Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

Well I am excited and upset all at the same time I am having surgery tomorrow I have chosen to only tell my husband, best friend and my dad.

My dad remarried about 3 years ago me and his wife don't really care for each other so I am not telling my family about my surgery I don't want her knowing at all.

The dad before my surgery my dad decides to tell me if I don't tell her about it he want be there for me.

I am so upset by this I am not asking him to lie I just don't want him telling her.

Am I wrong to not want the one person i can't stand to know???

Sent from my iPhone

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am so sorry you have to deal with this.

I guess it depends on whether or not you want him to be there for you. I can see his point. You are asking him to keep something from his wife.

You don't have to tell all of your business, but you may want to consider at least telling her you are having surgery.

Best of luck with your decision and with your surgery.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The decision to have WLS is a very intimate and personal thing, I think. So I can understand you not wanting to tell her.

On the flip side, you may not be asking him to lie, but you're asking him to hide something from his wife. Not the best idea, and I can understand why he's now settling with not wanting to do so.

If you're comfortable with it, and want him there, perhaps tell him he may divulge it to her but that you don't want to have any discussions with her about it, etc. etc.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your not wanting someone you don't like or get along with to know something so personal is completely understandable. That said, I don't think it's right to ask someone to keep a secret from their spouse, even if it doesn't involve affirmative lying. Maybe you can release your father from his obligation of secrecy but take some time explaining how much a positive environment and support are to you, and ask if he can talk with his wife about how they both can provide that positive attitude and support to you as you go forward. I am sure he wants that for you as much as he doesn't want to keep secrets from his wife.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank y'all your all right it's a much bigger story she's really does not like me and talks about me and would tell everyone if she knew. I just am in a really hard spot with my dad but I am going to focus on myself because this is my journey to a better health all I need is my husband and kids.

Sent from my iPhone

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • cryoder22

      Day 1 of pre-op liquid diet (3 weeks) and I'm having a hard time already. I feel hungry and just want to eat. I got the protein and supplements recommend by my program and having a hard time getting 1 down. My doctor / nutritionist has me on the following:
      1 protein shake (bariatric advantage chocolate) with 8 oz of fat free milk 1 snack = 1 unjury protein shake (root beer) 1 protein shake (bariatric advantage orange cream) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein bar 1 protein shake (bariatric advantace orange cream or chocolate) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein soup (chicken) 3 servings of sugar free jello and popsicles throughout the day. 64 oz of water (I have flavor packets). Hot tea and coffee with splenda has been approved as well. Does anyone recommend anything for the next 3 weeks?
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        All I can tell you is that for me, it got easier after the first week. The hunger pains got less intense and I kind of got used to it and gave up torturing myself by thinking about food. But if you can, get anything tempting out of the house and avoid being around people who are eating. I sent my kids to my parents' house for two weeks so I wouldn't have to prepare meals I couldn't eat. After surgery, the hunger was totally gone.

    • buildabetteranna

      I have my final approval from my insurance, only thing holding up things is one last x-ray needed, which I have scheduled for the fourth of next month, which is my birthday.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BetterLeah

      Woohoo! I have 7 more days till surgery, So far I am already down a total of 20lbs since I started this journey. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Well done! I'm 9 days away from surgery! Keep us updated!

    • Ladiva04

      Hello,
      I had my surgery on the 25th of June of this year. Starting off at 117 kilos.😒
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Congrats on the surgery!

    • Sandra Austin Tx

      I’m 6 days post op as of today. I had the gastric bypass 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×