Needing advice on family gatherings.

[gutsy911er 13]

So I will be having surgery this month. I am worried about after, At about 30 days after surgery I am due to go to a family get together for my mother-in-laws 80th birthday. The family all knows about the surgery so I am not having to keep any secrets. Problem is that my husband is a member of a huge Hispanic family, who's get together's always center around food. This will be my first time dealing with this post surgery. Any helpful information or advice on how ya'll have handled family get togethers or changed your mind set about them after surgery would be extremely helpful. Also during this time, I will be staying with family for over a week, how have ya'll handled traveling, (is it better to pack my meals, try talking with my sister to make sure she is preparing things I can also eat? etc)

Edited June 3, 2016 by gutsy911er

[Renkoss 420]

About 3 weeks after my surgery, my sister had a 30th birthday party for my nephew. There was lots of food there, and I had to sit and be sociable with everyone while they were eating appetizer type foods. I did pack some food and brought it with me so I had something that I knew for sure I could have like a greek yogurt, a cheese stick, and a Protein shake. My sister did have chicken, so I took a little bit of that and shredded it, along with some pulled pork. It was only about 1 oz of each, but it worked. I also had a piece of cheese. The rest I just told myself first I didn't have room for all that food, and secondly I didn't just go through surgery and recovery for nothing! So, this is where your willpower and strength has to come in. Keep in mind at the time of the gathering, you will probably be on pureed foods, so you will be able to have some refried Beans with a bit of cheese melted on top, guacamole perhaps, smooth salsa (not chunky). So, you will have some options. You will only be able to eat about 2 oz at a time, so be careful! I hope everything goes well for you. If you are going to be there for a week, I would definitely go to the grocery store and stock up on stuff that you know you can have. Don't forget to make Protein your priority.

[Daniel2015 262]

Simply put-I would rely on yourself. You need to always have meals, Snacks, etc. Leaving it up to anyone else takes your control away.

I had a wedding about 6 weeks after my surgery. I spoke to the couple and they allowed me to order a special meal, even though it was catered with a set menu. I think letting people know what YOU need is crucial.

I think you have to be selfish, put yourself first. If something is too much, too tempting or overwhelming, you should trust that. Walk away, take a break-whatever you need.

Family gatherings are typically built around the meal and I found I actually got far more out of them because I ate what I needed-early, felt full and then really listened, talked and experienced friends and family on such a deeper level.

Not sure what your experience will be but I found that seeing others eat what I used to eat just didn't/doesn't tempt me. I know what those foods taste like and nothing is more important to me than giving myself nutritionally what I need.

I know the first meals with everyone are tricky. You just have to set the tone. I had people afraid to eat in front of me, or thought I wouldn't eat...I just explained I know what I need, and "you do you" and we'll both be fine.

Best of luck to you,

Daniel

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[KristenLe 5,979]

Prepare! Make sure you have food you can eat. Bring your water bottle and keep drinking all day. Keep busy doing other things. I hold my great-niece (10 weeks old) to prevent me from eating at parties. Find games to play. Enjoy.

[James Marusek 5,244]

At 30 days post-op, the amount of food you will need to eat is minuscule. After surgery I lost my hunger. So it wasn't hard to avoid food because I wasn't really hungry. The most important elements are Protein, Fluid and Vitamins. So during your visit you might buy premixed Protein shakes, since you will probably not want to bring a blender with you.

[gutsy911er 13]

Thank you for the ideas, I am kinda nervous about this and how I will handle the first big family event post op.

[aelovelady 243]

All of the above advice is really good, but it is also important to avoid anyone who can't (for whatever reason) support you. There will always be someone to tell you your not eating enough, or that you look tired, or that you have lost too much weight. Just smile and move on. These people aren't the ones that can't clip their own toe nails. They maybe even have good intentions, but if anything makes you question your decision or your goals, you don't need them right now. Good luck and keep us posted.

[veteranwoman 25]

All of the above advice is really good, but it is also important to avoid anyone who can't (for whatever reason) support you. There will always be someone to tell you your not eating enough, or that you look tired, or that you have lost too much weight. Just smile and move on. These people aren't the ones that can't clip their own toe nails. They maybe even have good intentions, but if anything makes you question your decision or your goals, you don't need them right now. Good luck and keep us posted.

Oh I hear ya on that one - I heard it all after my sleeve. In spite of some of my really close friends warning certain people to shut up and back up the others kept it up every time we were out in public. It finally got to the point that I totally lost it and blew up at one particular woman and told her to mind her own weight problems and stay away from me. lol It makes me self conscious when I am out enjoying my friends and a few people made constant remarks to the point I didn't want to go out anymore around them. Once I blew up everyone shut up. I had to tell an old friend from back on a visit once to back off too - I said look yes I only ate a half of a sandwich but what you don't see is that I eat that 8 times a day - I am FINE - she understood finally. I have my class reunion coming up and am kinda dreading it for that reason. Same thing when I went to my first reunion after I got sober - close friends were following me around to make sure i didn't drink lol One of my best friends is 100 pounds and 5'1" so once I reminder her (with a laugh of course) that I could whup her she stopped bugging me