Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Boss asked what I was having surgery for.....



Recommended Posts

Her question violates the rules around ADA, ACA, HIPPA and FMlLA. You could file a complaint

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

it does NOT violate any of those except FMLA rules. HIPPA would only apply if her boss tried to look at records without permission. ADA only applies where there is a documented disability, which WLS is not in of it's self that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry -- the ACA (Affordable Care Act) doesn't apply here either!

In any event it's inappropriate if asked in an official sense, and she didn't push the point so there isn't much to complain about. Better if it comes up again since she's a newly minted supervisor and also a friend to say "you know, as a supervisor you can get in trouble with HR asking about this sort of thing -- we're friends but don't let someone else file a complaint because you made this mistake".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You can just say gallbladder surgery

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It sounds like you handled it fine.

Just tell her you prefer to keep your healthcare decisions private and thank her for her concern.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You don't have to lie, but you don't have to tell everything you know. Benjamin Franklin said,


"To whom thy secrets thou doest tell, to him thy freedom thou doest sell."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is a very sensitive thing. I did not tell anyone except my husband what was going on. I lied a little bit to my boss I told him I was having surgery to remove scar tissue from my stomach which the doctor actually did take care of while in there. I had colon cancer about 12 years ago and have had some trouble with scar tissue so it wasnt an all out lie but not the main reason for surgery. I just didnt want to hear that I was taking the easy way out. we all know this is not easy. I had internal bleeding and almost died from this surgery and had two blood transfusions. I did throw up for about 8 weeks after the surgery and I hinted that I was losing weight because I was sick from the surgery. It really is no ones business but your own. I agree with everyone that was very unprofessional. but sounds like she is young. but if she is in that position she should not pry like that. good luck sweetie.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ugh. I did tell my boss, and ONLY my boss. I trust her, and I didn't want to have to do FMLA (either way I have to use vacation/sick time, so why go through the hassle?). So I just explained why I was having the surgery and why I needed to be out, and let her know that I may need some flexibility when I come back to work.

She wouldn't have asked if I hadn't told her though. I understand having personal relationships with co-workers and bosses, but there are some lines that should not be crossed!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had to file paperwork with the principal at my school so I could have the time off and get subs scheduled. I have enough sick days, just had to get the principal to sign off. He did so without question, until I was almost out of the office, the quietly said, "Um... is everything OK?" I just said, "Oh, yes, nothing serious." He looked relieved and said, "OK, good," and he let it go at that. I am 99.9% sure he asked because he is a genuinely nice guy who is concerned about his faculty.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ugh. I did tell my boss, and ONLY my boss. I trust her, and I didn't want to have to do FMLA (either way I have to use vacation/sick time, so why go through the hassle?). So I just explained why I was having the surgery and why I needed to be out, and let her know that I may need some flexibility when I come back to work.

She wouldn't have asked if I hadn't told her though. I understand having personal relationships with co-workers and bosses, but there are some lines that should not be crossed!

Why not file FMLA. It is for your protection. If you have complications or other health issues it is designed to protect your job. That is not something I would want to risk.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She shouldn't have asked. Hopefully she doesn't push the issue later if she does you could tell her what someone else said about HR.

It's hard especially if you had confided in her in the past when talking about your kids which is why you felt bad.

However, dont feel bad as it is none of her business.

LS

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ugh. I did tell my boss, and ONLY my boss. I trust her, and I didn't want to have to do FMLA (either way I have to use vacation/sick time, so why go through the hassle?). So I just explained why I was having the surgery and why I needed to be out, and let her know that I may need some flexibility when I come back to work.

She wouldn't have asked if I hadn't told her though. I understand having personal relationships with co-workers and bosses, but there are some lines that should not be crossed!

Why not file FMLA. It is for your protection. If you have complications or other health issues it is designed to protect your job. That is not something I would want to risk.

I have enough job security to know that even with complications, I'd still have a job. I'm very lucky to have the job that I have, and the boss that I have.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Legally you don't know have to tell them that. At least in New York under the HIPA law . And employer doesn't need to know what exactly you're having surgery for .

Edited by hazelzay

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for the suggestions guys, my husband strongly recommends that I just lie about it and say I'm having gallbladder surgery....which i've already had my gb removed...anywho I honestly don't feel right about lying lol

In response to one of the pp, I do feel like she has been trying to build a friend type relationship with me rather than just co-workers...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Bashbee91

      Hey guys new to the process looking forward to this new life. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Bugg

      Hi everyone! I’m brand new here. I just went through all my pre-op requirements per my insurance company and now everything has been submitted and I’m just waiting for final approval and my surgery date. I’ve been doing research, watching YouTube videos, TikTok’s, ect.. trying to prepare my mind and what to expect so I’ll be ready for the surgery. I was so sure and so set and so ready and excited. However, now that I’ve done everything & it’s almost here, I am sooooooo scared! I know why I want it bc I’ve tried everything and I just don’t feel like I can lose weight by myself. I’m tired of being overweight my entire life. I’m miserable, but I keep psyching myself out afraid of GERD bc I know how that can be and I don’t want to have to get a bypass after already gaining the courage to even get VSG. I’m scared of complications like I’mgoing to regret doing it and be depressed that I didn’t just be more disciplined and try again to lose the weight on my own even sitting here typing this knowing in my mind i just can’t and don’t possess the discipline. I’m also afraid I won’t be able to handle the restrictions of the sleeve. What do I eat? I don’t know how to eat healthy really and don’t enjoy healthy food. I don’t know how to do this! I feel so defeated!Someone tell me they felt anything similar to this or am I not ready? I thought I was. I am so tired of being sick and tired and so tired of myself and so tired of being stuck and stuck in this body and somebody different on the outside from what I feel inside. I just want to ball up and cry.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • buildabetteranna

      over 20 lbs down since4 the pre surgery diet and surgery on the 14th
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        Yay!! Congrats. I know how good that feels. 🤩

    • Jenopolis

      Had a sleeve in 2017, lost over 100 pounds. Had a DS surgery this year (2025) for more sustainable weight loss. 🤞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • buildabetteranna

      The 14th was my day. I am home and recovery is going pretty smooth. They even let me walk out of the hospital. Picture of me in recovery curtesy of my boyfriend lol. 

      · 3 replies
      1. DaisyChainOz

        Glad it went well!! Wishing you a speedy recovery and wonderful success!! 🤗

      2. buildabetteranna

        Thank you ❤️

      3. Selina333

        Neat you have a pic of this day! I was sooo happy to get my surgery. It was well worth it! And I'm not even near my goal. I had surgery Dec. 2!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×