What's your favourite...

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

@@Oak Park Lorena

Funny!!!!

[thatmeanone 240]

You're just my type... You've got a pulse and you are breathing...

-Saint Motel

This song always makes me smile

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[thatmeanone 240]

Why does tigger bounce on his tail?

He doesn't want to step on pooh!

What can I say...I teach pre k

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[OzRoo 1,492]

This:

[Blue1213 122]

Checkmate honey, you're the only one who's got ta choose

Where to draw the line

Aerosmith

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,900]

(Gilbert Gottfried said this during the Comedy Central roast of Roseanne Barr):

A drunken farmer stumbled upstairs into his bedroom, where his wife Roseanne is.

She sees her husband holding a sheep under his arms.

The farmer yells, "This is the pig I've been f******!"

Roseanne says, "You idiot, that's not a pig. It's a sheep!"

The farmer says, "Shut the f*** up. I was talking to the sheep!"

His placing of those asterisks after the letter "f" is hilarious and pure comedic genius!!!

Edited July 2, 2016 by 4MRB4PHOTO

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

As if you'd expect anything less....

************************WARNING***********************

********************GRAPHIC LYRICS*****************

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,900]

How about the world's shortest joke:

Two women were sitting quietly on a bench.

(Ba-dum Tish)

[Sharon1964 2,530]

My kid told me this one today.

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Exactly where you left him.

***************************

And another:

Why did Sarah fall off the swing?

Because she has no arms.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not Sarah.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I am late to the part:

"You better shop around."

"I thank God for unanswered prayers."

[UalreadyKnow 843]

What do you call a cow with no legs??

Ground beef

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[OKCPirate 5,323]

What do you call a boom-a-rang that doesn't come back?

A stick

[ButterflySeoul 98]

Two pirates meet 
in a bar. The first one has a patch over one eye, 
a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says the second one. “What happened to ya?”

“Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”

“And yer hand?”

“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”

“OK, but what’s with the eye patch? ”

“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”

“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”

“True,” he says. “But it was me first day with the hook.”

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

What's brown and sticky?

A stick!!

[Valentina 2,642]

Did you hear about the kidnapping?

He woke up...