Why do some folks try to ruin this forum?

[ridgerunner 115]

@@LipstickLady

PMing someone who you believe may have slighted you is a great idea. It would probably stop a lot of train wrecks before they happen. Who knows, maybe people are already doing this and we would see many more battles if they weren't? No way to know since it's private Lol.

However, and I say this also with the upmost respect to you, I have seen you involved in, and involve yourself in, decidely not private battles. I am not saying this to call you out or to judge you. I hope that I do not offend you by saying this. Please do not hold it against me. I have read many of your posts and you have been a real inspiration to me.

[ridgerunner 115]

@@ridgerunner

No offense at all.... i see nothing wrong with healthy respectful discussion....

I just thought its time to show the other side... there seems to be a lot of veteran slamming at the moment by a few select people... and others are jumping on that bandwagon... i thought its time for others to see the other side....

I believe that everyone is entitled to their opinion, and on a forum you can choose to take advice or not. .. at the end of the day... they are words on a screen from people who don't know you... so i do not take everything said as gold.

I take personal responsibility for my health, my life and my thoughts...and will research, double check and ask my surgeon if i am unsure about something.

If i do receive advice, i take it.. double check the facts.. then implement it if it is correct .. what works for one person may not work for another.

One can not rely soley on a forum for their medical advice... thats a dangerous road to take.

In relation to you not posting because you are afraid... don't be... feel free to.. there will always be someone in your corner to defend you if someone is being an ass ????

That is so true!

Thanks AussieGirl81 for the support and the thoughtful discussion.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

@@LipstickLady

PMing someone who you believe may have slighted you is a great idea. It would probably stop a lot of train wrecks before they happen. Who knows, maybe people are already doing this and we would see many more battles if they weren't? No way to know since it's private Lol.

However, and I say this also with the upmost respect to you, I have seen you involved in, and involve yourself in, decidely not private battles. I am not saying this to call you out or to judge you. I hope that I do not offend you by saying this. Please do not hold it against me. I have read many of your posts and you have been a real inspiration to me.

You call them battles, I call them debates or discussions. I don't mind having an adult discussion, disagreement or a bit of banter. I don't get easily offended but yes, if someone says something I don't understand the intent behind, I ask them privately.

Some are VERY clear on their intent via name calling, passive aggressive "offerings", etc. No need to message about that. They just don't always like the answers they get back.

I think the problem comes in when a third (or fourth) party comes in and starts fanning the flames, throwing out jabs trying to incite more drama, fighting someone else's battle when there was no battle there, etc. It's also quite telling when the person fanning the flames is all of 3 days (or minutes) old on the forum and jumps right in with both feet. (Happened the other day -- a handful of new people came for the drama and haven't really been back. WEIRD STUFF RIGHT THERE.)

Anywho -- no offense taken. I know who I am and I know who my friends are. It's all good!

[LipstickLady 25,682]

THIS. I'm a semi vet (2.5 years out) and have almost stopped answering most questions bc my answers may be considered mean/sarcastic/whatever. It works both ways. Some vets don't bother answering because the responses to their answers will be analyzed, rehashed and critiqued

Yup. This seems to be the cycle. The next step will be the newbies angrily wondering where all the vets are and why they aren't generously donating their time to answer. We went through that about a year and a half ago.

This is why we need a vet forum and color coding. SNORT!

[NeedaBreak4Me 1,755]

@@ridgerunner

Anytime... thats what we are here for ????

Now to all you negative nellies... lets all kiss and make up!!!!

We are the only ones who all have a common goal and truly understand what its like to have wls or a weight issue.

So, Lets all work together, be the best we can be, looking fabulous, being healthy and celebrating our successes and our losses!!

[ridgerunner 115]

@@LipstickLady

Thank you for your mature response to my (only partially ????) negative statement...Just so you know, I have seen the other side where you were called out for no reason and treated unfairly by others.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@ridgerunner ... I agree that it would be lovely if we could ask thoughtful questions and receive thoughtful answers.

And an occasional "thank you" for the time and effort we take to answer others' questions would be appreciated, too. Unfortunately, that seldom happens.

I believe the following interchange is the only attempt I ever made to answer a question you posed (about the possible use of NSAIDs after WLS) and your responses to my attempt:

I'm with @@Inner Surfer Girl -- WLS patients' medical situations vary considerably. Therefore, their pain management needs vary. What works for one person's needs could be quite wrong for another's.

This is definitely a topic for your medical team to address.

Best wishes.

VSGAnn2014,
I understand that I need to ultimately speak to my doctors. I said as much in my response to Inner Surfer Girl. But until I am able to do that what is the harm of me gleening information from those who have been there before me and may have helpful tips and suggestions that I could take to my doctors and inquire about?
What is this forum for if we are never to ask questions we should be asking a doctor? In turn, does that also mean we should never heed anyones advice in this forum that is not a medical professional, no matter how sound? Does that mean that your advice is subjective and doesn't apply to me? Am I only to post my stats and weight loss photos and refrain from asking any questions?
I apologize if I sound rude but I see people reaching out to others here all the time for advice and time and again all they get is "talk to your doctor" ... well duh, of course they will talk to their doctor but in the meantime they are just asking for an opinion or two from those going through what they are. Have you all gotten so far removed that you have forgotten what it's like to crave answers to all your questions? Did you never ask a question that you will be asking your doctor? Ever?

Of course, we invite lots of input from others on a huge array of questions and issues. They range from complications to fashion to marriage to support.

But in response to the specific, very medical question you've asked in this thread I would NEVER begin to advise you. I don't have remotely enough information about your medical situation, your health, your weight history, any eating disorders, your psychology, your metabolism, your family support and what sounds like your serious, very complicated, possibly interacting diagnoses -- to offer an opinion. And nobody here knows what medications you're currently taking.

So that's exactly why I said I thought you would get the best advice by consulting your doctor.

Good luck.

VSGAnn2014,
I guess you did not entirely read my post or my answers to you or Inner Surfer Girl. Where I have repeatedly said I would be consulting with my doctors?
I did not ask you or anyone else to diagnose or treat me. I simply asked a simple little question about what OTHERS are doing about THEIR pain without the use of NSAIDS. People ask medical questions on here all the time. This is a forum for WLS not fashion and marriage. Believe me, I know you are not a doctor and I am intelligent enough to decide whether or not something you may be doing to relieve pain may not be right for me. I am sure that I am not alone in this ability.

I haven't attempted to address any of your questions since then.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

@@LipstickLady

Thank you for your mature response to my (only partially ) negative statement...Just so you know, I have seen the other side where you were called out for no reason and treated unfairly by others.

You were totally "calling me out" and that's OK. I can handle it. I'm truly not the mean, horrible b!tch that people want others to believe. Like I said, I know who I am and the intent behind my words, as do the people who care to know me.

I also know that I've done really well on this WLS "journey" and am as hesitant to share at this point as you are to ask. I love the idea of "paying it forward", but for this type of reward? Nah...

[ridgerunner 115]

@@VSGAnn2014

I am sorry that your experience with my post was so negative. I wish that you had reposted this without leaving out my response to Innersurfergirl. It would have shed more light on my response to you. I apologize for offending you. I was frustrated that I had a burning question and all I had received thus far as a response was I shouldn't be asking the question. It was my first ever post on this forum and I may have over reacted. Others later posted with answers to my question that were very helpful so I did get what I sought. Again, I do sincerely apologize to you. I know that you have a lot of useful knowledge and hope that you will forgive and reach out and help me if you see me post a question you can help me with. Hey! What's the chances it would happen again?

[SusanB55 89]

BINGO! I've actually cut way down on my time spent here for exactly this reason. I'm a lurker but had come to rely on the information I found here. Thank goodness I discovered another group where there is only love and support. It's a support page, not a belittle page.

Love wins.

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

What is the other group? Maybe I'll join that one!

[taracutch 226]

Personally, I've never been bullied by a vet but I'd rather be yelled at by a vet than deserted by them going to a secret forum. They are the ones with info and if anyone is an ass to me I will suck it up or block them. It's just not that serious.

[Syl 153 35]

Interested in how things went for ? What was your surgeons name! What Hospital did you stay at? Where you treated well. Would you do it again

BINGO! I've actually cut way down on my time spent here for exactly this reason. I'm a lurker but had come to rely on the information I found here. Thank goodness I discovered another group where there is only love and support. It's a support page, not a belittle page.

Love wins.

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

What is the other group? Maybe I'll join that one!

Sent from my SM-G930T1 using the BariatricPal App

[Sharon1964 2,530]

This could be fun, we could do the research for someone who hasn't, and do cut and paste answers and store on the veterans forum.

"Noob needs answer 3 please"

I will take it upon myself to start making some suggestions for team leaders to put together stock responses:

Sharon1964 - all things poli

I would like to be "all things sex, relationships, and alternative lifestyles."

Thanks!

[LipstickLady 25,682]

This could be fun, we could do the research for someone who hasn't, and do cut and paste answers and store on the veterans forum.

"Noob needs answer 3 please"

I will take it upon myself to start making some suggestions for team leaders to put together stock responses:

Sharon1964 - all things poli

I would like to be "all things sex, relationships, and alternative lifestyles."

Thanks!

I gotchooo.

[Syl 153 35]

BINGO! I've actually cut way down on my time spent here for exactly this reason. I'm a lurker but had come to rely on the information I found here. Thank goodness I discovered another group where there is only love and support. It's a support page, not a belittle page.

Love wins.

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

What is the other group? Maybe I'll join that one!

I to would like to find another group. Please let me know yur new group. Talk with you there. to nice people.

Sent from my SM-G930T1 using the BariatricPal App