Dr KindaFamiliar will be available to answer your questions...

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

I pooped out a staple, what now??

Hi TheRealMeIsHere,

Just one question -

What the absolute f*ck??!?!

If you're pooping out staples, I hope that you've at least been eating them!!!

If you've not, you really do have some problems...

Unfortunately, I know of no solution to your problem (you freak!!)..

I can, however, think of a practical solution -

If you have some sort of 'control' along with a VERY good aim, you could possibly get yourself a job at some sort of magazine printing establishment.

I can see you now, squatting over the new edition of 'The Watchtower' or 'Hustler' (this is a very sad reflection of my youth), aiming carefully and theeeeennnnnnnn - RELEASE!!

Of course, you'll need to keep your energy up.

And you may also need to invest in some arse cream...

As it happens, I have some left over from a previous experiment, which shall remain unnamed..

Look at me go...

Solving the world's problems one freakshow at a time...

NEXT!!!!!

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

I pooped out a staple, what now??

Why are you eating staples?? They were not in the "allowed" foods factsheet my NUT gave me

AussieGirl81...

If you want to ask questions, you direct them to me...

Otherwise...

Well...

I'm not sure...

But whatever it is, I'll mean it!!!

NEXT!!!!

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

"ASSUMES"??? Now you are telling me? Couldn't you just started from the second part to avoid all this embarrassment?

Oh well, at least I had my hat on...

Poor, poor midvishon...

Going off half-cocked...

Speaking of which, I was just speaking to...

Oh...

Nothing...

NEXT!!!!

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

He is go going to kill me isn't he?

Not until he's messed with you for some time...

NEXT!!!!

[NeedaBreak4Me 1,755]

*hides*

[NeedaBreak4Me 1,755]

You are going to do the slow painful torturous thing aren't you????

I like hehehe ????

But you are gonn have to find me first.. so ner

Edited June 20, 2016 by AussieGirl81

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

I have just had to read this whole thread out to my husband because I was laughing so much I snorted snot and he couldn't imagine what was making me laugh so much. It was the comment about the knicker elastic thwacking against posterior flesh that did it for me! Love this thread. x

What else needs to be said here?

We have a post which contains the following -

Snot

Laughs

Knickers

Thwacking

Arse..

Now THAT is a Saturday night...

NEXT!!!

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

@

I'll give you a head's up next time he's headed to Sydney so you can hide.

Look at you go CHM...

You're good people...

You can be my people...

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

Dear Dr kinda,

Do you make housecalls? Just kinda curious...

Signed,

You know me:)

Hello CowgirlJane...

Nice to see you here...

House calls you say?

Hmmmmmmmmm...

Interesting concept...

I think it's worth looking into...

Tho I think it could get expensive, what with all the travel and such...

But the again, I'm worth it!!

House calls are ON!!!!

NEXT!!!!

[jintycb 721]

Have just started a rant thread and come back to this one and I have now got snot flowing out my nose because I snorted with laughter. This thread is costing me a fortune in loo paper (for blowing said snot out when laughter has stopped!).

Dearest Dr KindaFamiliar, can you tell me if I can suffer from Water damage? It's pissing with rain - again - although today is the summer solstice here in the Northern Hemisphere.

Not one of my dogs has even got out of our bed yet but I am now feeling guilty that it is 9.41 and I haven't got up to take them for their walk yet.

Do you think that if this weather continues my staples and my hip replacement might suffer from rust damage. If this is the case what is your suggested course of treatment?

Thank you in advance for what I know will be invaluable information and experience x[emoji8]

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

You are going to do the slow painful torturous thing aren't you????

I like hehehe

But you are gonn have to find me first.. so ner

Don't you worry about me finding you...

If you want THAT stuff done, it's gonna cost...

The doctor says - Start saving your money..

Quality costs!!!!

NEXT!!!!

[NeedaBreak4Me 1,755]

You are going to do the slow painful torturous thing aren't you????

I like hehehe

But you are gonn have to find me first.. so ner

Don't you worry about me finding you...

If you want THAT stuff done, it's gonna cost...

The doctor says - Start saving your money..

Quality costs!!!!

NEXT!!!!

Wow you charge a lot by the sounds of it for a minute..... better get out the penny jar...

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

jinty, jinty, jinty...

You really are 27 kinds of special aren't you...

None of them particularly good...

Anyway, I'll address your queries in order...

Have just started a rant thread and come back to this one and I have now got snot flowing out my nose because I snorted with laughter. This thread is costing me a fortune in loo paper (for blowing said snot out when laughter has stopped!).

Use your sleeve...

Or someone else's sleeve...

Not the sleeve that removed your gizzards...

The arm of your shirt...

Or the curtain...

You get the drift...

can you tell me if I can suffer from Water damage?

Yes I can...

Yes you do...

But Water damage is the least of your problems when it comes to damage...

But you know that, don't you...

Not one of my dogs has even got out of our bed yet but I am now feeling guilty that it is 9.41 and I haven't got up to take them for their walk yet.

Don't feel guilty...

If the dogs REALLY wanted to go for a walk, they'd get their hairy arses out of bed and walk...

I have to drag my hairy arse out of bed each morning and fend for myself, why should't they??

Do you think that if this weather continues my staples and my hip replacement might suffer from rust damage. If this is the case what is your suggested course of treatment?

I think I can solve your rusty staples problem...

I have another vict patient who happens to be 'pooping staples' at the moment...

I'm not sure how good her aim is but she seems to be serious about taking her 'pooping' to the next level...

I'll get her people to call your people and you can do lunch...

Or not...

I don't care...

And as far as water on the hip goes - you simply require a tap on the thigh.. (it's an oldie but an oldie)..

NEXT!!!!

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

You are going to do the slow painful torturous thing aren't you????

I like hehehe

But you are gonn have to find me first.. so ner

Don't you worry about me finding you...

If you want THAT stuff done, it's gonna cost...

The doctor says - Start saving your money..

Quality costs!!!!

NEXT!!!!

Wow you charge a lot by the sounds of it for a minute..... better get out the penny jar...

If I hadnt taken the Hippocritical oath to give a sh*t and stuff (you know, the doctor thing), I'd be all up in your grill regarding your disrespectful jibber-jabber...

But I have...

So I'll not...

NEXT!!!!

[OzRoo 1,492]

@

I thought you were good at hiding on different corners ....

Dear Dr. K,

May I remind anyone with rust problems to just use this, and no, this is not just for blokes only