Family problems

[tanyarahmes 119]

Well I am excited and upset all at the same time I am having surgery tomorrow I have chosen to only tell my husband, best friend and my dad.

My dad remarried about 3 years ago me and his wife don't really care for each other so I am not telling my family about my surgery I don't want her knowing at all.

The dad before my surgery my dad decides to tell me if I don't tell her about it he want be there for me.

I am so upset by this I am not asking him to lie I just don't want him telling her.

Am I wrong to not want the one person i can't stand to know???

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[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I am so sorry you have to deal with this.

I guess it depends on whether or not you want him to be there for you. I can see his point. You are asking him to keep something from his wife.

You don't have to tell all of your business, but you may want to consider at least telling her you are having surgery.

Best of luck with your decision and with your surgery.

[MissKay 329]

The decision to have WLS is a very intimate and personal thing, I think. So I can understand you not wanting to tell her.

On the flip side, you may not be asking him to lie, but you're asking him to hide something from his wife. Not the best idea, and I can understand why he's now settling with not wanting to do so.

If you're comfortable with it, and want him there, perhaps tell him he may divulge it to her but that you don't want to have any discussions with her about it, etc. etc.

[Bufflehead 6,358]

Your not wanting someone you don't like or get along with to know something so personal is completely understandable. That said, I don't think it's right to ask someone to keep a secret from their spouse, even if it doesn't involve affirmative lying. Maybe you can release your father from his obligation of secrecy but take some time explaining how much a positive environment and support are to you, and ask if he can talk with his wife about how they both can provide that positive attitude and support to you as you go forward. I am sure he wants that for you as much as he doesn't want to keep secrets from his wife.

[tanyarahmes 119]

Thank y'all your all right it's a much bigger story she's really does not like me and talks about me and would tell everyone if she knew. I just am in a really hard spot with my dad but I am going to focus on myself because this is my journey to a better health all I need is my husband and kids.

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