A truly lousy couple months

[Briardlady 73]

I'm giving special thanks that I have a sleeve. I think without it, I would have put on ten pounds these last two months. First, I had a litter of pups with a mother that didn't have enough milk, and thought simulating pups to pee and poop was not her job. Lots of lost sleep, lots of work.

That was the easy part. A good friend called me five weeks ago from an ambulance on the way to the hospital, asking me to go get her dogs from her house. Then she dropped out of sight. I had to start calling hospitals the next day to find her, only to find it that she was in ICU on a ventilator. Had to call her son in another state, found out she'd had a massive heart attack, the phone call to me was about the last thing she said to anyone. She then had a stroke, kidney failure, liver failure, Fluid in the lungs, paralysis, dialysis.... everything that could go wrong did. She spent two weeks on the ventilator. So I'm coping with puppies and buyers in two countries, trying to visit her every couple days, helping her son deal with her house, etc, and adding her dogs to my bunch. There wasn't a stress free moment.

Then after 4 1/2 weeks of hell, a day after I saw her last, she died just days after being moved to a skilled nursing facility. Alone, at 3 a.m. We had tried for weeks to get her dog in to see her (registered therapy dog, my friend visited hospitals regularly for years, her life revolved around her dogs), and she never got to see her dog again. With the paralysis, she couldn't talk, but she was in there, totally aware of what was going on. It was so hard to see her like that. Unbelievably hard.

And I'm angry at her. She was morbidly obese. She saw what great success I've had with the sleeve, she has the same insurance I have where she would have had to only pay $250 for surgery, but she just wasn't ready. Her sister died several years ago following a stroke related to uncontrolled diabetes, but my friend didn't take her meds for her diabetes. Her knees were bad so she didn't exercise. I'm angry at myself, should I have pushed her much harder to look at surgery? I don't think it would have made any difference, but that thought niggles at me.

And I'm afraid. I was morbidly obese for maybe thirty years. My friend didn't know she had blocked arteries. What time bombs is my body holding? Can I get my HMO to do the testing needed to check my arteries, and whatever else is needed? Watching what happened to her up close and personal just scares the hell out of me. That could have been me 135 excess pounds ago.

I just needed to put all this in writing. I have been so thankful these last few weeks for my tool, it has kept me from gorging myself on my old stress friends, Hershey kisses and French fries. And it gives me hope that I won't follow my friend to an early, painful death.

Her memorial service is tomorrow. I hope it really does help me with some closure, but I think that is going to take some time.

Jeanne

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[KristenLe 5,979]

Prayers for you and your friend's family!

[James Marusek 5,244]

Sorry to hear all about your problems. Hope things improve soon for you. It may have not done any good to try and push your friend toward surgery. My mom was diabetic and she would do the least amount of movement possible throughout the day. I tried to encourage her to get up and about more, but she refused to listen. She didn't leave her house for over 10 years unless I took her to her doctors appointments. She was the reason why I had the operation. I saw what diabetes was doing to her and decided I did not want to follow the same path. And she was the only one that made negative comments about my weight loss after surgery. And now she is in a nursing home because she has even lost that little mobility she had left. They have to use a machine to lift her out of bed and into a wheel chair.

[jane13 2,256]

@@Briardlady so sorry to hear about your friend. Like you I watched family and friends get so big and develop issues like diabetes that I decided to get WLS. Best decision I made, just wish I hadn't put it off.

she knew you were there and find some comfort in that.....

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Consequences.

P.S. You did good, @@Briardlady .

[Christinamo7 4,042]

Thank you for coming here and sharing this story. I hope that putting it all in writing is also helpful for you.

keeping you in my prayers tonight. We are doing better because we know better. I hope your ticking bombs turn out to be diffused.

[LadyK44 263]

I have watched my sister any mother die due to uncontrolled health issues. Don't give up and work you program. Also, go take the darn test that you need. Living in denial is quick road to an early death. Take care of yourself!

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[LadyK44 263]

I have watched my sister any mother die due to uncontrolled health issues. Don't give up and work you program. Also, go take the darn test that you need. Living in denial is quick road to an early death. Take care of yourself!

Sent from my SM-G935P using the BariatricPal App

Sent from my SM-G935P using the BariatricPal App

[LadyK44 263]

I have watched my sister any mother die due to uncontrolled health issues. Don't give up and work you program. Also, go take the darn test that you need. Living in denial is quick road to an early death. Take care of yourself!

Sent from my SM-G935P using the BariatricPal App

Qqqqq

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[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I am so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs.

[Sharon1964 2,530]

Just thinking about you.

[Babbs 14,681]

Try not to beat yourself up. We are only responsible for our own actions and reactions, not everyone else's. You've been through a lot, try to take care of yourself. Your friend would want you to.

[anewme2015 345]

You have been dealing with so

Much and it is commendable that you have done so without resorting to self-sabotage with emotional eating. What strength you have! I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Thanks for sharing your story and stay strong. You have a very different path ahead of you. I wish you the best.

[BandtoSleevechick 171]

So sorry for your loss!

[RILEYSMOM22 344]

Hugs to you. So sorry for your loss.