My Introduction

[Hiraeth 515]

Hello! My name is Morgan and I am 24-years-old. I decided to join this forum today to find tips, support, and progress from other members.

This will be long, because I love to talk. <3

Let me start off by saying that I am excited and scared at the same time to get the Gastric Sleeve. I'm usually a very brave person, since I've already had 5 surgeries from the ages of 16 to 24, but this will probably be the most complex surgery I decide to get. The reason I am deciding this is because at 24 and having a small frame with the small stature of 5'2'', I am ashamed to say that I have reached a shameful weight of 246 pounds. I feel awful, not just emotionally, but physically, too. I am ALWAYS tired and I'm literally sleeping my life away because I can't seem to feel rested (it could be sleep apnea). I know I have it because my mother has caught me snoring, but it's not normal snoring; it's like I'm struggling to breathe. One night I fell asleep on the phone with my ex and he was listening to me breathe. He said that I only breathed 4 times in 1 minute. That scares me. Not only am I severely overweight, but my tonsils are large, as well. So, my sleep apnea could be caused by those two reasons. I also have horrible sinus problems, and I've had 2 sinus surgeries that have not fixed the problem.

Before I turned 17, I never really had a problem with my weight, at least not to this extent. I was born premature and weighed 5.1 pounds. I was always very small up until I turned 8-years-old, (when I went through a chunky stage). By the time I turned 10, I started having severe panic attacks and anxiety. The anxiety was so bad, I convinced myself that I couldn't swallow food. I don't know if my tonsils had something to do with it, but now I'm beginning to wonder. I went several weeks without eating more than just a few bites of food daily. I lost so much weight that I was borderline anorexic. My mom was getting very worried because my ribs started to show and my face started to sink in. I must have been at least 20 pounds underweight, which is scary when it come to a child. My mother threatened to send me to the hospital so they would have to feed me through my skin. That terrified me, so I started forcing food down my throat, even if I choked a little. I eventually got over the swallowing anxiety and gained back weight. I stayed very thin up until I turned 12. I probably weighed about 130, which doesn't seem like much, but it is considering how short and small I was. When I turned 13, I was diagnosed with severe OCD and mild ADD. They prescribed me Adderall for the ADD and it killed my appetite. I lost almost 20 pounds because I skipped meals. I just wasn't hungry, and eating felt like a chore. I stayed thin up until about 16, when the Adderall appetite side effect started to wear off. I gained 30 pounds and weighed about 145-150 by the time I was in 10th grade. I wasn't fat, but I wasn't skinny either.

For some reason, at 16, i started having issues with my health. I came down with walking pneumonia and developed Vocal Chord Dysfunction (at the time, I thought it was asthma). I now have to use an inhaler constantly. I then started having problems with allergies and sinus infections. I was always sneezing, rubbing my eyes, and blowing my nose. I couldn't breathe through my nose at all. When I turned 17, my pediatrician decided to start me on a steroid pack. To this day, I regret taking them. I gained so much weight while taking steroids. I gained 50 pounds in just 3 months, weighing right under 200. One morning, I woke up and my face looked so large. I had a double chin. To this day, my double chin hasn't gone away. After that, I just couldn't stop eating junk and large amounts of food. I skipped 24 days of school because I was always so tired. I could barely function. I started getting horrible Migraines so bad, that I would vomit. I always assumed it was just allergies.

After I graduated, it was extremely hard to hold a job because of how tired I was. I managed to hold a retail job for a year. While I worked there, I noticed my vision wasn't normal. I started seeing weird, blurry spots at the corner of my right eye. It was almost as if I'd been looking at the sun and was seeing those tingly black spots. I decided to go to the eye doctor. She told me I had swollen optic nerves. She was only an Optometrist, so she couldn't diagnose why my nerves were swollen. She sent me to a Neuro-opthamologist who sent me in for an MRI. They were trying to rule out MS and a brain tumor. When the results came back, they found that I actually have Pseudotumor cerebri. Psedotumor cerebri is a condition in which the pressure on the brain is increased. It mimics a brain tumor, but there is no actual tumor present. The pressure comes from an increase in cerebral Fluid on the brain. PTC can cause permanent blindness, severe migraines, pulsatile tinnitus, dizziness, memory loss, and fatigue. I had all of these symptoms except for the blindness, where as mine was only temporary - for now. The migraines I had been getting in the past were from the PTC, not allergies. PTC is most common in obese women ages 20-45. There is a high chance that my PTC will go into remission if I lose weight. I have tried dieting at least 4 times now. I always end up failing and going right back to eating junk.

I want my life back. My weight is the main thing that makes me unhappy. If I could be a decent weight, I know I'd feel better. I haven't made an appointment yet, but I do know which surgeon I'll be using. Thank you for reading my novel, lol!

Edited June 8, 2016 by Hiraeth

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Wow, you have really been through the ringer during your short life. Welcome!

Congratulations on being willing to explore your options for getting healthy.

You mention shame, anxiety, etc. Are you currently seeing a therapist? If not, I would suggest that you see if you can find a good therapist to help you through this process. Your surgeon/insurance will most likely require a psych eval. Whoever does your evaluation may be able to refer you to someone. Your surgeon's office may also have some suggestions for referral.

How far along are you in the process? Have you found a surgeon? Started a pre-op program?

I was sleeved April 20, 2015 and have lost over 200 pounds. I still have a ways to go but I couldn't be happier with my surgery, my recovery, and my progress so far.

Keep us posted on how you are doing.

Are you being treated for your sleep apnea? That is another thing that will help you to be successful.

[Hiraeth 515]

Wow, you have really been through the ringer during your short life. Welcome!

Congratulations on being willing to explore your options for getting healthy.

You mention shame, anxiety, etc. Are you currently seeing a therapist? If not, I would suggest that you see if you can find a good therapist to help you through this process. Your surgeon/insurance will most likely require a psych eval. Whoever does your evaluation may be able to refer you to someone. Your surgeon's office may also have some suggestions for referral.

How far along are you in the process? Have you found a surgeon? Started a pre-op program?

I was sleeved April 20, 2015 and have lost over 200 pounds. I still have a ways to go but I couldn't be happier with my surgery, my recovery, and my progress so far.

Keep us posted on how you are doing.

Are you being treated for your sleep apnea? That is another thing that will help you to be successful.

Wow, you have really been through the ringer during your short life. Welcome!

Congratulations on being willing to explore your options for getting healthy.

You mention shame, anxiety, etc. Are you currently seeing a therapist? If not, I would suggest that you see if you can find a good therapist to help you through this process. Your surgeon/insurance will most likely require a psych eval. Whoever does your evaluation may be able to refer you to someone. Your surgeon's office may also have some suggestions for referral.

How far along are you in the process? Have you found a surgeon? Started a pre-op program?

I was sleeved April 20, 2015 and have lost over 200 pounds. I still have a ways to go but I couldn't be happier with my surgery, my recovery, and my progress so far.

Keep us posted on how you are doing.

Are you being treated for your sleep apnea? That is another thing that will help you to be successful.

Thank you for your very nice, and concerned response!

I have been seeing a therapist, but not for the weight gain. I was seeing one for the OCD and anxiety, and they prescribed me with Lexapro. Ever sense I started taking it, I hardly ever have anxiety or panic attacks. It really has helped. But I heard it makes people eat - go figure, lol. The Lexapro has given me my spirited, outgoing self back. But I still have low self-esteem issues with my appearance. I know I'm attractive, but my weight is making me feel like I'm not myself.

I am not at all in the process, besides making the decision to do it. If the Bypass were the only surgery available, I probably wouldn't have weight loss surgery at all. I heard the Sleeve is a bit safer. At this point, I'm going to have severe health issues in the future if I don't get the weight off. I have found a surgeon. His ratings are 4.8 stars out of 5, which is great! I called and left a voicemail at his office, but no one has returned my call. So, I think I'm going to give them a call in a few minutes.

I am not being treated for sleep apnea. I haven't had a diagnosis yet, but I am almost certain that's what I have. The only thing is, I've heard you don't remember your dreams when you have sleep apnea; but I almost always remember mine, and have them frequently.

WOW!! 200 pounds in a year?! Congratulations! That is so nice to hear. I am so happy for you. That is like 16 pounds per month! Have you had to continuously replace your clothes? Lol! As much as that would probably cost a lot of money to replace that many wardrobes, I'm actually looking forward to it. I still have a ton of clothes saved from high school that I hope to be able to wear again, since I haven't grown a single inch since I was 15.

A few things that I am wondering about are my gastritis and PCOS. I found out I have gastritis, which is when the lining of the stomach is inflamed. I'm wondering if this will be a problem. I know you're not a doctor. I'm just hoping the surgery will maybe even improve my stomach problems. I also have PCOS which can cause women to gain weight. Do you have that?

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Wow, you have really been through the ringer during your short life. Welcome!

Congratulations on being willing to explore your options for getting healthy.

You mention shame, anxiety, etc. Are you currently seeing a therapist? If not, I would suggest that you see if you can find a good therapist to help you through this process. Your surgeon/insurance will most likely require a psych eval. Whoever does your evaluation may be able to refer you to someone. Your surgeon's office may also have some suggestions for referral.

How far along are you in the process? Have you found a surgeon? Started a pre-op program?

I was sleeved April 20, 2015 and have lost over 200 pounds. I still have a ways to go but I couldn't be happier with my surgery, my recovery, and my progress so far.

Keep us posted on how you are doing.

Are you being treated for your sleep apnea? That is another thing that will help you to be successful.

Wow, you have really been through the ringer during your short life. Welcome!

Congratulations on being willing to explore your options for getting healthy.

You mention shame, anxiety, etc. Are you currently seeing a therapist? If not, I would suggest that you see if you can find a good therapist to help you through this process. Your surgeon/insurance will most likely require a psych eval. Whoever does your evaluation may be able to refer you to someone. Your surgeon's office may also have some suggestions for referral.

How far along are you in the process? Have you found a surgeon? Started a pre-op program?

I was sleeved April 20, 2015 and have lost over 200 pounds. I still have a ways to go but I couldn't be happier with my surgery, my recovery, and my progress so far.

Keep us posted on how you are doing.

Are you being treated for your sleep apnea? That is another thing that will help you to be successful.

Thank you for your very nice, and concerned response!

I have been seeing a therapist, but not for the weight gain. I was seeing one for the OCD and anxiety, and they prescribed me with Lexapro. Ever sense I started taking it, I hardly ever have anxiety or panic attacks. It really has helped. But I heard it makes people eat - go figure, lol. The Lexapro has given me my spirited, outgoing self back. But I still have low self-esteem issues with my appearance. I know I'm attractive, but my weight is making me feel like I'm not myself.

I am not at all in the process, besides making the decision to do it. If the Bypass were the only surgery available, I probably wouldn't have weight loss surgery at all. I heard the Sleeve is a bit safer. At this point, I'm going to have severe health issues in the future if I don't get the weight off. I have found a surgeon. His ratings are 4.8 stars out of 5, which is great! I called and left a voicemail at his office, but no one has returned my call. So, I think I'm going to give them a call in a few minutes.

I am not being treated for sleep apnea. I haven't had a diagnosis yet, but I am almost certain that's what I have. The only thing is, I've heard you don't remember your dreams when you have sleep apnea; but I almost always remember mine, and have them frequently.

WOW!! 200 pounds in a year?! Congratulations! That is so nice to hear. I am so happy for you. That is like 16 pounds per month! Have you had to continuously replace your clothes? Lol! As much as that would probably cost a lot of money to replace that many wardrobes, I'm actually looking forward to it. I still have a ton of clothes saved from high school that I hope to be able to wear again, since I haven't grown a single inch since I was 15.

A few things that I am wondering about are my gastritis and PCOS. I found out I have gastritis, which is when the lining of the stomach is inflamed. I'm wondering if this will be a problem. I know you're not a doctor. I'm just hoping the surgery will maybe even improve my stomach problems. I also have PCOS which can cause women to gain weight. Do you have that?

I don't have PCOS but your surgeon should take everything into account when recommending a procedure.

I have never heard that people with sleep apnea can't remember their dreams. I never noticed that. Other than WLS, being treated for sleep apnea has been the best thing I have done for my health. Getting good, restful sleep is critical. Your surgeon and/or insurance will most likely require a sleep study and treatment.

I don't spend a lot of money on clothes. I am not working so I am still wearing old clothes (I have a lot of basic dresses). I do make sure I have a bathing suit that fits: I started with a size 32 and my current suit is a tankini with a top size 20 and a bottom sized 24. I have buy a couple of new skirts and tops periodically so I have something to wear in public. Not long after surgery I bought underwear in three sizes so I always have underwear that fits. I just bought a packet of the next size down. I bought a couple of new bras a while back. I am due to get a new bra.

I know a lot of people buy clothes at thrift and consignment shops while they are transitioning.

One other thing, I recommend you make sure you use a surgeon who is at a Bariatric Center of Excellence.

[Hiraeth 515]

I don't have PCOS but your surgeon should take everything into account when recommending a procedure.

I have never heard that people with sleep apnea can't remember their dreams. I never noticed that. Other than WLS, being treated for sleep apnea has been the best thing I have done for my health. Getting good, restful sleep is critical. Your surgeon and/or insurance will most likely require a sleep study and treatment.

I don't spend a lot of money on clothes. I am not working so I am still wearing old clothes (I have a lot of basic dresses). I do make sure I have a bathing suit that fits: I started with a size 32 and my current suit is a tankini with a top size 20 and a bottom sized 24. I have buy a couple of new skirts and tops periodically so I have something to wear in public. Not long after surgery I bought underwear in three sizes so I always have underwear that fits. I just bought a packet of the next size down. I bought a couple of new bras a while back. I am due to get a new bra.

I know a lot of people buy clothes at thrift and consignment shops while they are transitioning.

One other thing, I recommend you make sure you use a surgeon who is at a Bariatric Center of Excellence.

Yes, I heard that letting your doctor know about all your weight related issues are crucial, especially when it comes to insurance coverage. They usually cover 85% of my medical procedures, but considering all the things going on, they may decide to cover more.

I have a friend who works for a CPAP company. She said something about not remembering dreams, which is odd. My mom has it, too, and she always remembers her dreams. Not sure why she said that. So you have sleep apnea? Did you always feel extremely tired and unmotivated? I have an appointment to see a sleep apnea doctor later this month.

You're lucky that you don't have to buy very many new clothes. I work for the city, so I will probably have to. The Thrift Store sounds like a great idea! I never buy bathing suits. I look horrible in them. I'm not the typical "gain weight everywhere" type of person. I gain weight mostly in my stomach. I have had so many people (5 to be exact) as me if I'm pregnant. I'll admit, I do look pregnant because my legs are not those of an overweight person. They have gotten bigger, but they are not fat. My face, stomach, and breasts are what gain the most weight. I had a breast reduction a couple of years ago, and I feel so much better. I went from a DDD to a C, and they took off 11 pounds of firm tissue/fat.

What does Bariatric of Excellence mean? His name is Dr. Lee Schmitt of Alabama Weight Loss Surgery. They hold public and online seminars. I'm actually about to watch it. Could you give me a quick explanation of the process I'll have to make? Thanks so much!