks for the help.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@Daisee68 - Wow. Just freakin wow.

I will never fully understand women and their dysmorphic body image views, (I know, it is what it is, and your sex worries about everything)....but wow, freaking wow.

OK, putting tongue back in mouth now, and I'll quit gawking. You seriously look fantastic.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

. I just cannot grasp how different I looked before.

And PS thanks to all here for making this a safe place to post these and my thoughts!

Maybe you didn't really look before? That's not uncommon at all. We human creatures have a great talent for avoidance.

If anyone tries to bug you, send 'em this way.

[Daisee68 2,493]

@@OKCPirate - Wow, thanks! Having been so overweight all my life, I have not gotten attention for the most part. I have gotten a lot of "you have such a pretty face...." comments in my lifetime. (Note to guys - DON'T say that to an overweight woman....) Your comments are much appreciated!

@@waterwoman - That is a good question! I am not sure if I ever really did identify with my body. I have been overweight my whole life - starting around age 11 or 12. At age 17 I lost about 50 pounds by literally starving myself and even then, I thought I looked odd. Skinny mind you but still odd.... Of course I immediately gained that weight back. I was a senior in high school. And I even remember asking my best friend (who happened to be male) at that time if he really thought I was really big before I lost weight. He said I had a big butt. (Should see my butt now - non-existent!) Anyway, when I started losing weight because I was "overweight" at that time, I weighed 200 pounds. I got down to 150. I am 5'10" (and was then) and NOW I realize that 200 wasn't actually THAT heavy! If only I had realized that then perhaps I wouldn't have the struggle I have now. At 200 pounds this time around, I was THIN! At 170, I really feel thin - in fact, my shoulders are a bit bony. I expect that after plastics, I may actually have to gain a little weight. I DREAD the thought of looking too thin. (How odd is that?) Rest assured, I am still seeing a therapist and body image is something we work on every time. I don't have the answers for you - yet . If I find them, I will come back and let you know. Dealing with it and not avoiding it is probably helpful - which is why I started the post - trying to really see the side by side comparison...

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Oh, Daisee! You're going to get compliments anyway. You are a stunner, my dear! And that gorgeous hair of yours. What a great color.

Interestingly, you look pretty much the way I've always imagined you look. Maybe it's the "Daisee" name and your beautiful smile.

I bet if we had a group photo taken, it would be absolutely gorgeous of us all -- whether we're at goal yet or not.

The combined inner and outer beauty of the people I've met here in this virtual room feels pretty staggering. Thanks to all of you who have posted your pix.

I'm still on the down-low, so won't post my photos. But I am so pleased with how my looks have changed for the better in the last few years. It's been pretty amazing. Yes, I know we've all made much of our own good luck, but aren't we lucky people!

EDIT: P.S. I honestly do NOT think you do look too thin. These new looks of ours take a while to get used to.

[gowalking 10,790]

I too have and am going through body dysmorphia. I did not realize till I looked at pictures of myself, just how large I was. Nor did I recognize the thin woman I became. I was and still am, in therapy for issues related to self image.

I will tell you honestly that the only reason I know both pictures are you is because you posted them both. There has been a massive change in you likely on this inside as well as the outside. I know there are lots of folks who say nothing has changed but the shape of their bodies. I believe that. I also believe there are plenty of people like you and I who do not recognize the changes. My sister thinks I've gotten vain. I have not. I take alot of pictures so I can reinforce how I look in reality instead of just in my head.

And so you don't think I'm talking out my a**, here are some of my before and after shots. I don't think it looks like the same person either...

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@gowalking -- your post and your photos are making again the point I made earlier: This place is FULL of beautiful people on the inside and out. Thank you for sharing those pix. I'd seen two of them, but not the middle one. What a wonderful transformation you've gone through / are going through.

I completely agree with you that the changes we go through are complex and challenging.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Daisee, you're beautiful!

JustWatchMe

[sharkgirl 251]

Like others I see a much more confident woman in the 2nd picture so you hide your uncertainty well.

[waterwoman 179]

@@Daisee68, maybe one lesson on this journey is to begin to know our body. To discover it the way an infant discovers its body - curiously, with no judgments. And to appreciate and love it as our home.

I wish us luck!

Edited July 1, 2016 by waterwoman

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

@@Daisee68

You don't need my input here...

It's all been said anyway...

You're all over this sh*t...

[Daisee68 2,493]

Thanks @@KindaFamiliar but just because I SAID I wasn't fishing for compliments doesn't mean you couldn't have given one! ????.

Sent from my HTC One M9 using the BariatricPal App

[melyssafaye 181]

You look great!! Congrats!

I think I understand the confusion when people don't recognize you. My theory is that most people don't "see us" under the fat.

For example, I worked at a job for a short time with mostly 20-something employees (I'm 40-something). There was another older employee who was also female and overweight.

Everyone would call us twins, say we must be related or just honestly confuse us or our names on a regular basis. So much so that it was annoying.

Now, she was about 7 years older than me, short auburn hair, olive complexion with brown eyes. Also she's pear shaped.

I had long blonde hair, fair skin, blue eyes and hourglass shape (much more busty).

To me, we looked completely different. Like, not even close. If she were blonde or we had similar hairstyles maybe I could understand. But all we had in common was gender and weight.

But to others, we were twins. Go figure.

[silverthreads 183]

I think you look beautiful both before and after -- but what a transformation! I too hate pictures and was very good at looking in the mirror but not really seeing how I looked. You've made a tremendous change. Looks are only skin deep but I'm sure you feel much better too -- health wise. Of course you feel the same because you are the same person.

You set a very difficult goal for yourself and you've achieved it. Be proud and happy!