Christmas Songs

[Rebeccalee 2]

Ho ho ho, DeLarla, Lisa, Crazy Girl. You crack me up. :laugh I just love your Christmas spirit.

I didn't Celebrate the holidays all the years my boys were growing up -- don't ask me why, it is ALL in the past. They still got all the benefits. My family just celebrated my son's birthday (Dec. 23) like he was a little prince or something. :rolleyes They all kind of think I'm crazy for starting now, but I sure do enjoy it. I just packed the box for my grandson in Kansas -- sniff....

[Iluvharleys 15]

Well, I finally got my tree up and trimmed! What a busy day! I went shopping first thing this morning, then I cleaned house, then I put the tree up and trimmed it. I am tired! Now it is time to think about cooking supper! I still have a lot more stuff to put out, but enough for today! I think I got lots of exercise in today! lol

[leatha_g 4]

i went shopping too. i have my tree up and the trimming is a work in progress. since i live alone, it's okay. no one will see it til the kids come for christmas. but, i turned the christmas songs on on the tv music channels. even alone, this Christmas seems much better to me. Usually, I am traveling so much I never have time to even think about it til Christmas week. This has been a nice change.

[La_madam 20]

I like your story Lisa..I thought it was just my cat that was tree crazy ..she seems to enjoy drinking the Water from the tree stand then the water out of her bowl..and everytime she does she tromples over the presents and knocks atleast 1 of the glass ball ornaments off the tree then rolls it around the house like it is a toy

[blossom 2]

Ok, so what funny new Christmas songs have you heard so far??? I just hear one called Santa Lost a Ho! LOL!!!

[Zoe 6]

That's a good one. I don't have any songs or cat stories, but I can report that my Lab mix has been up to her usual standard of holiday naughtiness. I had a huge dinner party on Saturday, and did a lot of cooking for about 24 straight hours. Every time I left the kitchen, Sophie Dog stole some of the butter-wrapping paper (you know, with tablespoons marked on it) out of the garbage. When I moved the garbage can on the counter to outsmart her, she just knocked over the can, and I still found little pieces of translucent paper shredded all over the rest of the house, plus I had peelings, shavings, bones and miscellaneous crap knocked all over the floor! At least the butter's good for her coat -- if not for her padded Labby waistline. As the guests arrived, Soph worked her canine mojo, and managed to hypnotize at least six people into giving her slabs of roast beef. She wolfed down all kinds of handouts with no trouble. I hate it when the dog eats better than I do!

[Rebeccalee 2]

I heard a song the other day that is called "Buttcracker Suite." I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP! Our local station plays great alternative stuff. This one was to the music of the Nutcracker Suite and was a plea for the end of buttcrack displays.

[Zoe 6]

Y'all want a Christmas song list? Check this out, Buttcracker Suite and all:

http://www.comedy101radio.com/playlists/pl121400.htm

[New Hope 37]

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit around the world in one night and not get lost!

[Iluvharleys 15]

Marie - that was a good one!

Here's another one!

FROM THE DESK 0F S. CLAUS

I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve the states of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Alabama, Mississippi, Texas, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and Cookies so keep that in mind. However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Joe Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us:

1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Joe Claus because he has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads, "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson".

2. Instead of milk and Cookies, Bubba Joe Claus prefers that children leave an RC Cola and Pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba Joe Claus doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy.

3. Bubba Joe Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba Joe Claus' fireplace.

4. You won't hear, "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen" when Bubba Joe Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, Andretti, on Elliott and Petty

5. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" You also are likely to hear Bubba Joe Claus' elves respond, "I her'd dat!"

6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Joe Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words, "Back Off".

. 7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and " Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Joe Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other. And Finally,

8. Bubba Joe Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure your wife and kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.

Sincerely yours,

Santa Claus

[paula 4]

Leatha, soooo very glad to hear that youre "catching" the Spirit this year. My little Anne Marie told me yesterday, "Mom, Christmas is just MAGICAL!" she had such a twinkle in her eyes when she said it.

Its the anticipation...

[lapbander081004 7]

Ok Now before you open this Christmas Song know that I posted it on the Burping and farting Thread. But I think its funny.

http://www.inet.hr/~sazivano/Move/Farting_Santas.htm

[Iluvharleys 15]

Paula - I just love watching the kids at Christmas. I think that is the magical part to me. I remember the first year my son didn't believe there was a Santa. We left to go to my Parents for Christmas Eve, the weather was really bad and my Sister-in-law wrote a letter from Santa and hung it on the wall. She stuffed their stockings and put all the presents under the tree. When we got home the boys went nuts. They grabbed their socks and then noticed the letter. Santa said he had to come early because of the weather, but they were not to touch their socks or their presents until morning or they would all dissapear. Well, those socks went back on the fireplace and they went to bed. The last thing my son said was "There really is a Santa, nobody else could have done this". So, at least it gave him one more year of that magical Christmas.

[roro33 0]

well as i told you all earlier, i got the clay aiken cd.... it was "okay" as simon would say on american idol, it was a safe performance.... the first half was nice, but sounded like any other singer... the second half was much better.... have a wonderful and blessed christmas everyone....

[paula 4]

Greg.... You are B A D!!! By the time the "fart song" had finished, my ENTIRE family (even the 2 yr old) was gathered around this stupid computer! And of coarse the men in the house wanted details, "who sent you that Mom?, Where did that come from Paula?" We only had to listen to it 3 times... I thought that was pretty good!

Betty.... that is so touching. Does he still remember that?

Marcus is 9 now and most kids his age dont believe in Santa. He still does!