female only Partner's opinions on loose skin?

[WitchySar 244]

Thank you all for your answers. I personally like how I look at this size, and looks are super important to me, so it's going to take a lot of work to get prepared for my post-surgery body. No, it isn't going to stop me from doing this, but I envision lots of time in my therapist's office working through these issues. Good thing I see her tomorrow.

I know my husband loves me but I feel like he's not being realistic about the changes that are coming. He keeps saying things like, "oh it won't be that bad", but what if it IS that bad and it takes him by surprise? I just wish I could get him to stop being so blasted optimistic and start being realistic, at least about this. I do sincerely hope he still finds me just as sexy after the weight loss as he does now, but I'm worried the reality will be too much of a shock to him.

@@WitchySar

I started off at your height and weight. My start weight when I saw the Dr is not my highest weight.

First of all, just because you lose weight there is no guarantee you will lose your boobs. What size were your breasts in middle school and high school? I started off a 48-50 DD, and now I am a 40G/F depending on the cut, on my way to a 38?? My breasts have not changed, just my band size. If you have a legit large amount of breast tissue, it is not going to go anywhere.

I have batwings from hell, the stomach on my skin is wrinkly. I'm not done losing yet. One thing to keep in mind is, that it changes almost daily. My body is changing up and how my body and my skin looks change all the time. I think in the end, it won't be that bad.

I can point out all my flaws in my full length mirror when I don't have clothes on, but with clothes on I look like a curvy dream. Men like it. I'm not in a relationship but I have no problems attracting men when I am out. I have dated since surgery, and like I said clothes off, you can definitely tell I have lost a lot of weight and I have wrinkly skin on my stomach, but men don't really care, not one has ever commented about it. Men see T and A. and they don't care too much about what is in the middle, especially if you have other attributes. The last guy I told I wanted a boob lift said his hands could do that for me

The health benefits of losing weight far outweigh my skin issues even if I whine about them all the time.

Like @@AvaFern, I am shallow and vain but I never worried about lose skin when starting this process, because I knew that was fixable in the end with a lot of different things, but I didn't have a lot of options when it came to high blood pressure. I also really wanted to lose weight fast as possible so I could reap the benefits. If it takes me years to work on the skin it doesn't matter.

In middle school and high school I was a DD cup, and right now I'm a G cup. Almost as big as I'd personally like (yes, I like BIG boobs). I've always been fat though my entire life so I don't know how much of that was ever breast tissue vs fat.

I hate admitting it but I'm shallow too. My looks have always been super crazy important to me. Unfortunately, realistically, I'm not going to have a way to fix my appearance after surgery. I don't work (haven't been able to because of a disability, not one that WLS will fix either) and my husband makes only about $30000 a year to support a family of 5. There is zero extra money in there to save for plastics later on. I think that's what has me the most nervous. If I could afford to fix it later on then it wouldn't be a concern for me. But I can't.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@WitchySar

I knew my boobs wouldn't go anywhere, even with all these people telling me that you lose your tits. Most of the women in my family have had reductions. When I was "fat" in middle school at 135lbs and 5'4 I was a D cup. I wore a training bra for like a month, then I was a C cup. I was a D cup all through HS and College. I too like having big boobs, the extra money I spend on good bras pays for itself in free goods and services with my big titty card.

I always liked how I looked for the most part. I had friends of all different weights and heights and I knew that no matter your size, clothes and mirrors aren't magic and most women have a hard time finding things that fit them how they want and they also have things they don't like, so at 365, I didn't feel like my issues with clothes were just weight based. I was just discussing with a friend that lost a lot of weight that right now I feel less confident in my looks than I did before. Simply because before I was a BBW with the face of a 10 and I really stood out as being a very pretty large lady. Now I am like a regular fat chick that looks like she just let herself go a little, it's not the same thing. I was a big fish in a small pond and now I am a small fish in a big pond of regular chicks.

You are focusing on your physical attributes that your husband might not like after surgery, but it might not be the physical that he has an issue with. If you really adopt a healthy lifestyle and get into healthy eating and being active, will he like that? Will he be down with eating differently? Will he be okay with you eating differently than everyone else in the house? Will he accommodate you the first few months post-op when surgery is the hardest? Will he like you working out? How about just walking a lot in your neighborhood? Will he think you are too visible to other men? Will he be okay if you keep your big boobs but end up with a small waist more dudes are checking for you?

Those are the things I would be worried about if I had a man, more than if he will still be physically attracted to me.

Edited June 9, 2016 by OutsideMatchInside

[finding_onederland 226]

I am sort of excited that I won't have to worry about losing my boobs - my real boobs tried to kill me so I had a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction in 2011 - a silver lining, of sorts.

[daniotra 298]

I am sort of excited that I won't have to worry about losing my boobs - my real boobs tried to kill me so I had a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction in 2011 - a silver lining, of sorts.

The front page of the phone app only showed up through the "my real boobs tried to kill me" part. I had to check to see if your breasts tried to smother you in your sleep or made you fall due to their weight or something.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Lulu0717 0]

Remember, you control how much weight you lose. If you feel its too much, increase your intake with healthy calories. if he loves you he'll love you no matter what.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

BTW, I know women out number men by a factor of 10 on this site, but loose skin is embarrassing for both sexes. My GF wasn't part of my decision to do WLS(we didn't even know each other then), but the excess skin on my upper thighs got in her way the other day and it was embarrassing to look down and see her moving it away, Not a great Kodak moment in my life. But the fact remains I am a highly functional, healthy boyfriend despite some excess skin, At 53, we are not going to be photo-shopped modes. But I'll take healthy and functional any day,

[FabFatFish 13]

I am relieved that I am not the only person seeking WLS who has come to love and feel beautiful in the body that I inhabit at my largest. I struggle with reconciling my choice to have WLS and my current identity as a fat and confident woman. I don't know how my wife will respond to my skin apron when I am on the other side of this surgery, I know she will love me, but sexual attraction and love are not always the same thing.

Good luck! I hope to keep reading posts from you.

[NeedaBreak4Me 1,755]

I think majority of the time we are our worst critics... i don't think people really notice our imperfections as much as we do.

We can have a very distorted vision of ourselves and the pressure of having to conform to a certain type of body is very evident everywhere we look.

Your partner will love you for you... regardless of wrinkes, saggy boobs, hanging back fat or other things. If a partner does not... then the relationship might be worth reviewing ????

how i think i look vs how others see me

Edited June 24, 2016 by AussieGirl81

[WitchySar 244]

It's good to hear from someone in the same position that I am. It's so very true that love and sexual attraction aren't always the same. I hope for both of us that our spouses respond positively to our changing bodies.

[Lillymunster 49]

I’m worried about it too. I’ve tried to talk to my bf about it but he doesn’t want to talk about it. So, I’ve decided that if he doesn’t like it, too bad for him. That excess skin means I’m healthier and if he can’t handle it he can leave.

[OCladyT 16]

I’m 7 months post op and I’ve lost 78 lbs!!! I had saggy skin before but notice with the sweat band I wear I’m losing inches in those saggy areas... but even if you don’t... who cares! Believe me someone out that won’t care about saggy skin if they’re really in feelings with you!