Outed

[homew6kids 0]

So, I have a good friend who is in my night school group. This group meets every Tuesday night for 22 months as we work toward a psychology degree. I REALLY did not want to let everyone in the group know about my band. I had my band done on 8/6, and went to class on 8/7 to sit for 4 hours - hopped up on pain meds, and dragging my pillow to clutch to my poor tummy, and my mother to drive me home.

Well, when I talked to this one friend (whom I did tell - after the fact) about the band, she said, "Well, I told a few of the others. I hope you don't mind." What the heck was I supposed to say? "Yeah! I sure as heck DO mind!" I wasn't mad exactly, because she's the sweetest person, and it just didn't occur to her that it was a "secret". I'm not even sure - IS it a secret? :kiss

I'm just confused and a bit irritated and a lot hungry and sore and pissed that I mind so much that people know. :phanvan

Guess I'm just venting...

Thanks for listening!:nervous

[GayleTX 1]

No heavier than you are, people are not going to be all that intersted in it unless they themselves are considering surgery....that has been the group I've gotten the most questions from. In that case, you'll have an opportunity to help someone out. But, yes, it's irritating....if you wanted it told you would like to have done it yourself in your own time.

[kacee 3]

I wouldn't worry about it. I know a lot of people would prefer to be private about it, but this is a rather life changing event and it is pretty hard to hide. I also find that if I don't tell people and I suddenly start losing a bunch of weight...no one will say anything for fear that you are sick (not trying to lose weight) and even if you were to go from 300 to 150 overnight they won't say a WORD about it for fear of getting into an awkward situation. Personally if I see someone losing weight I want to go up and say WAY TO GO!!!! but if it is someone who has never lost weight in the past, has always been big...secretly in my mind I go (Geez, what if I congratulate them and they have cancer or something!). If they know it is an intentional act, they tend to say things like "You GO girlfriend!" and give you encouragement.

[claramae 0]

I am retired and not in a work suitation. However, I was wanting to keep it a secret in the family. I did tell my step daughter who has had a lap band. Well word spread like wild fire through the family. But it was my foolish pride that was not wanting to admit that I needed help in loosing this weight. Hold your head up high. My band is scheduled for August 27th.

[TerriDoodle 6]

It's unfortunate that you're so upset...but you should have made it very clear to the people that you did tell that you want it to be kept a private matter and you will tell who you WANT to tell in your own time. Oh well, it's not the end of the world! Don't let it mess up your recovery and this exciting time in your life!

[NanaRenan 0]

Remember, you did something that MILLIONS need and are either too afraid to get it or can't afford to get it.

And it seems to me it would be a great topic for discussion with a psych group because there's SO much psychology involved in weight issues.

But then I'm pretty much an open book kinda gal. What you see is what you get, nothing held back. Not everyone is willing or able to put it all out there like that...and I'm not bragging or anything. It's just my particular way of coping with my own issues.

But -- all that aside -- even though I think its all great to be open and up front, if someone told me something, I would keep it in confidence until they told me otherwise.

[homew6kids 0]

It's unfortunate that you're so upset...but you should have made it very clear to the people that you did tell that you want it to be kept a private matter and you will tell who you WANT to tell in your own time. Oh well, it's not the end of the world! Don't let it mess up your recovery and this exciting time in your life!

I wasn't really so upset about it, but I would like to be able to discuss it in my own time. I don't plan to keep it entirely to myself, but there are certainly those I DO NOT need to tell. People who do not really care about me do not need to know about the things that matter deeply to me. You know? Not all people are really all that nice. That's just my experience.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

It's unfortunate that you're so upset...but you should have made it very clear to the people that you did tell that you want it to be kept a private matter and you will tell who you WANT to tell in your own time. Oh well, it's not the end of the world! Don't let it mess up your recovery and this exciting time in your life!

Yep, what Terri wrote.

[kacee 3]

NanaRenan...you and I sound very similar. I have pretty much told everyone (including my pharmacist...who was fascinated) and I have had a LOT of people shyly come to me and ask for the details, which I am more than happy to reveal, including my incision scars (I know...I have no shame at all hahaha!). I know I have helped some people. My GP's assistant (of all people!) was totally unaware of the band. I told her all about it and how much I liked my doctor and she asked me for his name and gave his business card to a friend of hers who is in the same predicament. I look at it this way...it will never be an awkward situation unless I LET it be so (and I won't), and the only other thing that can come of it is educating someone else and opening their eyes.

[kacee 3]

And by the way Nana....how are you doing in your recovery!?