Is your surgery a secret?

[Tara1992 79]

Hi all, I'm newbie and am surprised at the level of hostility and arguments on here. Most of them come down to religion, I'm an atheist and don't particularly like people saying things to me like 'I'll pray for you' or basically mentioning religion in anyway shape of form. It offends me. But that's me and my opinion, I don't complain about it to them. It comes from a nice, meaningful place for that person. Why does everything seem to degenerate to some form of argument which is of no use to any of us here to seek advice and support. Think I'll be signing off. This forum appears to have a lot of helpful caring people and a handful of narky, miserable, trouble causers and it's not what I need to waste my time reading right now. Thanks for the helpfulness and positivity from most of you. Ciao for now

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I whole heartedly agree. I came on here to find advise, relieve some stress and connect with people in a similar situation as I am in. The amount of hostility around here is unsettling. I'll have to put a pre-lude to my next thread... PLEASE NO HOSTILITY OR BICKERING. I feel bad for some people who are coming on here to get away from other stressors and actually get relief/ answers.

It can all be avoided by people moving on and not posting... If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all! If you think this thread will end up being a heap of shit that you've been involved in before, KEEP MOVING. No one forces anyone to throw intolerences around.

I hope it gets better from here, because I've seen this nonsense on a few threads.

On the other hand, thank you to all the people who genuinely answer, stay on topic, and care.

Sent from my SM-G900T using the BariatricPal App

[CHM 1,009]

...hate cats...I can recite pi to the 56th digit... I drive with the radio off because I enjoy the silence.

My girl crush is growing...

Not that the rest of your accomplishments aren't awesome, but what can I say...I'm just not that deep.

*Taking orders for popcorn and drinks*

Darn, can't have popcorn, can't have soda, can't drink through a straw, can't have chocolate, can't have chips......

Whats the point of going to the movies now!!

*sits quietly eating a cheese stick*

How dare you dis cheese! Cheese is by FAR the best thing on that list!!

Even better than straws. And we all know my position on straws...

Now, to contribute to the topic, add me to the list of non-sharers. I am not ashamed. I am not intentionally trying to claim full credit for my loss (although in my case, the largest chunk of it was actually BEFORE surgery). I simply know myself and I believe I know those around me. I cannot handle negativity. At all. I take opinions and comments personally. Even in my mid-30's, I still care what people think of me. I care if I'm liked. I always will. That's just the type of person I am.

I told my then-husband and his parents because it was necessary. Word leaked to his extended family and, while I was met with no direct negativity, my weight loss was all anyone ever wanted to know about. Not a gathering could be attended without having to field questions of how much I'd lost, or squirm away from those who thought it appropriate to touch my emerging collar bones or pull on my clothes to demonstrate how loose they were getting.

I also told an old friend who'd had WLS a year before I'd decided to because - great as you forum folk are - I thought I could benefit from knowing someone personally who had been through it. And I have.

Fortunately with divorce came a clean slate. Now the only one who knows, aside from the aforementioned friend, is my mother. Given my own history of eating disorders, she needed to know that my odd habits, tiny portions and bites, and shunning of entire food groups is not cause for alarm as the re-emergence of old habits. Aside from being relieved that I'm not sick, she didn't really seem to want to know and hasn't mentioned it since. And I'm more than happy with that.

If anyone else asks, I will lie by omission. Working with a team of weight-loss specialists, high protein/low-carb diet, calorie restriction and Portion Control, increased activity, blah blah blah. The only way I can see myself sharing further is if someone directly tells me that they are considering WLS, I really like them, and I'm at least 95% certain that they are not a gossip.

[NeedaBreak4Me 1,755]

Okay... so i have been sitting back quietly reading this thread without any damn popcorn..... and i will add my 2 cents worth from being on both the teller and non teller side.

I haven't told anyone other than my family and 1 close friend... and i don't plan to tell anyone else.

For me its not that i am ashamed, i just don't need the additional pressure and judgement from people.

When i had the band previously i told the world... and i regretted it... there was too much pressure. .. i would get judged... like if i ate something naughty, if i hadn't lost enough weight, if i attended a social function the people would watch to see what i was ordering and what i was eating.

I got sick of being labelled the wls person, everything revolved around my food and weight loss

.. i was not seen as me anymore.. but as the fat friend/colleague/acquaintance who got skinny and took the easy way out.

This time around i decided i would only tell the people closest to me and that i know will love me for me... not for my size.

I decided that i would tell the truth.. i am eating low carb, smaller portions and exercising.

I do not need anyone invalidating my hard work this time around.

Regardless of whether someone is a teller or non teller it is your body, your choice and what you do is no ones business especially anyone who is a screen name on a thread who doesn't know you from a bar of soap.

There is no right or wrong choice or answer.... and everyone should respect other peoples personal choices.

*chomps on her cheese stick dramatically*

Edited June 9, 2016 by AussieGirl81

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

Greetings all...

KindaFamiliar here...

I'm a teller and I've a few things I'd like to say...

Tellers are good...

Non-tellers are good..

Cats are bad...

cheese is great!!

Figs are bad...

"Showing your ass" is good...

Bedazzled ass is better...

Shaming people is bad...

Feeling ashamed is equally bad...

Being wrong is ok... (Apparently... I wouldn't know as it's yet to happen to me)

'Verbiage' is a great word...

'Disparages' is also a great word...

O'Doyle Rules!!

"Prayers going up" seems somewhat arrogant and is actually offensive to me...

I can only recite Pi to nine decimal places...

Did I mention "Cheese is great"?

Some of you really suck at using the 'Quote' feature...

Speaking of quotes, for some reason, I find the lack of punctuation between the end of the quote and the name of the person to whom the quote is attributed,at the end of each post by @ somewhat distressing...

I'm also pretty certain I misused a comma in the previous point...

2nd grade crushes are GOOD!!!

@@CHM is kinda cute and smrt and stuff...

'Smart' is intentionally misspelled above - It's a Simpsons reference!!!

It's dinner time...

pizza and Coke anyone?

[NeedaBreak4Me 1,755]

@@KindaFamiliar

Yes.. cheese is good... but when have you brought cheese prior to wls to the movies huh??

Actually i did that the other day... i went to the movies and took string cheese with me lol

And im assuming the not knowing how yo quote is directed at me... at least i tried right hahaha gold star for effort right???

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

@

Wasn't thinking of you when I mentioned the 'quote' thing...

I am now tho!!!

I've never combined cheese and movies...

I did take cheese into a meeting yesterday...

And crackers...

And I munched them during the meeting...

Not sure why I'm telling you all this...

Oh wait...

I'm a teller!!!

[CHM 1,009]

@

I take beef Jerky to the movies. I've never thought of stashing cheese in my purse to take along. It is a common 'car' snack though.

@@KindaFamiliar

I'll share a pizza and Coke with you. I'll be needing a straw though.

[NeedaBreak4Me 1,755]

@@CHM

I thought about taking jerky... but i am little cautious of it as i am still so early out... i think it might be too dry at this stage.

I love going to the movies, that was one time i did actually have a food ritual... i would always have popcorn, and dark chocolate and a bottle of Water.< /p>

I wonder what else we can supplement instead... cheese, Jerky, roasted chickpeas/broad Beans (im obsessed with the roasted chickpeas atm... a salty high Protein fix.. feels like im being naughty... but im not)

[CHM 1,009]

@

Ah yes, I did not notice how soon post-surgery you are. I didn't start Jerky until 3 months out.

I've never tried roasted chickpeas. I'll have to look for them. I DO like my Snacks salty.

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

@@CHM

You eat pizza with a straw???

Did you blend your cheeseburgers while you were on liquids too??

On a more relevant note -

Tell me...

[Read2016 658]

@kindafamiliar... So happy to hear you find my quote somewhat distressing, a clear sign you have a stress free life otherwise.

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them"

Einstein

[CHM 1,009]

@@CHM

You eat pizza with a straw???

Did you blend your cheeseburgers while you were on liquids too??

For the Coke you weirdo!

And not much of a burger fan.

On a more relevant note -

Tell me...

You know...

[NeedaBreak4Me 1,755]

@

Ah yes, I did not notice how soon post-surgery you are. I didn't start Jerky until 3 months out.

I've never tried roasted chickpeas. I'll have to look for them. I DO like my Snacks salty.

Yeah... still 6 weeks, going onto 7... but a wls veteran of 6 years.... there isn't much that i didn't go through when i had my previous surgery... so i know to stay away

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

@

I DO have a stress free life...

I attribute that to not really giving a f*ck about too much...

That's why I come here...

Here, everyone is all up in everyone else's sh*t...

It just makes me glad I'm me...

PS - Little horses are funny...

(That should have been in my list earlier...)

Tellers rule!!!

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

@@CHM

You're right, I DO know...

Creep...