Unsupportive family

[gary5862 208]

I mostly just want to rant...

I'm less than 3 weeks post op and my wife has already stopped being supportive. The kids call my meals dog food.

Wife has gone through the McDonald's drive through 3 times with me in the car since surgery, she breaks out bags of chips and other Snacks for movie nights, and has little regard for my new diet.

She doesn't seem to understand why this would upset me.

The kids are pretty young still, so I'll give them a pass. Wife is scheduled for surgery on August 1st, so I would think she would be more supportive...

[MissKay 329]

Hey there! So I understand this perfectly. My boyfriend of 8 years went with me for the surgery down to Mexico, and I'm now 5 days post-op and he hasn't changed his eating habits in the slightest. Pre-op, this was really difficult for me. I really loathed him for it. Since post-op, I haven't had an inkling of hunger. While the food looks good and smells good, it's easy for me to ignore it.

Basically, what I've learned, is that I cannot expect those around me to change their eating habits just because I have an issue with weight and had to make a drastic change. Would I like for him to? Of course! But I don't blame him. And with your wife if her surgery is coming up in August, the chances are she is trying to eat what she wants and can now since soon she won't be able to. I honestly did this all the month of May leading up to my own surgery.

As for your kids, they may be young, but I'd suggest correcting that behavior now. It may seem harmless because they're unaware, but it could turn into more. And your feelings matter even if they don't grasp that concept yet. Besides, I'd guarantee once your wife is there and they do it to her it won't be as okay with her.

Edited June 18, 2016 by MissKay

[Sophie74656 1,572]

It sucks they are making things harder for you. But the way I looked at it....yes if my husband made healthy choices with me that would be great. But this was something *I* was doing, it was *my* choice so I wasn't expecting him to make changes

[gary5862 208]

I don't really care what my wife eats if I'm not there. Being stuck in the car when everyone is eating is the worst.

[Dave D 35]

I had this talk with my wife also... she is all about supporting me but, I had to tell her that was like slapping me in the face..... she understands now and knows it is hard already, let alone watching and smelling that stuff.... good luck.

Sent from my XT1585 using the BariatricPal App

[Sophie74656 1,572]

I don't really care what my wife eats if I'm not there. Being stuck in the car when everyone is eating is the worst.

It is. You are trapped with that smell...i had the same thing. We were running errands and he got hungry so he pulled into McDonald's. I just got a cup of oce Water but he got a full meal. I would have sold my soul, murdered my mother, sacrificed my first born to have a bite of that burger

[Sophie74656 1,572]

Before my surgery i talked to my (soon to be ex) husband about how he felt about it, if je would be supportive and such. He basically said he would be supportive if it's something I wantd to so but it is not fair to ask him to change his lifestule because I made this decision (he is well over 300lbs so it wouldn't hurt him to eat healthier too) so at firt i was fine with that and he said he wanted to keep going to our favorite buffet...i said fine just dont tell me. So every other day this would happen

Him: don't wait up for me with dinner, [lady friend] and and I have plans

Me: where are you going?

Him: you asked me not to tell you

Then he wouldn't be home untill midnight

[Sophie74656 1,572]

@@gary5862 ranting can be bery therapeutic. I hope once your wife has surgery things will be easier.

[gary5862 208]

Thanks guys. I do feel better

[KristenLe 5,979]

@@gary5862 I can't believe she's behaving this way AND is scheduled for WLS in little more than a month. That's not only insensitive it's not a good sign for her being able to make healthy choices post-op. My surgery isn't even scheduled yet but I haven't had fast food since starting my journey in April. I would tell her how she's making you feel and how she's not doing herself any favors either. Stay strong, Gary!!!

[Valentina 2,642]

I am so sorry that you have had to endure these "bumps" in your WLS journey. Support is soo important

Hopefully, when it's your wife's turn to start her WLS journey, you will stand tall and NOT play "titt for tatt".

Prove to her and yourself what true support is all about. I bet she'll thank you --in so many ways.

[gary5862 208]

In the past I might have used that as an excuse to go off my diet, but I'm committed this time.

I haven't cheated at all and don't plan on it. Not this time.

[jane13 2,256]

@@gary5862 - stay strong. we are here for you.

[Sumaire 75]

My daughter isn't supportive at all, and it's worse because we share a place to live.

She keeps going on about anything negative that might happen as a result, and I'm not having it. I've had surgery of one sort or another more than a few times already, so I know I have little chance of a bad reaction to anesthesia.

She knows the crap I've been going through to get this approved. I've not left her out of that loop, because I think she needs to know what's going on, but I know she doesn't like hearing at all about it.

I hope that once your wife has her surgery, she's more supportive.

[gary5862 208]

My daughter isn't supportive at all, and it's worse because we share a place to live.

She keeps going on about anything negative that might happen as a result, and I'm not having it. I've had surgery of one sort or another more than a few times already, so I know I have little chance of a bad reaction to anesthesia.

She knows the crap I've been going through to get this approved. I've not left her out of that loop, because I think she needs to know what's going on, but I know she doesn't like hearing at all about it.

I hope that once your wife has her surgery, she's more supportive.

That sounds terrible. Just remember you're doing this for you, not her.