female only Partner's opinions on loose skin?

[WitchySar 244]

I haven't had surgery yet (talking to my primary on Wednesday to get the ball rolling) but one reason why I've been putting off on asking about it is I'm terrified of loose skin. I'm 42, weigh about 375... my skin isn't going to bounce back like it used to (over 12 years ago I lost almost 150lbs and had no loose skin, I've since regained and aged). Right now I love my big boobs and don't want to lose them but there's no way I can afford implants, like ever. And my husband is 15 years younger than me (rawr!), I'm worried that he'll stop finding me sexy. He swears that's not going to happen but I can't help but worry. His preference has always been big women, and with my starting size I know it's unlikely I'll ever get truly *thin* but I will be thinnER, and floppy everywhere. I get nearly in tears every time I think about it.

How did your partner respond to your flopping skin everywhere? What did you end up doing about it? I'd love to hear from everyone but especially if there's anyone with a starting size near or more than mine. Thanks.

[KristenLe 5,979]

The flopping skin is better than fat. You'll have more energy and from what I hear - better sex! Don't let fear of loose skin concern you!

[Christinamo7 4,042]

so far "Saint David" as I like to call him has found me attractive at any weight, and before when I was expecting - he is in love with me. as I hope your man is with you. Healthy is sexy, and I hope that if you have loose skin that being healthy will make things better for both of you including this aspect of your relationship.

However, I did make him promise that if I sit on or step on my nipples we would find the money for getting them put back where they belong, even if it means taking out a loan.

the truth is he was more worried about me dying from a condition that could have been prevented than he was about my skin, after all - he plans to still be with me when I am 80 - and I haven't seen many 80 year olds I expect would look good naked.

[Sophie74656 1,572]

I woukd hope if you're already in a loving relationship their oponion won't change. They will love you for you. Also personally my cup size has not gotten smaller after loosing 175 lbs

And.....i really don't want to sound nasty but the idea of loosing some boobage shouldn't stop you from loosing weight

[dhrguru 1,238]

One-- you CAN be thin-- don't doubt that for a minute, but seek a goal that works for you!

My starting weight was 337, and I'm at 210 now. The worst of my excess skin is my wings (arms). I have skin on my stomach of course, but it doesn't 'hang' or otherwise protrude horribly/awkwardly. I can easily live with my stomach. I've gone from a 46dd to a 38D. Mine haven't take on the 'tube socks with rocks in them' look I've heard other describe. They hung before , just seem a bit deflated now. Nicely hidden in clothes/bras etc. like you, I'll never be able to afford plastics. Even if I did have a financial windfall, I'd hesitate in plastics. Arms would be my hands down must do-- anything else ehh.

My husband hasn't complained. He actually hasn't said a single word about my weight loss at all, so if he said anything at all- it'd be a pretty big deal. I can't say I've noticed anything flopping around.... But maybe I'm just focused on other things

[Read2016 658]

I think at your weight loose skin should be the least of your concerns, getting healthy should be... Money can always be found somewhere to afford surgery

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them"

Einstein

[WitchySar 244]

The flopping skin is better than fat. You'll have more energy and from what I hear - better sex! Don't let fear of loose skin concern you!

Hehehe, well if they sex gets any better I might just break him in half. Trust me, that's one area that we don't have any problems in. lol I guess one part of my concern is he likes my fat. Heck, so do I. I'm not doing the surgery hoping to LOOK better, I just need to have better health. I like being a fat woman, I like how I look. I'm scared to lose my plushiness for floppiness.

so far "Saint David" as I like to call him has found me attractive at any weight, and before when I was expecting - he is in love with me. as I hope your man is with you. Healthy is sexy, and I hope that if you have loose skin that being healthy will make things better for both of you including this aspect of your relationship.

However, I did make him promise that if I sit on or step on my nipples we would find the money for getting them put back where they belong, even if it means taking out a loan.

the truth is he was more worried about me dying from a condition that could have been prevented than he was about my skin, after all - he plans to still be with me when I am 80 - and I haven't seen many 80 year olds I expect would look good naked.

LOL That's funny, but makes me think perhaps I should start finding a way to save money for a boob job later on.

I woukd hope if you're already in a loving relationship their oponion won't change. They will love you for you. Also personally my cup size has not gotten smaller after loosing 175 lbs

And.....i really don't want to sound nasty but the idea of loosing some boobage shouldn't stop you from loosing weight

My looks have always been super crazy important to me. And I'm still making plans for the surgery, I'm just super scared too. Like legit terrified at becoming ugly and floppy. It makes me happy to hear your cup size hasn't changed. Maybe it's not as inevitable as I think.

[WitchySar 244]

One-- you CAN be thin-- don't doubt that for a minute, but seek a goal that works for you!

My starting weight was 337, and I'm at 210 now. The worst of my excess skin is my wings (arms). I have skin on my stomach of course, but it doesn't 'hang' or otherwise protrude horribly/awkwardly. I can easily live with my stomach. I've gone from a 46dd to a 38D. Mine haven't take on the 'tube socks with rocks in them' look I've heard other describe. They hung before , just seem a bit deflated now. Nicely hidden in clothes/bras etc. like you, I'll never be able to afford plastics. Even if I did have a financial windfall, I'd hesitate in plastics. Arms would be my hands down must do-- anything else ehh.

My husband hasn't complained. He actually hasn't said a single word about my weight loss at all, so if he said anything at all- it'd be a pretty big deal. I can't say I've noticed anything flopping around.... But maybe I'm just focused on other things

Well I don't want to be *thin* either. 225 is plenty thin for me. I actually LIKE being a big woman, I just need to be a little bit LESS of a big woman. lol I'm glad to hear the skin changes haven't been too bad for you (minus the arms). It helps set my mind at ease a little bit.

I think at your weight loose skin should be the least of your concerns, getting healthy should be... Money can always be found somewhere to afford surgery

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them"

Einstein

I never said I wasn't focused on getting healthy, but part of health is mental health. And right now that's all I can work on, so here I am asking this question. And no, money can't always be found someplace to afford surgery. Not everyone has any disposable income. We live paycheck to paycheck. Nothing extra anywhere.

[Christinamo7 4,042]

*everyone* I think is scared when they are getting ready for surgery, I hope that helps. I was!

and in terms of attractiveness my husband has NEVER dated small women. all of his former girlfriends I would say were voluptuous. overweight by not obese. and right now I am just about 15 pounds from being at the perfect weight as far as attractiveness for him. but I plan and will get smaller. However, I've lost quite a bit of weight and we did just fine when I was heavy and somehow we will do just fine when I am smaller. Hopefully he will find out normal size women can be sexy too but I'll let y'all know.

[Sophie74656 1,572]

I also live paycheck to paycheck. I was out of work when I had my surgery. My insurance covered 80% and the hospital gave me a payment plan for the rest.

[KristenLe 5,979]

@@Sophie74656 she's referring to having money for plastic surgery which most often is not covered by insurance and not always financially feasible.

[WitchySar 244]

Yeah, I'm not worried about getting the WLS paid for, it's covered bly medicaid. It's the plastic surgery afterward that I won't be able to afford. I've heard conflicting things on whether or not medicaid in Colorado covers panniculectomy, even with documented rashes, but I know they do NOT cover tummy tucks, wing reductions, or breast lifts/implants. And honestly it's my boobs I'm most worried about. My husband is a huge boob man, and so am I (well, woman, but you know what I mean lol). I wear a G cup bra right now and I've been wanting implants already to make them bigger. So going the opposite direction makes my anxiety flare up like crazy. And I already divorced one husband who didn't find me attractive apparently (not due to weight, just in general) so the thought of doing something to risk the awesome marriage I have right now. Well I'm starting to hyperventilate right now typing it out.

I think I need to talk to my therapist on Thursday.

[Read2016 658]

Honestly I don't think your ready for the surgery, it requires life long changes.

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them"

Einstein

[WitchySar 244]

Well I can tell you you're wrong about that. Where on earth did I say I wasn't ready to make changes? You're reading a LOT into this. It's a good thing you aren't the one who needs to approve my surgery. lol Just because I'm freaking about having hanging skin is not the same thing as not being prepared to do what it takes to get healthy again. At least I recognize the issues I have and am taking steps to fix them (such as this thread to talk to others who have gone through this, and my admission that I should talk to my therapist about this). You are so negative.

[Read2016 658]

What I'm saying is there are many steps to get through before concerns about loose skin become a priority... Good luck on your journey.

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them"

Einstein