Work trying to make me delay surgery

[SashaMLS 33]

@@SashaMLS, I am sorry you have to deal with a boss like that. You are absolutely in the right and should be able to have your surgery when you want it, particularly if the only reason to delay is because your boss feels like being mean.

Unfortunately, I think there are two issues here. One, as the others have pointed out, is the legality. What are your rights based on where you live and the place you work? Are you in a place with good employee support?

The other is, how big of a stink do you want to raise? Even if you are totally in the right (which you are) and the law protects you completely, do you want to fight with your boss? Will it make your work life miserable if you don’t comply with your boss’s demand? Would going to HR give you a bad name with your boss or even with your coworkers, thus making work really miserable for you in the future?

Again, sorry about this! These are things you shouldn’t have to deal with at this important time in your life (or ever). Good luck figuring it out.

My co-workers are completely behind me. Work here is already miserable and I have plans to leave as soon as my surgery is done and I'm on my feet doing well.

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[SashaMLS 33]

Scheduled my surgery today for July 25th. Told my manager and he started to argue and get angry and then I told him I was approved for FMLA and he just said "OK then." He was really mad. But I feel better already. Just knowing it's scheduled and he can't hold me back from this is making me so happy!! Thanks for all the advice!

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[AmberMc03 59]

FMLA protects you from exactly this situation! My boss tried to tell me to move my July 5th surgery date because exactly 2 weeks later is a major audit that I need to be at work for. I assured her that I would be back for the audit but she is hell bent on pressuring me to move it. One call to HR stopped that immediately.

[NewBeginning2016 63]

I work for a large hospital too and I checked the schedule and decided when I wanted to have surgery. Told my boss a week in advance, but she knew I had to have hernia repair. I left off the VSG lol.

RealityKrys

VSG 6/17/2016

[SashaMLS 33]

It sucks when you really regret being honest with your boss. We've always gotten along really well but I guess this is just a reminder that they are management and you are not.

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[AmberMc03 59]

I too was open and honest with my boss and she flipped her sh?&! She tried to pressure me to reschedule for later this summer. I simply told her that this is not elective because of my morbid obesity and co-morbidities make it medically necessary. I have next week to make sure I'm caught up and ahead on my work so my performance isn't questioned. Why can't people just understand that this IS MY LAST OPTION!

[SashaMLS 33]

I too was open and honest with my boss and she flipped her sh?&! She tried to pressure me to reschedule for later this summer. I simply told her that this is not elective because of my morbid obesity and co-morbidities make it medically necessary. I have next week to make sure I'm caught up and ahead on my work so my performance isn't questioned. Why can't people just understand that this IS MY LAST OPTION!

I totally understand your frustration! I seriously wish I had never been honest at all and just said I'm having surgery. Period. I really hate how "fat shaming" is the last socially acceptable Prejudice. Super sad.

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[SashaMLS 33]

Apparently my boss decided to have a meeting with my director about my surgery. I was then pulled into his office and told if I insisted on having my surgery on July 25th then he would have to cancel some of my coworkers requests for time off. He was basically trying to coworker quilt me into delaying my surgery. He told me about the long conversation he had with my boss and how it just wasn't the right time for my surgery. He asked me to move it to 8/15. I told him that 8/15 would have been perfectly acceptable when I was trying so hard to work with my boss but that now it was too late. My surgery has been scheduled and my FMLA paperwork had been filed. He had no idea that I had asked my boss for appropriate dates and that I had tried to do what was best for the department. I showed him the emails and he got red faced and was very upset. I guess his long meeting wasn't as informative as he thought.....

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[theantichick 2,204]

Apparently my boss decided to have a meeting with my director about my surgery. I was then pulled into his office and told if I insisted on having my surgery on July 25th then he would have to cancel some of my coworkers requests for time off. He was basically trying to coworker quilt me into delaying my surgery. He told me about the long conversation he had with my boss and how it just wasn't the right time for my surgery. He asked me to move it to 8/15. I told him that 8/15 would have been perfectly acceptable when I was trying so hard to work with my boss but that now it was too late. My surgery has been scheduled and my FMLA paperwork had been filed. He had no idea that I had asked my boss for appropriate dates and that I had tried to do what was best for the department. I showed him the emails and he got red faced and was very upset. I guess his long meeting wasn't as informative as he thought.....

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They always say the one with the best (most) documentation wins. Good for you, making sure you had it all documented. Bosses need to learn they can't bully people. I hope yours learns the lesson.

[mbnurse 28]

I used to manage the department that administered leaves of absence at a hospital system. If you are FMLA qualifying he has already broken the law by not sending you to HR so that they can provide you with the paperwork regarding your rights. I think they have 3 days. All they can as for is 30 days notice for a foreseeable leave of absence. Your boss sounds horrible. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

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