Is your surgery a secret?

[Kindle 8,667]

Just FYI, I did not use the term conscience with any sort of religious implications. I meant it simply as a personal measurement of what an individual feels is right or wrong. Acting in accordance with your conscious leaves you with feelings of morality, integrity and psychological balance. Acting against your own conscious leads to feelings of guilt, shame or self loathing. My reference to the term was quite secular.

[Valentina 2,642]

Prayers going up for people who use their religion for passive aggressive purposes.

Your God might approve, but mine certainly would not.

You don't know me nor my beliefs.

May God forgive you for your mockery of me and my prayers.

Prayers going up--especially for you, LipstickLady.

PS: Is this enough, Alex Brecher??

Where did I say I was talking about/to you?

Please. Block me. I seem to distress you.

You just did.

Prayers going up for you.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

You just did.

Prayers going up for people who use their religion for passive aggressive purposes.

Your God might approve, but mine certainly would not.

You don't know me nor my beliefs.

May God forgive you for your mockery of me and my prayers.

Prayers going up--especially for you, LipstickLady.

PS: Is this enough, Alex Brecher??

Where did I say I was talking about/to you?

Please. Block me. I seem to distress you.

Prayers going up for you.

No, I didn't. Nice try!!

[Read2016 658]

This is just an observation, it seems some threads turn into tension based on which posters are involved... Does anyone else notice a pattern?

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them"

Einstein

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I think some people purposefully disagree with whatever certain people say no matter what it might be. I'm flattered, personally. It's like a 2nd grade crush.

[Guest sydneyjonno]

Hi all, I'm newbie and am surprised at the level of hostility and arguments on here. Most of them come down to religion, I'm an atheist and don't particularly like people saying things to me like 'I'll pray for you' or basically mentioning religion in anyway shape of form. It offends me. But that's me and my opinion, I don't complain about it to them. It comes from a nice, meaningful place for that person. Why does everything seem to degenerate to some form of argument which is of no use to any of us here to seek advice and support. Think I'll be signing off. This forum appears to have a lot of helpful caring people and a handful of narky, miserable, trouble causers and it's not what I need to waste my time reading right now. Thanks for the helpfulness and positivity from most of you. Ciao for now

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Edited June 9, 2016 by sydneyjonno

[Shaydi.Laine 237]

This thread has gotten silly. Way too much drama over nothing. Moving on...

[reachbree 140]

So I told my Mom which I kinda regret because of course I did get a bunch of grief from her. With that being said, as of right now the only 2 that know is my Hubby and Mom. I dont need the negativity at this time when I should excited about this and preparing myself. My family are pretty healthy and don't believe in wls because according to them its unecessary and all you need is a GF diet!!!! ugh....definitely not telling anyone at work, told the bosses I was having surgery, Point. Blank.

[reachbree 140]

LOVE THIS!!!!!

I'm not telling the nosey women at work that already comment on everyone's lunch. And when they ask about my weight loss I'll say yes I am losing weight, but enough about my weight let's talk about yours.

[Kindle 8,667]

Hi all, I'm newbie and am surprised at the level of hostility and arguments on here. Most of them come down to religion, I'm an atheist and don't particularly like people saying things to me like 'I'll pray for you' or basically mentioning religion in anyway shape of form. It offends me. But that's me and my opinion, I don't complain about it to them. It comes from a nice, meaningful place for that person. Why does everything seem to degenerate to some form of argument which is of no use to any of us here to seek advice and support. Think I'll be signing off. This forum appears to have a lot of helpful caring people and a handful of narky, miserable, trouble causers and it's not what I need to waste my time reading right now. Thanks for the helpfulness and positivity from most of you. Ciao for now Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Hey, stick around. This forum is more entertaining than TV and cheaper than going to a movie.

[BrittBeef 4]

I'm starting the process and I'm not going to be telling anyone who doesn't need to know, only close family and friends. I don't want to hear people's unsolicited opinions about it.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Sugarnspice 150]

Hi all, I'm newbie and am surprised at the level of hostility and arguments on here. Most of them come down to religion, I'm an atheist and don't particularly like people saying things to me like 'I'll pray for you' or basically mentioning religion in anyway shape of form. It offends me. But that's me and my opinion, I don't complain about it to them. It comes from a nice, meaningful place for that person. Why does everything seem to degenerate to some form of argument which is of no use to any of us here to seek advice and support. Think I'll be signing off. This forum appears to have a lot of helpful caring people and a handful of narky, miserable, trouble causers and it's not what I need to waste my time reading right now. Thanks for the helpfulness and positivity from most of you. Ciao for now

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Hello,

I'm also a newbie to this whole process. I was shocked also to some of the antics on this board. I really thought it would be a more supportive group of people with that being said in less than maybe 4 days I have learned a lot & many people are very informative & supportive of each other.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Clementine Sky 708]

Edit - I was quoting two posts, but for some odd reason the quote boxes vanished from when I hit submit. I did go back and put quotes around their posts to separate them from mine, but they don't include the users' names to credit them. I'm sorry. I'm sure this is a user malfunction.

I'm a private person to begin with. Only my husband and bff knows. I don't like being asked a lot of questions nor have I ever inspired to be a poster child for anything. I'm very thankful for all those who do share thier journey publicly because it has helped to know what to expect. Kudos to them. As for me, I'm keeping it to myself but don't mind answering questions through this type of social media that allows you to keep your identity private.

Sent from my XT1080 using the BariatricPal App

My thoughts exactly. I support those who genuinely want to share about their WLS, or anything else that is significant to their life, and I hope they receive positive responses that are helpful and empowering. We all have different ways of processing our experiences and various comfort levels with what we disclose. Some of us are extroverts, and some introverts. I just don't view telling others outside of those who truly need to know as an imperative or a morally superior choice to opting to keep it private. I wouldn't want anyone who had a desire to share about their surgery to feel that they shouldn't, and I wouldn't want anyone who doesn't want to share to feel that they should. I do think it's important to assess your own needs, and to consider how others who are important to your life will respond if you do disclose your surgery. Some have deeply regretted sharing; some have wished they'd shared sooner.

I used to be active on forums for women with PCOS and infertility issues (PCOS and infertility are why I had the VSG even though my BMI was under 35), and there has been a tiny bit of debate (not anywhere near the frequency or with the vehemence as with WLS) about whether women who've become pregnant via IVF should reveal that, or just let people assume they conceived the "natural" way. I view WLS as being on the same train of thought with whether or not to share. It's also intimate. There's no reason to be embarrassed about having IVF, just as there is no reason to be embarrassed about having WLS. Most people (outside of spouses, physicians) don't have a right to know about either, but if you want them to know, then by all means let them know. I've never discussed my weight or WLS on my personal social media pages, but I've tried to put my experiences to use on this forum and to help others. That way those who are seeking out information and advice can find it, and I'll try to do my best to help, but I'm still protecting my privacy.

Husband and my mum only. Very, very glad as I have read some hideous stories of the negative, judgmental comments others have received. Many are strong enough to cope with this, I felt I had enough on my plate recovering from surgery and learning a new way of living.

Think carefully about this. You can always later confide in people, but you can't pull it back if you have already told people.

I think the bolded part of your post is so very wise. Once you've revealed something private, it's no longer within your power to take the reigns and control which direction it is steered in. You cannot prevent others from sharing it indiscriminately, and you cannot dictate how anyone else will respond. I'm a professor at a major university with a massive student body, and two years ago when I was a newbie I fainted in front of my class because of taking a medication that lowered my blood pressure too much. I was horrified to later learn that my fainting had been speculated about on the popular app Yik Yak. It allows people in a certain geographical area to anonymously post for others in that "herd" to read. People asked why I fainted, which was to be expected. What shocked me was that someone revealed in response to that question that I'd recently miscarried, and conjectured that maybe that was the reason. I'd only told a handful of close friends my age who'd been PhDs at the same time and were also teaching. One of them must of told someone else, who told someone else, who then broadcast that to the entire community of thousands. It's not something shameful in the least, but it was so intensely personal. It felt like a violation.

On a happier note, there was recently a Yak about the hottest professors on campus and I got "nominated." (Silly thing to be so elated about, I know, but still it gave my confidence a boost). Someone then wrote that I used to be a "fattie" but am now hot, and asked how I'd lost so much weight. Another responded that I was always biking all over campus, and am seen in the gym a lot. By the "up votes" that post got, it was a satisfactory response. And it's one that is totally true. When I read that Yak I was thinking - thank goodness I never revealed to a soul on this campus that I've had the VSG, because it would likely then be broadcast to everyone.

Edited June 9, 2016 by Clementine Sky

[NeedaBreak4Me 1,755]

[/url]Hey, stick around. This forum is more entertaining than TV and cheaper than going to a movie.

*Taking orders for popcorn and drinks*

Darn, can't have popcorn, can't have soda, can't drink through a straw, can't have chocolate, can't have chips......

Whats the point of going to the movies now!!

*sits quietly eating a cheese stick*

[Tara1992 79]

It is really simple as the following;

You tell, great!

You don't tell, great!

All the other bickering is just hot air.

So true and very simple!!

Edited June 9, 2016 by taraisthebest