AM I REALLY DOING THIS?!

[jenc427 32]

Hi all!

So I havent been around much because for a while I really thought I wouldn't be approved and that this surgery wasnt going to happen. But I was woken up Tuesday morning with the best news: I WAS APPROVED FOR SURGERY!!! And its in JUNE baby!!!!!! June 28th to be exact. Almost there!. I kinda cant believe its actually happening.

Now, I am pretty sure many of you have had the mini panic attacks prior to surgery. I havent been able to stop thinking about it. Mentally preparing myself, prepping what I should have ready for surgery and after surgery, and most of all I am questioning my decision.... How did you guys deal with it? I know I need this surgery. But I cant help feeling scared and doubtful. Im definitely scared about not being "normal" anymore. Its making me doubt my decision. Any words of wisdom? Lol.

Overall though I feel a sense of relief and like a new door is opening. Maybe the outcome wont be 100% what I thought it would be, but maybe it'll still be the best decision I ever made.

- Jen

[reachbree 140]

I think panicking is definitely normal during this whole process. After I got the call that I was approved and schedule (all in one breath) I panicked...I was in another whole world, I could barely walk because I wasn't expecting to even get approved with my lack of comorbidities and borderline BMI BUT Insurance and my surgeon saw this as medically necessary and to my surprise they approved me!!

I'm curious, what do you mean by "not being normal anymore"?

[jenc427 32]

I think panicking is definitely normal during this whole process. After I got the call that I was approved and schedule (all in one breath) I panicked...I was in another whole world, I could barely walk because I wasn't expecting to even get approved with my lack of comorbidities and borderline BMI BUT Insurance and my surgeon saw this as medically necessary and to my surprise they approved me!!

I'm curious, what do you mean by "not being normal anymore"?

Thanks for your words!

What I mean by normal is the following:

1. Eating regular food (which i know I will be able to after a while. Its not forever)

2. The fact that I wont be eating the same portions most people eat so it will definitely be a topic of conversation when Im out and around other people.

3. Having to eat more slowly and not drink with my meals. (I always drink while I eat - i am working on it now but it will feel abnormal to me at first)

4. Having to see how my body reacts to foods that didnt cause me problems before (except obesity haha)

5. The mental journey i will be embarking

6. Overall, i feel, when you are so heavy you tend to feel like you arent normal. "Why cant you stop eating" "why cant you eat a normal portion and be satisfied" "why cant you just walk down the block without dying of breathing issues" etc etc.

Right now being obese is my normal. I know this space. I will now be moving into new territory that i will be trying to settle in for a long while. I wont feel normal. And this is just based off what ive researched. Based off of what i think will happen. But the truth is idk how ill feel after. I may feel perfectly "normal".

[lagniappe_vsg 11]

I'm June 21 and I'm freaking out, too. I've become obsessed with researching and the researching is making it set in more what I'm about to do to myself! I've tried talking to my BFF and my husband about how I'm feeling but they just don't get it. My biggest fear is going through all of this then fucking up like I have with other WL attempts.

[BIGBRAND0105 15]

You guys all make me feel a bit better. I have my pre op appointment on Monday and scheduled for surgery on the 13th. I am obsessed with research as well, I have read no less than 5 books. Still cannot believe this is going to happen. Excited to start my pre diet on Monday and get on with it. This too shall pass and I know in a few months their will be no looking back but just need to get to that point.

[anniebanana 167]

It must be normal. My surgery is 6/22, and I am doing the exact same thing. I follow a support group on Facebook and all these people do is complain about one thing or another. I feel like it's better to prepare myself mentally for the negative aspects of this surgery that are bound to happen (based on what I hear nearly every WLS patient say.) I'm not quite sure how to mentally prepare for the grief that is bound to come when I can't turn to food (or coffee) for comfort anymore. I totally understand the "feeling normal" comment. I know that, at least for me, without the surgery I am facing so many health issues as a result of the excess weight, and that there are so many people who would give anything for this opportunity. I have to put my faith in my surgeon and just hope I'm not on a Facebook group complaining in 2 months lol

Edited June 3, 2016 by anniebanana

[jenc427 32]

I'm June 21 and I'm freaking out, too. I've become obsessed with researching and the researching is making it set in more what I'm about to do to myself! I've tried talking to my BFF and my husband about how I'm feeling but they just don't get it. My biggest fear is going through all of this then f**king up like I have with other WL attempts.

Omg we are just a few weeks away!!! I feel like the days are going by so slowly. Lol

I definitely get what you mean. I have very supportive family...but no matter how i explain it to them, I dont think they truly understand what is going on in my head.

I have a cousin that has told me a couple times "I think you'll be great candidate for surgery. I firmly believe you can definitely get the weight off and keep it off". In my head I was like "No pressure!" Lol. I fear failing too. It has definitely happened But I try to remind myself this to me is a major step. If I am doing this I am going to give it my all. I cannot fail. It isnt an option. I am so tired of being tired of this issue and im tired of having food control me. I hope that after a while I wont even miss the massive amount of food i used to eat.

[jenc427 32]

You guys all make me feel a bit better. I have my pre op appointment on Monday and scheduled for surgery on the 13th. I am obsessed with research as well, I have read no less than 5 books. Still cannot believe this is going to happen. Excited to start my pre diet on Monday and get on with it. This too shall pass and I know in a few months their will be no looking back but just need to get to that point.

You are almost there!!!! I have my pre-op appt on the 13th!!

Getting this feedback is definitely letting me know I am not alone in my pre-op madness. Lol. I have read a few books in the last few months that i want to reread. Any suggestions?

Good luck!!!

[jenc427 32]

It must be normal. My surgery is 6/22, and I am doing the exact same thing. I follow a support group on Facebook and all these people do is complain about one thing or another. I feel like it's better to prepare myself mentally for the negative aspects of this surgery that are bound to happen (based on what I hear nearly every WLS patient say.) I'm not quite sure how to mentally prepare for the grief that is bound to come when I can't turn to food (or coffee) for comfort anymore. I totally understand the "feeling normal" comment. I know that, at least for me, without the surgery I am facing so many health issues as a result of the excess weight, and that there are so many people who would give anything for this opportunity. I have to put my faith in my surgeon and just hope I'm not on a Facebook group complaining in 2 months lol

I think that's what might help. Kind of preparing yourself for the negative. Just so that when you are going through it. Its less impactful (hopefully). I keep thinking should I just give "dieting on my own" another chance. But i really think i wont be able to do it alone. I need to extra tool this time. And its either this or continue not living my life.

[anniebanana 167]

@@jenc427 Definitely! I know that it's going to suck for a couple of months at least. As much as I want to encourage you to move forward with surgery, you have to get to that place on your own. I was approved for surgery back in 2011, and I freaked out at the last minute. I hired a personal trainer who put me on a meal plan and workout regimen and I lost a lot of weight. I was ECSTATIC and thought I'd dodged a bullet by not having surgery. But I was still about 50 pounds overweight and putting my body through a LOT to get there. I ended up breaking 3 toes and had to stop the 10 hours of weekly workouts, and the weight came back on so fast Even when I tried to get back with the program, it wouldn't come off. So here I am, 5 years later, back where I started. My body is so incredibly achy. I tore a meniscus in my knee and had surgery but the recovery is slow and it still aches all the time. My bones and joints are sore from carrying all this weight around. Still, I am afraid of surgery, but I know that if I don't take drastic measures, I am not going to have much enjoyment in my life with the way I feel right now!

[jenc427 32]

@@jenc427 Definitely! I know that it's going to suck for a couple of months at least. As much as I want to encourage you to move forward with surgery, you have to get to that place on your own. I was approved for surgery back in 2011, and I freaked out at the last minute. I hired a personal trainer who put me on a meal plan and workout regimen and I lost a lot of weight. I was ECSTATIC and thought I'd dodged a bullet by not having surgery. But I was still about 50 pounds overweight and putting my body through a LOT to get there. I ended up breaking 3 toes and had to stop the 10 hours of weekly workouts, and the weight came back on so fast Even when I tried to get back with the program, it wouldn't come off. So here I am, 5 years later, back where I started. My body is so incredibly achy. I tore a meniscus in my knee and had surgery but the recovery is slow and it still aches all the time. My bones and joints are sore from carrying all this weight around. Still, I am afraid of surgery, but I know that if I don't take drastic measures, I am not going to have much enjoyment in my life with the way I feel right now!

Same here. I need more drastic measures. I want to try this way and hopefully I can start enjoying my life too. We are all going through pre surgery jitters. And thats normal. Hopefully all goes well and we can look back and think we were so lucky to get the surgery done.

[alyssaajoan 36]

I had my surgery in July of 2014 and it was honestly the best decision I've ever made. Once I decided it was what I wanted to do I never panicked once, maybe because I knew it was my last option. But I also got approved and scheduled for a week after I got the call so it all happened extremely fast for me! The biggest advice I would have for all of you is follow your doctors instructions!! If anyone has any questions I would be happy to answer them if I can! Good luck you guys, it's not an easy journey but it's so incredibly worth it(:

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