Relationships

[MsB7 64]

My surgery is set for August 24th and my on and off boyfriend is concerned that I will no longer be interested in being in a relationship. He thinks that I will get too Skinny and Not want to be with him anymore. Has anyone else had this issue?

Thanks

Blessings

Edited June 16, 2016 by MsB7

[AvaFern 3,516]

Tell him that if he is this insecure already, it's better that he be off again now than waste your time trying to be on again until then. This is about your health, your confidence, and your comfort with your body- not his freaking self-esteem. If a man loves you, he supports you in your decisions to improve your health. If he cares more about your a*s than your heart (I meant that in terms of cardiac health, but lovey dovey heart context also works), either use him for his most worthwhile anatomical feature and get rid of him when he no longer fits your needs (like he is hinting he might do to you) or replace him with someone who is legitimately worth your time and say goodbye to Mr. On-again-off-again-insecure-little-boy-baby.

Do what makes YOU happy and if he doesn't like it, then too damn bad.

[erp 2,016]

I didn't have this issue but from being on here a long time. This is not an uncommon concern. In fact even the other way around happens too. Where a gal is afraid her bf will no longer want her once she has lost weight if he was attracted to her when she was overweight. Frankly in any situation, if physical appearance drives someone away, then the relationship wasn't strong to begin with. However your BF's fears are normal and it's up to you reassure him that leaving him is not in your plans. You also should assess if his fears are real about you leaving or a passive aggressive way to prevent you from having surgery. Good luck to you

[livvsmum 2,369]

I think that when I first lost so much weight quickly, my husband experienced a little insecurity. I guess he thought I was maybe getting attention from men that I hadn't in the past and maybe I would want something different? After he realized that I essentially am the same person, just a healthier version of myself, things leveled out. If he's worried before you've even had the surgery, though, it would make me wonder if he's going to be supportive of you in your efforts? You definitely don't need someone sabotaging your efforts! Good luck!

[curlyclara 0]

Yes it will change you.. ????

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk

[kgarrettsatx 109]

Tell him that if he is this insecure already, it's better that he be off again now than waste your time trying to be on again until then. This is about your health, your confidence, and your comfort with your body- not his freaking self-esteem. If a man loves you, he supports you in your decisions to improve your health. If he cares more about your a*s than your heart (I meant that in terms of cardiac health, but lovey dovey heart context also works), either use him for his most worthwhile anatomical feature and get rid of him when he no longer fits your needs (like he is hinting he might do to you) or replace him with someone who is legitimately worth your time and say goodbye to Mr. On-again-off-again-insecure-little-boy-baby.

Do what makes YOU happy and if he doesn't like it, then too damn bad.

I LOVE this reply. So so true!!!!!!!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App