Stupid Choices = Stupid Outcome

[AvaFern 3,516]

@@Sharon1964

Both you and the dress looked beautiful. This is something that would have upset me too and I'm not on antidepressants, so either I should be or your reaction wasn't really terribly out of the norm. I can completely appreciate how frustrating it is when you put a lot of work into something, such as that dress, and the Belle with the Boobs wins. When I was in high school I was in a madrigal choir and I LOVED my dress. It was historically accurate (I think), handmade (by someone else), and the most wonderful fabric. I would be extremely upset if someone in a stupid costume beat that costume. I have dressed up for Halloween once as an adult and almost twice, and both times I was at a very normal weight, probably around 140-150ish, except both times I was in college or my mid-20's and the little girls in the short, tight, see-through, boobalicious outfits were always the ones that everyone paid attention to, not the average girl in less-hoochie mama apparel. In fact, this is funny, I distinctly remember a girl in a green Tinkerbelle costume who was SO much cuter than me, despite the fact that my costume was better, and standing next to her I'm fairly sure not a single guy looked at me.

I know Halloween isn't the same thing as your experience, but I can understand (I think) how you felt and without being someone who has depression I would have been very sad as well.

[glitter eyes 1,398]

What a beautiful costume. You look amazing in it. Such talent to have sewn it!!

What a week from hell you had. My hat goes off to you having the mental strength and patience to work with chronic pain patients. Hell has no fury like a pain addict not getting their meds.

Hope it's a better week.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I am wondering if people mind sharing which medication they take. I haven't been able to find one I can take without terrible side effects. They make me feel like I am on speed-like I stuck my finger in a light socket and I just shake.

I need one. I am depressed and have been for a long time but Trazadone gives me terrible headaches, and every SSRI I have tried has given me the shakes, nausea, headaches,make me sweat profusely, and cause insomnia.

[Daisee68 2,493]

@@Oregondaisy - I take an SSRI but I take it right before I go to sleep so that I sleep thru the early side effects, if any. Have you tried that?

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[Renkoss 420]

I began taking my SSRI at bedtime because after the usual side-effects subsided, the only one that remained was the pill made me tired for at least 1-1/2 hours and unproductive. So I began taking it at bedtime, and now I just fall asleep faster.

Perhaps try it. If you would like to go the non-prescription way, try using GABA or St. John's Wart, or even SAMe. I'd research those and see if it would be an option for you.

[Sharon1964 2,530]

@@Oregondaisy

You may have to go for an old-school antidepressant, like an MAOI inhibitor, if the SSRIs don't work for you. Don't be afraid to ask your doctor about a different medication.

I take Prozac, which despite its bad reputation, is effective for people who tend to fixate on things that they should be able to let go, and/or obsessive behaviors. Aside from crying for no particular reason, that was one of my major symptoms.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Jumping in here. LOOOVE your photo of you in the dress. You are beautiful in it and the dress itself is gorgeous, too.

I take Wellbutrin and like it. I have taken Paxil and Prozac in the past -- not together!

[mfarnan@comcast.net 0]

I am trying a whole new shift. Tonight is my last night of sleep meds. I hope

To use a more holistic process. I was going to start logging food again. Yes it's almost 3 years out and put back 14 out of 42 lbs. I will log but I am going to diary all the good choices. Didn't eat the chocolate donut staring at me / Did t use sour cream on my 12 tortilla chips / salsa and 2 slices of cheese . Would have doubled it. Watered down my Chardonnay at dinner . Didn't eat the French fries that my husband insisted on. This is the only way I can survive. 571/2 and 1 at diet at 11.

[Uniqbtrfly 27]

@@Oregondaisy I have tried many of them...prozac is the only one that works for me. I have had depression for many years and finally got a true diagnoses 2 years ago..bipolar type 2. It has taken over a year of different meds and strengths to get my personal cocktail...everyone is different. Depakote is my mood leveler and valium is for my anxiety and sleep. Bipolar is inherited I was told and now I can look back and see family members who more than likely had it also. In all the docs I went to over the years not one of them referred me to a psychiatrist or even mentioned the word bipolar. It took me about a year to wrap my head around it and it explained a lot of stupid choices I made through the years. Now I embrace it and actually view it as a gift. Be patient and don't give up on finding what works for you....even if it means changing doctors. My body seems to like the older drugs on the market. I am 63.

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Edited August 22, 2016 by Uniqbtrfly

[Uniqbtrfly 27]

@@Sharon1964 I too have worked in the medical field and the mind and brain has always fascinated me. So over the years my research in mental illness although I am no where a know it all. One of my x husbands had a head injury...happened before we met. To see him you would not know it. But living it was hell for me...so much emotional abuse. I have Fibromyalgia and my rheumatologist wants to give me Tramadol 50mg 1 a day as needed for pain...I also have Chronic Pain. I cannot take any of the meds for the fibro. So I turned to my primary care doc and she gives me the Tramadol 2x a day. I tried a pain management doc one time and all she wanted to do was give me shots.. no thank you very much. I have these and more health issues that there is no cure for so I take my meds religiously. Some bipolars like to stop there meds cause they like the "highs". I know them well and liked them too...but I now have a very loving and supportive husband and I do not want to make any more stupid choices that I know would make me lose him...he truly is the love of my life and actually saved my life because he pointed out the patterns in my past that made me do the research and led me to my diagnoses of bipolar rather than just depression. BTW...I love your dress and you look very becoming wearing it.

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[vixsummer 10]

Sharon, I hear you. I have an antidepressant that can cause severe withdrawal symptoms within the same day if I miss it, and I still do sometimes! I get so irritated with myself, but life can get away from us. Don't be too hard on yourself. You shared so many things to be proud of in your post - being open about your medication, your amazing sewing skills, putting yourself out there to do things that you don't normally do, and recognizing when your reactions aren't "normal". I'd say that the positives outweigh the negatives here. Keep fighting the good fight! ❤️

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[DRKExpressions 47]

The bodice is far too big, and this was at the end of the night when my head was killing me. These views don't do justice to the outfit.

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Just beautiful!!!!!

Good luck and thanks!

Teena

Surgery date 08/15/16

Start 267/ Surgery 248/ Now 221

Loss 46 / 27