How do I tell my surgeon he screwed up?

[Christinamo7 4,042]

I am not sure how much I *could* eat. I could eat a lot more than I should have before surgery and I could probably eat a lot more than I should now. I am pretty sure I have a man's stomach in a woman's body.

anyway. Loosing the weight is about weighing or measuring the food, and sticking to food choices that are good, and moving your body.

So, I portion out my food - freeze some, fridge others, eat my serving. I am just looking to eat and not be hungry until the next time. But I don't eat to feel "full" anymore.

wishing you all kinds of crazy success on your journey. if you do confront the surgeon, please let us know how that goes, and let us know how you're doing anyway!

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Wow, some of you are right down hateful lol. I say I was talking to my dad while eating a steak for a cook out with the intentions of only have the filet mignon side and was able to consume a 20 oz steak without realizing it and I'm blasted because something might not be wrong????

Let me ask you this, can any of you eat 20 ounces of dense Protein? No? Then something is wrong lol.

My stats were stRted in 2007 before I had a lapband, it was removed last June due to complications and the sleeve done in February so they look better than they are. But I've lost 20 lbs since leaving the hospital with the sleeve.

I might not be the staple for doing everything by the book, but that's not why I came here. The reason I came here is because I ate a 20oz steak and that should be physically impossible and I need to know how to bring this up to my surgeon without making him mad or making he feel like in saying he don't know what he's doing.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I would suggest that you bring it up by describing what happened and asking questions. Starting by blaming will probably not be very effective.

[Sharon1964 2,530]

Wow, some of you are right down hateful lol. I say I was talking to my dad while eating a steak for a cook out with the intentions of only have the filet mignon side and was able to consume a 20 oz steak without realizing it and I'm blasted because something might not be wrong????

Let me ask you this, can any of you eat 20 ounces of dense Protein? No? Then something is wrong lol.

Oh sweetie, you haven't begun to see anyone here be hateful.

Can any of us eat 20 ounces of Protein? I would venture that the majority of us would say, I HAVE NO IDEA BECAUSE I DIDN'T PUT THAT ON MY PLATE.

So instead of blaming the surgeon, hit the reset button and start over. Follow the plan. Measure your portions. Eat and drink what you're supposed to. It sounds like you're depending on the sleeve to force you to eat less, and since it isn't forcing, you're eating more. So take responsibility for yourself, and do what you're supposed to do.

And no, that wasn't the least bit hateful.

[Guest Renatapaz]

Everyone judging what terrible answers. Why on earth you have to start your answers like: "Now because I'm an expert, Why you want to eat so much in the first place?!!" Terrible people. You think that because you already had your sleeve and maybe it's working you have the right to talk like that to others. I will be a self pay patient in Mexico. And if my dr makes any mistakes or I don't feel happy with the size of my stomach, it's a really big thing. How do you even begin to tell the Dr that you could eat that much without insulting him/her in case you have to get it done again? Be more compassionate of the situation instead of judging so much!! ????

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[daniotra 298]

Definitely get a swallow test done. You could have a dilation of the esophagus, or your sphincter aren't working, or several other issues they may or may not be related to your surgery. Reach out to your surgeon, without being accusatory, and ask for an evaluation and help. If he won't help you, see if your primary care physician can refer you to a GI doc and find out what's going on. If there was a medical screw up, then you can get it fixed and take legal action if needed.

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[2goldengirl 2,076]

Ok, so I need to tell my surgeon he screwed up on my sleeve but don't want to do it in a way to anger him.

I was sleeved on feb 23rd and as soon as I was on solid food I knew something wasn't right, I mean out of the gate it took 3x the food to satisfy me as it did my mother and aunt who were eight months out of surgery.

Now the other day I grilled large porter house t- bones for the family and sat down at the table with the intentions on just eating off the fillet side until I was full. So I'm sitting there eating and talking to my dad when I notice I just ate an ENTIRE 20 0Z steak!

This is dience protine were talking about here, I'm suppose to get full off 4 ounces of it! Needless to say my weight loss hasn't been anything to write home about...

I know he will try blaming me for over eating and stretching it out but the fact is when I was just released on solid food and my tummy was still swollen like I said above I comfortably was able to hold 3x more that my relatives that were 8 months out.

I know I should not have tested it that soon but I wanted to see where my sleeve compared to theirs.

So how do I tell the doc that he made my sleeve wayy to large and put me through a surgery for nothing?

I do know I was the last case that day and it was 2 pm before anesthesia even came and spoke to me, the surgeon hadn't broke from lunch and I'm sure was tired but come on, I would have rather had it out off than to rush though it and mess up due to being tired.

Advise please.

Wait a minute. You say here you are certain that your surgeon "screwed up" and further, you are sure you know why. Because you've "tested" your sleeve, even before you knew you should have.

How specific were your surgeon's postop guidelines concerning volume and over that timeframe?

Were you directed to eat not more than specific amounts? Did you follow those recommendations? Did you tell your surgeon that you'd "tested" your capacity against that of relatives who were further out?

And why, in the name of all we hold dear, did you put an entire 20-oz steak on your plate in the first place? Were you not taught the things we all have - small plates, small volumes, chewing throughly, eating slowly?

You put a 20-oz steak on your plate, eat it, and have the nerve to say your surgeon "screwed up"?

Time for some ownership of your choices. You definitely should talk with your surgeon, and soon - but try listening, rather than jumping to conclusions. I was never banded, so I can't say anything from personal experience about the band-to-sleeve surgery. but undoubtedly your surgeon has information that you need. Ask. Don't tell, ask.

[Clementine Sky 708]

Surgeons have the same human emotions as the rest of us, and can go on the defensive when an accusation has been made against them. Instead of wanting to confront him, I'd approach it as confronting the issues you've experienced, and having a conversation with him about them. Ask about having some tests just to make sure everything is as it should be. Once you've gotten the results of those tests, go from there. It's possible something is amiss with your sleeve, and it's possible that for various reasons you can just consume more without feeling the same restrictions. As a younger man you're going to have different dietary needs and stomach capacity than your mom and aunt, even if you've all had the same surgery. I've noticed a variation in how much I can eat. Sometimes I get full very fast, and other times I can eat more, and it's my mind rather than my stomach that has to put on the brakes.

I do think it's good advice to try to portion out your food when you put it on your plate so that you're not going to be mindlessly eating more than intended. This is something I've had to train myself to do. If you only put a small portion on your plate, then when it's been eaten you'll have to make the conscious decision whether to add more to it. You're forced to be mindful. If you just have a lot of food on your plate, or you're grazing from a bag, then you can get distracted by conversations and the like, and keep eating until every bite is gone.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

The reason people are asking because there is no way a 20 ounce steak should even be in front of you. I wasn't even cleared to have steak until 6 months. And now at 11 months, I eat 3-4 ounces of cooked steak, that's it. I know that is how much I eat because I weigh it before I eat it, I would never put that large a portion in front of myself.

At the end of the day you are over eating and blaming it on your sleeve. Even a person with a normal stomach shouldn't be eating a 20 ounce steak. A proper portion of meat is 3-4 ounces.

Wow, some of you are right down hateful lol. I say I was talking to my dad while eating a steak for a cook out with the intentions of only have the filet mignon side and was able to consume a 20 oz steak without realizing it and I'm blasted because something might not be wrong????

[Sophie74656 1,572]

Is it possible your sugeon messed up? Of course it's possible they are only human, mistakes can happen. Is it likely? Probably not.

I can definately understand some of the outrage people are having in this post. Most of us have struggled with diet and weight loss and with surgery are trying to make lifelong changes to the way we eat and approach food. Putting a huge piece of meat pn your plate is an act that should not be part of the new healthy lifestyle we are all trying to live. But yes if you were able to eat that much it could mean something is off. From my experience if I eat one bite more than I should I will throw up

[KristenLe 5,979]

Everyone judging what terrible answers. Why on earth you have to start your answers like: "Now because I'm an expert, Why you want to eat so much in the first place?!!" Terrible people. You think that because you already had your sleeve and maybe it's working you have the right to talk like that to others. I will be a self pay patient in Mexico. And if my dr makes any mistakes or I don't feel happy with the size of my stomach, it's a really big thing. How do you even begin to tell the Dr that you could eat that much without insulting him/her in case you have to get it done again? Be more compassionate of the situation instead of judging so much!!

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I would ask how you begin to tell a Dr. that you attempted to eat that much and could. We go through a lot of pre-op education and receive post-op instructions and they are very clear that you need to reduce and monitor portion size and we should NOT be over-eating. It will be a little hard to blame a surgeon when you didn't follow post-op instructions. The OP indicated that the surgeon clearly made a mistake - and proceeded to say he ate 20 oz steak. People had input that he shouldn't have eaten that much - regardless of how much he "could" eat and that it would be advisable to discuss this with his surgeon and not immediately blame the surgeon (that won't benefit anyone). That's not judging him - it's providing solicited opinions/advice. Sorry they aren't wrapped up in a pretty bow and you don't feel they show enough "compassion".

[Dub 9,922]

Everyone judging what terrible answers. Why on earth you have to start your answers like: "Now because I'm an expert, Why you want to eat so much in the first place?!!" Terrible people. You think that because you already had your sleeve and maybe it's working you have the right to talk like that to others. I will be a self pay patient in Mexico. And if my dr makes any mistakes or I don't feel happy with the size of my stomach, it's a really big thing. How do you even begin to tell the Dr that you could eat that much without insulting him/her in case you have to get it done again? Be more compassionate of the situation instead of judging so much!!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I would ask how you begin to tell a Dr. that you attempted to eat that much and could. We go through a lot of pre-op education and receive post-op instructions and they are very clear that you need to reduce and monitor portion size and we should NOT be over-eating. It will be a little hard to blame a surgeon when you didn't follow post-op instructions. The OP indicated that the surgeon clearly made a mistake - and proceeded to say he ate 20 oz steak. People had input that he shouldn't have eaten that much - regardless of how much he "could" eat and that it would be advisable to discuss this with his surgeon and not immediately blame the surgeon (that won't benefit anyone). That's not judging him - it's providing solicited opinions/advice. Sorry they aren't wrapped up in a pretty bow and you don't feel they show enough "compassion".

Glad to see you taking this all in and getting your gameplan together for when you have your own WLS .

It is all about personal accountability, effort and discipline. None of these three can be lacking even after the sleeve tool is in place.

If we play stupid games we will win stupid prizes. Bottom line.

I know I've had my share of weak moments, but I have been able, thus far, to make them short lived and to learn from them.

You appear to be doing your homework now......beforehand. It will help you make the most out of things later on.

Some folks just don't seem to get it, though. They expect the WLS to do all the work and it will not.

[thomas1984 11]

You guys keep suggesting I set out to eat a 20 oz steak when I've made it clear that's the farthest thing from the truth!

It was on my plate because it was fresh off the grill just as every one else's was, we were at a cook out and left over meat was going home with the person it was plated to. For the 3rd time, My intention was to have the 4ish oz felet side and that's it, I did NOT set out to eat the whole thing, it just kinda happened before I realized it.

Another concern of some of you was if I am following the Drs rules, yes to the best of my knowledge I am, he has no restrictions on volume but the paper says we should eat until comfortable and no more, and to stop after 20 mins.

It does say however that our capisaty is about 1/2 cup which is clearly not the case with me.

I didn't progress to solid foods until I got the ok either.

Some of you say that we can't rely on the sleeve to reduce out intake but should rely on our will power. Are you serious? Why did you have the sleeve in the first place if you could simply rely on your own will power?

I did t come here to get slammed about having to large a piece on my plate to start with when we were away from home, having a cookout and every one was being handed the same cut of meat off the grill!

I came to ask how to bring up my concerns that it seems my sleeve is much large than it should be without making my surgeon mad.

If your gonna howl about the meat shouldn't have been there to start with please go back and real ALL my replays to this thread first!

[lorreann 2]

I haven't had my surgery yet but I do have Fibromyalga which requires a lot of doctor visits, and from my experience doctors like you to communicate with them about any problems you are having. You don't have to say he screwed up, you can just relay your appetite problems and that you aren't noticing the expected results from the surgery. It is no different than telling him about side effects from a drug he prescribed. Plus you want it documented up front just in case you require a second surgery. And you are right about one thing.....afternoon surgeries are the worst. My Dad would probably still be with me it hadn't been for an afternoon surgery. But you don't even have to mention that. Just relay the facts just like you would if a mechanic worked on your car and it still didn't run right.

[Dub 9,922]

A 1,400 calorie hunk of meat with 100 grams of fat was consumed with dinner along with whatever else.

At this point I'd not care about how to tell your surgeon.......id simply set up the appointment and throw it out there to him.

Conversations, coaching, plans moving forward need to be made.

Part of those conversations damn well should be about willpower and developing the skills that will enable you to live well by making healthy choices.

[Sharon1964 2,530]

You guys keep suggesting I set out to eat a 20 oz steak when I've made it clear that's the farthest thing from the truth!

It was on my plate because it was fresh off the grill just as every one else's was, we were at a cook out and left over meat was going home with the person it was plated to. For the 3rd time, My intention was to have the 4ish oz felet side and that's it, I did NOT set out to eat the whole thing, it just kinda happened before I realized it.

Another concern of some of you was if I am following the Drs rules, yes to the best of my knowledge I am, he has no restrictions on volume but the paper says we should eat until comfortable and no more, and to stop after 20 mins.

It does say however that our capisaty is about 1/2 cup which is clearly not the case with me.

I didn't progress to solid foods until I got the ok either.

Some of you say that we can't rely on the sleeve to reduce out intake but should rely on our will power. Are you serious? Why did you have the sleeve in the first place if you could simply rely on your own will power?

I did t come here to get slammed about having to large a piece on my plate to start with when we were away from home, having a cookout and every one was being handed the same cut of meat off the grill!

I came to ask how to bring up my concerns that it seems my sleeve is much large than it should be without making my surgeon mad.

If your gonna howl about the meat shouldn't have been there to start with please go back and real ALL my replays to this thread first!

I'm pretty sure no one said you INTENDED to eat all of that. HOWEVER, the point is, you did. You did what is referred to as "mindless eating". Every bite that goes into your mouth should be deliberate. Now you know for the future, to get a second plate, and put the extra on that plate, and set it to the side.

If your surgeon didn't give you specifics on how much to eat (and I'm astonished that he said eat until you are comfortable!!!), then some of us can tell you what our plan was, and you may wish to think about adopting it. I am to eat 1/3 cup of food at each meal. If there is green salad, I can have that in addition to my 1/3 cup of food. Between six months and 12 months post-op, I can move to 1/2 cup of food at each meal.

What this looks like in real life is this: Breakfast is one egg with a slice of cheese, or one greek yogurt. lunch and dinner are grilled chicken breast, fish, steak, pork chop, ribs, meatballs, tuna, chili, shrimp, etc. - 1/3 cup. I may have one or two bites of a green vegetable or salad. After dinner I have one sugar-free popsicle. If I have a smaller lunch, I may have a Protein bar around 3pm.

When I'm not eating, I'm getting fluids in.

I have absolutely no idea how much I can eat, because I have never tested it.