Regret before surgery

[Clementine Sky 708]

Hello all,

Please tell me I'm not the only one. I am two weeks away from VSG and I am regretting my decision already. The first thing that comes to mind is that I could do this by myself. I know that is a lie because I've tried so many things in the past. I assume that this feeling is coming from the fear of surgery, I honestly don't have a clue. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that the surgery as well as diet and exercise will ensure some weight loss. Please tell me I'm not the only one with this feeling......

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I think it's normal and common to question and even have some feelings of regret about any choice that is going to alter your life. I "leapt before I looked" when I was younger enough to start pacing back and forth in front of the Water investigating it first and really thinking through decisions before making a move. It's better to go through that process beforehand and to address your concerns so that you can feel more confident. I did second-guess myself a bit prior to surgery and wonder if it was too drastic of a choice and if I should just try again at losing weight through diet and exercise. I then thought about how many times I had lost a little weight, only to gain it back and more, and how that cycle had repeated itself for years. I have PCOS and weight loss is enormously frustrating. I think our history helps to tell us about our future, and I could see more years of struggling, obsession about my weight, and my life not being lived fully.

I don't know what your personal circumstances are, but if you are paying for this yourself or a big part of it then the financial aspect is an understandable concern. I was self-pay because my BMI didn't meet insurance qualifications, and I did feel selfish about spending that much on the surgery (though I had mine in Mexico, which was far less than it would have cost locally). I now view it as a necessary and completely worthwhile investment, not just in myself but in the wellbeing of my family since how my wellbeing also affects them. If you're doing a pre-op diet that could also make you more emotional, understandably.

It's also common to have regrets post-op and "buyer's remorse". That's something I'd prepared myself for after reading about VSG and watching YouTube videos of people's experiences. Some feel exhausted, uncomfortable, overwhelmed. Everyone also said that those feelings passed, and that in the long-run they had no regrets about having surgery. All benefits outweighed the negatives. For me, I didn't have any regrets post-surgery. I really didn't have that much pain, and I quickly started to see progress. I'm at my lowest weight since age 19, and I feel so much more alive. I'm more active, more willing to try new things, more optimistic. I am so glad I had this surgery. I hope you feel the same way.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

No regrets here regarding having surgery.

I DO, however, regret 20+ years of obesity and yo-yo dieting. I do regret the irreparable damage I've done to my joints. I do regret 15 years of rarely appearing in front of the camera with my kids as they grew up because I hated seeing myself in pictures. I do regret all the vacation opportunities I missed because I was too unfit to run the dunes/ride the horse/fit in the roller coaster/hike the mountain/participate in the school 10k/etc. I regret being the fat mom in the room. I regret being a horrible body image role model to my two teens. I could go on...

No, I never regretted the idea of surgery. I was scared and nervous, but I knew it needed to be done to get my life back.

[PRINCESS2218 56]

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[Sugarnspice 150]

No regrets here regarding having surgery.

I DO, however, regret 20+ years of obesity and yo-yo dieting. I do regret the irreparable damage I've done to my joints. I do regret 15 years of rarely appearing in front of the camera with my kids as they grew up because I hated seeing myself in pictures. I do regret all the vacation opportunities I missed because I was too unfit to run the dunes/ride the horse/fit in the roller coaster/hike the mountain/participate in the school 10k/etc. I regret being the fat mom in the room. I regret being a horrible body image role model to my two teens. I could go on...

No, I never regretted the idea of surgery. I was scared and nervous, but I knew it needed to be done to get my life back.

"The fat mom" this is one of the biggest reasoning I'm doing this. I have a 6 & 12 year old I don't want to be the fat mom.

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[LipstickLady 25,682]

Being fat mom sucked.

[Sugarnspice 150]

Being fat mom sucked.

I used to live in the New York city but now moved to the suburbs in Pennsylvania where there's a lot less "fat moms" or maybe less different people, maybe more critical people. My daughter also getting older and I'm becoming more conscious of being the fat mom it does suck

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[Kyn13 215]

I still don't have a surgery date, currently waiting on the insurance approval. But I had my son in 2007 and I've been over 300 lbs since. I've gone back and forth over having it or not. I'm gonna do this for me and my son. But I've found what truly sucks for me is that the one best friend I really want to share this all with she thinks that I'm chicken and I took the easy way out. I know she loves me n I love her just sucks cause any time I have news to share or thinking thoughts of things like this I can tell her.

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[LipstickLady 25,682]

Who are you doing this for? You or her??

[Sugarnspice 150]

I still don't have a surgery date, currently waiting on the insurance approval. But I had my son in 2007 and I've been over 300 lbs since. I've gone back and forth over having it or not. I'm gonna do this for me and my son. But I've found what truly sucks for me is that the one best friend I really want to share this all with she thinks that I'm chicken and I took the easy way out. I know she loves me n I love her just sucks cause any time I have news to share or thinking thoughts of things like this I can tell her.

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I had a "best friend" like this now she is someone I catch up with every now & then. It's not her job to put you down especially without a lack of information if she was that invested she would do some research & this coming from a person who thought the same about people who had WLS surgery lazy , easy way out etc. I tried & tried lost & gained finally I did some research & it's definitely not the easy way out.

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[Kyn13 215]

Who are you doing this for? You or her??

Me there is no question about it, but me and her we have been through so much together and it just would be nice if she were a little more supportive

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[LipstickLady 25,682]

Who are you doing this for? You or her??

Me there is no question about it, but me and her we have been through so much together and it just would be nice if she were a little more supportive

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You can't force that, unfortunately.

[tanyarahmes 119]

I still don't have a surgery date, currently waiting on the insurance approval. But I had my son in 2007 and I've been over 300 lbs since. I've gone back and forth over having it or not. I'm gonna do this for me and my son. But I've found what truly sucks for me is that the one best friend I really want to share this all with she thinks that I'm chicken and I took the easy way out. I know she loves me n I love her just sucks cause any time I have news to share or thinking thoughts of things like this I can tell her.

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I myself only told my best friend as well cause I don't want people judging me I have a friend that has had it and she is super supportive you need someone that's going to be there for you not to judge you because I am On day 13 on liquid diet there has been nothing easy about any of this best of luck to you

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[Kaze 94]

Hey, I wish I still had my best friend to tell. Y'all are further than me.

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[PrincessKeeper3 12]

I am 7 months out from my sleeve and can tell you it is the hardest best journey I have ever taken. I feel so much better already. I am learning that this is my journey. If you compare yourself to everyone else, it sets you up for a lot of self doubt. So thankful I made this decision.

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[reachbree 140]

thats so true. Even though im only a couple days out from surgery and in pain, i can tell that my hunger is different...

If you ask most bariatric surgery patients what they regret most about their surgery, it's that they didn't get it done sooner.

The difference between dieting and WLS is HUGE. It is still hard and you still need to make good choices, and there are ways to sabotage yourself, but I can tell you that I'd never felt this good on a regular diet/exercise regime. When I restricted calories in the past, my body fought back hard. Hunger was unbearable.

If you compare hunger to noise, pre-surgery hunger was a deafening roar. Now it's just a little whimper. The signal's there but it's not making me pounce face-first into a platter of food.

You will feel different, and it will feel fabulous (once you're past recovery and liquid diets!) Hang in there, folks