Boss asked what I was having surgery for.....

[lilbeanie 52]

My supervisor also asked me what kind of surgery I was getting. It was really strange to me. I think I said that I was having surgery on my stomach - from there she could have guessed a variety of different things such as WLS or something that was more medically threatening like a tumor, but I didn't get into any other specifics. I had a long and difficult recovery (about a month and a half until I felt like I could even leave the apartment) and they knew I was having a hard time. Luckily I work from home so I was still able to work even though I was feeling pretty terrible, although I did take off the first 2.5 weeks.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@reachbree

I hope you are keeping a notebook with all of this. You are going to need to make a trip to HR before Christmas.

Edited June 9, 2016 by OutsideMatchInside

[Pebbles0000 4]

Your surgery is your business and can remain private information according to the HIPAA law. Look up HIPAA and see if there has been any violation from your employer asking! Shame on any company that has a boss/representative/supervisor that has the audacity to ask what type of surgery you are having!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[KeepCalm 223]

I think you answered her just right, and if she doesn't push then you have nothing to worry about And depending on how she asked... could mean any number of things. Like the lady that posted about her principal asking - the way he asked did seem like he actually cared and wanted to make sure she was alright.

I've been really open about my surgery - I seem to have gotten a lot more support from the people I work with bosses and co-workers then family really... and by support I mean positive encouragment! - even at my pizza delivery job lol - they all seem to be really cool about it. I tend to try to be friends with everyone - so, unless we really don't hit it off right away, I consider everyone my friend.

Which means I'm a big mouth about a lot of stuff that I should probably keep private, but don't really care if people know or not. Though sometimes I realize after I said something about my personal life - I go uh yeah I probably shoudn't have told them that... I forget not everyone is truely my friend :/ Oh, well - live and learn!

My family... is very against the surgery, but they are willing to help me, get me to the hospital, doctors, and help me after I get out of the hospital for a few days before I go home to crazy roommate. So, I know they love me, they're just worried cause I'm manda - I take care of everyone, even the crazy roommate - who is worried about me not making it off the operating table - I told him he wouldn't get that lucky

I expect to have some questions, but I think it'll be more from the people that don't see me often.

[reachbree 140]

SO True about not everyone being your true friend, if anything I've learned that this year and it took me 36 years to realize that because I easily get comfortable with people then end up saying IMO too much.

I think you answered her just right, and if she doesn't push then you have nothing to worry about And depending on how she asked... could mean any number of things. Like the lady that posted about her principal asking - the way he asked did seem like he actually cared and wanted to make sure she was alright.

I've been really open about my surgery - I seem to have gotten a lot more support from the people I work with bosses and co-workers then family really... and by support I mean positive encouragment! - even at my pizza delivery job lol - they all seem to be really cool about it. I tend to try to be friends with everyone - so, unless we really don't hit it off right away, I consider everyone my friend.

Which means I'm a big mouth about a lot of stuff that I should probably keep private, but don't really care if people know or not. Though sometimes I realize after I said something about my personal life - I go uh yeah I probably shoudn't have told them that... I forget not everyone is truely my friend :/ Oh, well - live and learn!

My family... is very against the surgery, but they are willing to help me, get me to the hospital, doctors, and help me after I get out of the hospital for a few days before I go home to crazy roommate. So, I know they love me, they're just worried cause I'm manda - I take care of everyone, even the crazy roommate - who is worried about me not making it off the operating table - I told him he wouldn't get that lucky

I expect to have some questions, but I think it'll be more from the people that don't see me often.

[Pebbles0000 4]

Raenh, Thanks for the support not only for my advice, but most importantly for her needs!

[Sajijoma 1,324]

How rude of her to ask! It's none of her business! [emoji35]I'd just say it's something of a personal nature-which it is- and don't say anything above that. It really is no ones business.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

My easy (true) answer would be private GIRLY issues. It's private, you're a girl, and that's all ANYONE needs to know.

[Pebbles0000 4]

It is just hard to believe that employers have such ignorant people working for them. I can remember being a supervisor in a highly known service company that delivers packages. The management team approached me about one of the African Americans wearing her hair in braids in her hair. This was about 20 years ago. I told them, "Are you kidding me? you do not want to touch that with a ten foot pole; there are all kind of issues that would need to be addressed, including her heritage." Some people in management are just simply clueless and should not be in the upper level of supervision/management. They need to educate themselves on human resource issues, ethnic issues, etc. It is just so hard to believe that companies put uneducated people in high positions, and I am not talking about book smarts/university smarts, I am talking about good ole common sense!

If you do not want to share your medical information, do not feel that you have to. Just politely say, my medical information is personal. That is my suggestion!

[165B445 188]

So after telling me that she received my FMLA info from Personnel she leaned down and whispered "what are you having surgery for?" I paused then said, "Im sorry I don't want to give that info" Even when I initially told her that I was having surgery, I specifically asked her to not give that info out.

I felt SO weird saying that because I did want to tell her but I couldn't.. WHY? because she is friends with another girl in our office Im having issues with. I avoid drama with this girl at all cost, so even though I feel I have a good relationship with my sup, I watch the things that I tell her about my personal life. Why do I feel so bad though!!!

No one else my office knows except a close friend whom I trust a little more.

I should also mention that she is 6-7 yrs younger than me and we both have 2 boys so we talk a lot but this is one thing that I am not being open about.

I concur w/ you... besides if you have a Union at your job they would tell her that she is not allow to ask you...don't feel bad.

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[165B445 188]

So after telling me that she received my FMLA info from Personnel she leaned down and whispered "what are you having surgery for?" I paused then said, "Im sorry I don't want to give that info" Even when I initially told her that I was having surgery, I specifically asked her to not give that info out.

I felt SO weird saying that because I did want to tell her but I couldn't.. WHY? because she is friends with another girl in our office Im having issues with. I avoid drama with this girl at all cost, so even though I feel I have a good relationship with my sup, I watch the things that I tell her about my personal life. Why do I feel so bad though!!!

No one else my office knows except a close friend whom I trust a little more.

I should also mention that she is 6-7 yrs younger than me and we both have 2 boys so we talk a lot but this is one thing that I am not being open about.

I concur w/ you... besides if you have a Union at your job they would tell her that she is not allow to ask you...don't feel bad.

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I work in office setting and i love to tell ppl off the wall stuff to see how fast rumors spread.... tell her your having gender re-assignment in Bangkok...lmao!!!

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[Pebbles0000 4]

I absolutely love that creative funny response! YES!

[Cocojh 62]

My surgery WAS a secret. Made the mistake of telling a few co workers. I left work yesterday for surgery on Monday and found out one of them told the whole office! Out of respect one of them called me to let me know. She preceded to tell me how most of them felt I wasn't fat. And they didn't understand why I'm having it??? I'm 5'3, 230 lbs...clearly over weight. Just trying to stay positive for Monday. This pre-op diet is horrible. I slipped and had a piece of turkey yesterday. I was soooo hungry and not to mention upset. Monday can't come fast enough!

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[Pebbles0000 4]

Cocojh, this is a positive time in your life. Your doctor obviously supports you in the effort, so refrain from listening to people at work. Now a bit of work advice, the people at work are co-workers, they are not or should not be your social circle and usually they are not your friends. This is only a suggestion: do not share your personal business at work. They do not need to know who you were out with last night, what is going on in your home, or your every thought. Management will sometimes collect information and later on use it against you. I have worked in some awful environments where management would use anything to create a file against you. Now this may sound paranoid, however I have sued sued sued and have won won won, because of many infractions. Keep your personal business to yourself! Stay professional, polite, and distant, and do the best job you can do. On the surgery: you will do just fine~ stay on course though and do not try to cheat. I tried to cheat in the second week and ended up with my head in the toilet vomiting ! Blessings in your new life! You will soon be thin!

[Cocojh 62]

Well said and very good advice. I only talk to three ladies at work, and so thought that all three were professional and trust worthy. At any rate, I'm so glad that I found out the truth and will take all of your advice to heart. I have worked with the three ladies for five years. Today I made the decision not to be concerned with it. I have more important things to concentrate on! Thanks

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