I feel hopeless!

[Heidijenn 15]

Well I've got all my preop appt.'s done all I need to do is continue my therapy and I can have my surgery. The problem is I have completely psyched myself out with the surgery, I have been reading too many stories of people having problems, ex. ( excessive vomiting, not being able to eat anything, being weak, and other physical problems) and I just don't think I can do the surgery, so now I feel hopeless because I just don't think I have the willpower or discipline to do it on my own!!! But I have pretty much decided against the surgery! I hate this.!!!

[BBweightlossjourney 49]

Well I've got all my preop appt.'s done all I need to do is continue my therapy and I can have my surgery. The problem is I have completely psyched myself out with the surgery, I have been reading too many stories of people having problems, ex. ( excessive vomiting, not being able to eat anything, being weak, and other physical problems) and I just don't think I can do the surgery, so now I feel hopeless because I just don't think I have the willpower or discipline to do it on my own!!! But I have pretty much decided against the surgery! I hate this.!!!

Hi @@Heidijenn

I'm so sorry to hear you have decided against the surgery. I am going to be 4 weeks post op Tmw. My Sleeve surgery was May 10th and I have NO regrets !!And may I mention, I have never vomited once ,or experienced any complications... Except for some Constipation for a few days when I got home ,but that lasted two days, I called the Doc and took a dose of Miralax, I have not had any issues going since. I'm so happy I did this surgery! I believe before and still am confident that it will save my life. Just today I was wearing a Bathing suit at the Beach.

Like you, I read and researched and read and researched. It took me resolving in my mind and heart that I can't base my decisions on the lives of others, including those who posts i read religiously. I quickly found out that often times people have spoken in length about what has gone wrong without honestly speaking about what led up to it. For example many sleevers don't follow the pre-op diet nor the post-diet plan..they find ways around it, cheat and or just flat out don't follow the rules. My doctor was very Frank with me when he said "the magic lies in you" ... I was so grateful that I followed the Pre-op diet because its was really helped and benefited me post-op. I knew that if I could get through that ,well then I could see myself on the other side (the loser's bench) . I can't tell you what to do, I jus wanted to share with you my gratitude for the surgery ,my life (yes in just these few short weeks ) is soooo much better!

Attend some support groups, reach out to those in this forum with your questions, I think your going to be pleasantly surprised to see that most of us are super happy and Healthy. Complications can be reduced if not eliminated by the choices and actions of the patient, living proof!!

I hope and pray you do what will make you happy . Fear is there and it will be ,just don't let it control u. You have admitted to not being able to do this on your own ( I declared defeat too) and you have done all the leg work, so the reward is now the surgery ! Speak with your doctor share your concerns , I'm sure your concerns and fears can not be bigger than what being Healthy will feel and be like.

All the best !!

Please let me know if you have any specific questions , I would be happy to answer them.

[KristenLe 5,979]

@@Heidijenn Please consider all of the health problems associated with obesity. If surgery is not right for you then please speak to your Dr about a weight loss program before your health declines or worse.

[busybeebug 415]

Take a few deep breaths and hugs to you. It's really tough to read about the bad stuff. There is always that possibility with any surgery. You need to examine what your outcome can be. What will happen if you don't make the changes? Can you loose the weight on your own? Can you stay with that weight loss program, Are you happy with your body/mind/soul at this time? Will having the surgery help with any long-term conditions? Can you commit to the after care? What will happen if you do nothing?

Sit down with your mental health professional, talk about your fears, your hesitations. They can help you discover if you are ready. Think back to when you started the process, why did you want to do this?

This decision is a huge step, life will change. Try not to keep reading all the bad experiences. Yes be aware that things can go sideways but its not the norm.There are many more with positive outcomes or these surgeries would not be done as much as they are.

Hang in there! Find your path , find your peace.

Sent from my SM-G920V using the BariatricPal App

[Clementine Sky 708]

I'm going to share my positive experiences with having the VSG with the hope it will ignite a spark of optimism in you about it. Besides my mild state of panic about having the IV inserted (I have a completely irrational needle phobia and always freak out about them, no matter how much I promise myself I won't) the surgery itself was as smooth as it could possibly be. When I regained consciousness I actually was confused for a moment and thought the surgery hadn't happened yet because of the absence of pain and discomfort. The anesthesiologist had done a terrific job. My period started during the surgery, and it did feel like the cramps had been amplified that first day. I'd brought a heating pad with me, and that provided some relief along with the ample pain medicine I was given. I was slightly nauseous but that abated when they increased my meds a tad. I slept for a few hours, and then felt ready to start going on laps. I actually was told I needed to slow down my pace because I was feeling so well I just zipped up and down the hallway. I slept very well through the two nights in the hospital, and during the day would snooze when I wasn't walking or watching movies. I brought my laptop and a HDMI cable so that I could hook it up to the TV and my parents (my support team since my husband was working) and I could watch them.

I had the surgery in Tijuana, Mexico, because my BMI was too low for my insurance to be willing to cover any of the costs, and the facilities exceeded my expectations. After I was released I felt energetic enough to go to the little touristy area and explore and shop, and then chilled out by the pool at the hotel. After we left Tijuana my parents and I went shopping at the outlet just over the border before making our two hour road trip back up to LA. We stopped at a couple of scenic places, and at Panera for dinner where I had broth. I felt completely comfortable the entire way, without being burdened by fatigue or pain. The only discomfort I experienced was from an allergic reaction to the tape used over the incisions. They caused tiny, itchy, angry welts. Fortunately they healed quickly. My recovery was easy. In a way it was even enjoyable because I gave myself permission to just lounge around the house and recuperate. I'd stocked my kitchen with Protein powders, popsicles, Crystal Light, PB2, broths, Jello, and the like before surgery, along with everything else I thought I might need, and put the house in order so I could just relax. The blog site "The World According to Eggface" has a great post about things to stock up for the liquid phase, and I recommend that you check it out. You can also find packing list for the surgery on YouTube and this forum. I binge watched Ray Donovan and all these other shows people had raved about but I never had time to watch, read books, and took gentle strolls through the neighborhood.

I'm a professor, and I started teaching one month post-op with more vitality than expected. I was back on campus preparing for the quarter prior to that point. I think if I'd had another job a total of two weeks off - one for the surgery, and one for post-op - would have been sufficient. I'd worried I'd be lacking in stamina, but was already benefitting from the weight loss in that first month. I've increasingly gained energy, fitness, and confidence in the months since surgery. I learned about my appetite changes and got myself into an eating and drinking schedule during the time in between surgery and going back to work.

I threw up due to having the VSG just once. I'd eaten something that was spicier than expected, and guzzled Water to try to put out the flames. That caused me to throw it up. I was really sick in December, but that was due to a virus that several of my students had, and I would have gotten regardless of having had the VSG. It was a week of misery, and then I rebounded.

I'd been a tad bit concerned prior to surgery that I'd lose hair, have loose skin, and would look and feel aged. I'm grateful that none of those problems became a reality. I lost a tiny amount of hair around the four-month mark, but it was only perceptible to me. My skin isn't the least bit loose, and my scars have faded entirely. You cannot tell I ever had surgery. I'm in my early 30s and am now getting carded again, and confused for being a student. Strangers have paid me sweet compliments. I've gone from a size 14 / XL to a size 6 and am still losing. The shirt I wore today was an XS. I have PCOS and have seen an improvement in my blood work and symptoms post-surgery (no more painful acne breakouts that throb all night and make me want to hermit at home because they are so unsightly). This time last year I was incredibly self-conscious and would dread the thought of running into friends I hadn't seen in a while because I knew they'd notice my weight gain. I shrank into myself like a turtle retreating into its shell then. Now I am emerging, blossoming. I am actually living my life instead of just existing in it. I feel freed.

I had mentally prepared myself to have "buyer's remorse" because I'd read that it was quite common, especially in the first month, but I have honestly never regretted this surgery. For every medical procedure there is, there is someone who has had a painful and horrific experience. Someone who has had everything that could go wrong go wrong on them. There are people who've died from having their wisdom teeth or their tonsils removed, from reactions to OTC medicines, from childbirth. And we're surrounded by risks everyday - cars, tubs we could slip in, food we could choke on. You have to look at the risks of not taking action, too. Obesity can shorten your life, and it can shackle you to health problems. The VSG is really a low-risk surgery if you chose a qualified surgeon and follow the guidelines given to you. Many of the problems people experience post-surgery have solutions to them. As an example, some people with acid reflux problems have felt better by taking a PPI. People who are very fatigued might have a Vitamin deficiency a blood test can identify, and then they can treat. I felt better when I increased my Vitamin D. You're likely to be able to make it over any obstacle you encounter, too. Hopefully you'll go for this surgery, and you'll benefit from it like I and so many others have.

Best wishes to you.

[finding_onederland 226]

@@Clementine Sky @@BBweightlossjourney @@busybeebug What great posts! I have posted before about going back and forth in my head about the surgery, but I think you may have just convinced me! Thank you!

[kmorri 1,689]

@@Heidijenn I had my surgery on May 16th..........I've not had any issues. After the first 5 days I started to feel pretty much normal. This is the best thing I've ever done for myself! Keep in mind that people are much more likely to post when things are not going so good......folks that are doing well are much more likely to just get on with their life.....The surgery is certainly a personal decision but don't make that decision based on issues others are having....yes there are risks, but weigh those risks against the risks of obesity related issues.....I wish you the best.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@Heidijenn

If you are stressed out and miserable because you are scared, you are going to have a poor outcome. You have to mentally be in the right place. Just because you aren't in that place right now, doesn't mean you won't be later on, maybe in a few months.

I had surgery because I was having mounting health issues and I felt in the end I had nothing to lose because my quality of life was starting to tank. When you get to that point, surgery looks like the best option.

Edited June 7, 2016 by OutsideMatchInside

[MissMac 163]

Here are 1,326 reasons why the rest of us put fears aside and just went ahead and did it:

http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/219831-what-was-your-final-straw-that-broke-the-camels-back/?hl=%20final%20%20straw

[Heidijenn 15]

Thank you so much everyone for taking time to help me, you have all given me alot to think about, and you all make it sound like it should be a no brainer. Do I want to continue feeling like crap, looking like crap, no energy, taking too many pills or do I want to do something about it that can change everything about me that I hate, hmmmm. I will figure this out!!!! Thank you all again it's nice to know i have support!!!!