Is your surgery a secret?

[Sarellen5 27]

I am keeping it a secret The only ones who know are my husband, mom and aunt. I just want to keep it private. I think you should do what makes you feel comfortable in life. When I lose the weight I am telling people it's through low carb and exercise. I have been in situations where I wasn't drinking and instead of saying I am not drinking I just held it and then switched glasses with my husband.There is ways to be subtle and not draw attention to yourself.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

The decision to tell or not tell about your WLS is a big decision. Its worthy of careful consideration because of its implications for your personal and professional lives.

I am not a "teller." I don't care whether people tell or not.

More pertinent to the last half of this thread, it's really not my business to plow through and approve or disapprove of the complexities of WHY those who tell tell and WHY those who don't tell don't tell. I don't think their reasons or circumstances or personalities or values are translatable to my own.

BTW, the story about how some PCOS sufferers feel pressured to "be transparent" (code language for "don't lie") about having become pregnant through IVF suggests to me there is a bigger phenomenon here than applies only to WLS.

What it seems to boil down to is that it bothers some people that everyone doesn't think or decide like they do. Yeah, those folks are a pain.

But worse are the shit-stirrers in every community. They are seldom the most verbose people in a debate. They drop in like wasps and sting someone and then flit around chuckling. In my book those folks are the most destructive in any community. They take joy in pitting folks against each other. Once you recognize them, it makes life online easier. Protip: They're often quite sanctimonious.

We won't always agree. We don't have to. My decision for my reasons probably isn't one you should copy because you're not me.

Finally, if you're looking for agreement on the internet you won't find it on any message board, including Bariatric Pal. Sorry if you thought that was an option here.

[Babbs 14,681]

@@VSGAnn2014

I heart you.

[Kindle 8,667]

@@VSGAnn2014I heart you.

Well who doesn't?

[lessismore4me 47]

I just got scheduled for surgery on June 28th! Yeah! Go for pre-op appointment tomorrow. I just told my boss at work about it. BUT, I am a college professor so all my students will want to know what is going on, so I have decided to be up front with people. I am not going to keep it a secret. If they ask I will tell them. If they don't I won't say anything.

Sent from my SM-G925V using the BariatricPal App

[Ley 13]

Order an appetizer as the meal. Soup is good too. Even an entree and take most of it home. My son will always eat my leftovers.

I hve told a few ppl at work. Since the doctor found a huge hernia n removed it, i say that i hve stomach problems and cannot eat most stuff anymore for now.

Sent from my SM-N900T using the BariatricPal App

[spazniche 12]

I am keeping my WLS to myself because I don't want to hear all the bs that people have to say and the dumb questions that come with them. And I don't need ppl dieting for me or telling me what I need to eat or do, etc. I took a page right from another friend who had the surgery. I had to have a mass removed and its pretty routine. It isn't a lie and simple. Leaves no real questions to be answered beyond, no its not cancerous.

[killerqueen 8]

I just got scheduled for surgery on June 28th! Yeah! Go for pre-op appointment tomorrow. I just told my boss at work about it. BUT, I am a college professor so all my students will want to know what is going on, so I have decided to be up front with people. I am not going to keep it a secret. If they ask I will tell them. If they don't I won't say anything.

Sent from my SM-G925V using the BariatricPal App

@@lessismore4me We're surgery twins - I'm scheduled for June 28th too!

I'm keeping it secret except for my parents, roommates, and my "work wife". I'm a very private person, on the small side of obese, and also very young, so I know that I'd probably get many comments attempting to dissuade me from my decision (that, coincidentally, my doctors and insurance agree with me on)!

I don't want anyone to say I "took the easy way out" - I struggle with binge eating disorder and PCOS, which is a deadly combo for weight loss/gain, so I'm strongly hoping this will be the tool I need to take back control in the long term and prevent weight-related health issues later in life. I have been eating low-carb on and off for several years with decent results so it won't be a stretch telling those who ask that I've recommitted to the ketogenic diet.

[lessismore4me 47]

That is really great. It sounds like you have really thought this through and are ready to take the next steps. I honor your decision to keep things quiet. It is after all your decision to make and carryout.

Sent from my SM-G925V using the BariatricPal App

[nawar 6]

I'm finished all my pre op duties for my insurance and I'm waiting on the approval! (Yay)!! But I'm in a little dilemma. I haven't told anyone about my surgery except my mom, fiance, and one friend months ago.

Did you tell anyone? I don't know why I'm not. I think I may be in denial about needing the surgery and I feel upset I couldn't lose the weight without this tool.

Also, I've been up at night trying to figure out what I'm going to tell the people at my work when I have to leave for 1-3 weeks...

Just feeling stressed...

Sent from my SM-G900T using the BariatricPal App

i did it secretly too.. only my smaller sister.. even my family.. i told them i did a surgery to my esophagus reflux.. and remember it is ur own issue.. and u dont have to tell anyone

Sent from my SM-N920C using the BariatricPal App

[165B445 188]

Is there a law that you have to tell ppl your having wt loss surgery???? I'm old school and some things to me are still private... I guess depends on the person... if they want to shout it from the mtn tops OR only tell GOD, it's your choice... but your secret safe with me.. .lol

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G530AZ using the BariatricPal App

[jersey0601 99]

Edited to just say thanks to all on the thread - thanks for showing both sides

Edited June 10, 2016 by jersey0601

[sheronep 9]

My surgery is a secret to the masses, but my immediate family and a few friends know. My mother has an issue with me going to Mexico but I don't care. My decision. My health.

Sent from my SM-N910V using the BariatricPal App

[Bobby'sGirl 34]

I've only told my immediate family and my supervisors at work. I think I'm the same way and want to see some results first.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

My surgery is a secret to the masses, but my immediate family and a few friends know. My mother has an issue with me going to Mexico but I don't care. My decision. My health.

Sent from my SM-N910V using the BariatricPal App

ABSOLUTELY!