To those who are new(ish) to Internet public forums, plus a wish.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I posted some of this elsewhere, but perhaps this might serve as a helpful guide/reminder as many of us may be quite sensitive immediately pre and post op. Our bodies and minds are going through great changes and quite often, so are our relationships in the real world which completely throws some of us for a loop.

We turn here for support from like minded people but some feel that they aren't getting what they desire. So...a primer on Internet forums. Feel free to add your own reminders.

First. There is no rule that the responses must stop when you feel you got the appropriate answers, nor do they stop if you get answers you don't like. There are threads on this board that get bumped after 2-3 years of dormancy, such is the way of internet forums.

Second, just because you start a thread, it is not YOURS. This is a public forum and you will get answers from the public. Some will be very educated, some will not. Some will be warm and fuzzy, others will be blunt and to the point. And some will be overtly hostile. Take what you want, learn what you can and leave the rest.

Third. You cannot interpret the tone of the author of the post. You can read the words but that does not mean you are clearly interpreting the intent of the message being presented. If you don't like the tone you are perceiving, or are confused by it, ask. I don't mind if you say, "Hey lipstick! You being b!tchy or just straightforward?" Or "I'm really not sure how to take what you just said, care to explain?" It's the mature way to handle things and will often end hard feelings before they start. Maybe someone is having a bad day and totally worded their response badly. Give them a chance to apologize, reword or stand by their words before going off in a tangent.

If you CHOOSE to read someone's comment and tone as perpetually b!tchy, that's on you. You can't control the actions of others, you can only control your reactions. If you can't stand someone, block them. It's easy and you will never have to read their nonsense again.

Fourth. Topics will go off course and discussion will ensue even after the initial question seems to be resolved. The topics presented are NOT just for the benefit of the person who initiated it, but also for other forum participants current and future.

Fifth. Name calling is immature and ridiculous. It's also against forum rules. Don't do it. It totally invalidates every word that comes out of your mouth, past, present and future.

Sixth. Debate is good. Learn from it. Read it with an open mind. Participate civilly. It's ok to disagree.

And my wish...

Wouldn't it be nice if people could put some kind of color coding on their posts? Maybe the text would be black if the OP desires straightforward responses, pink for warm fuzzy responses, red if they want a true kick in the arse, green if they just need to vent but don't necessarily need advice, etc. sigh...

We are all traveling to the same destination. Our paths are different, our method of travel varies. Some roads are long, some short, some rocky, some smooth. The end goal is to get there. I'm there and I'm buying beer and Coke Zero for any and all who get here with me!

[Christinamo7 4,042]

toads?

[LipstickLady 25,682]

toads?

Got a problem with toads?

[Christinamo7 4,042]

toads?

Got a problem with toads?

nope. I had to kiss an awful lot of them to find my prince.

[Andrea72 510]

@@LipstickLady

Will you also bring hot young guys to put their hands on my ass like they do at mud runs?!?!?

[LipstickLady 25,682]

@@LipstickLadyWill you also bring hot young guys to put their hands on my ass like they do at mud runs?!?!?

Great idea!

[Monie717 183]

Thoughtful and well said LipstickLady.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Babbs 14,680]

I like turtles.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I just want a hug.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I just want a hug.

[theantichick 2,204]

As someone who's been on the Internet since the AOL days, very well said.

sent from mobile device

[CelesteMarie 129]

Nice. It's so true about tone, and the color coding is an excellent idea!

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[Read2016 658]

Please forgive me for disagreeing, I find it sad that a post needs to be written to remind adults of how to conduct themselves... The same manners you have offline should be brought to online... If you interact poorly with people in the real world, your not going to do any better in the cyber world... I do respect the time it took you to write that detailed post..

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[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Please forgive me for disagreeing, I find it sad that a post needs to be written to remind adults of how to conduct themselves... The same manners you have offline should be brought to online... If you interact poorly with people in the real world, your not going to do any better in the cyber world... I do respect the time it took you to write that detailed post..

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

And I resent that!

[Read2016 658]

@@VSGAnn2014 huh?

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