Family totally against my surgery

[LisaMergs 2,854]

It just makes no sense to me at all why family members think they have the right to get crappy when someone is doing something to help themselves.

Is your daughter overweight? Perhaps it is a form of jealousy? I don't know, but if that's what it takes for her to treat you like crap, then do it and let her deal with the fallout herself.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I explained that I am addicted to food, cannot stop overeating...BariatricPal App

You are having surgery for YOU, not for her. I'm sorry she's not bring supportive but she is not your problem, your health is.

That said, surgery will NOT solve the issues above. I hope you have a counselor to help you through the mental aspect of addiction and binging.

[GinaCampbell 434]

Yes, I am in counselling. And I am being successful in my 800 calorie pre op diet. I can follow a routine, I like structure (former military). I have a very problematic bowel condition and eating small and often will really help. I know that this sleeve is merely a tool. Back in my day, they wired your jaw shut! lol.

Now that I have started to break the cycle of overeating, carb addiction and needing huge portions of food, I have been concentrating on my emotional eating. Why I am hungry, when I am hungry. When I want to comfort eat, when I eat out of boredom, etc.

I am sad that my family have let me down. But I have to do what I think is best for me.

We were very close so I know this silence between us is sad for her too.

I feel utterly alone and abandoned. I can't believe that she is going to let me go into surgery without her even calling to say good luck.

I would never do that, not even to just a friend.

So it's just me and Jesus! And that's what is important!

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[Read2016 658]

Your a strong person, you got this... I'm pre-op and I tend to think if I want to go off track in the early days I'll remind myself I just had 80% of my stomach taken out because of all the times I made bad food choices... I feel if don't get this right after the surgery I got no more choices left...

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[GinaCampbell 434]

I feel like that too. I lost all my weight in 2006, then had a Tummy Tuck. I looked great. Then I gained it all back. So I have really beat myself up about abusing food. I live alone now so I can choose what food is in the house. That makes a big difference. Not having to buy food or cook food that is bad for me. I have every chance of success at losing the weight and maintaining the weight loss this time.

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[LisaMergs 2,854]

You don't know if she will let you go off to surgery without speaking to you...she may surprise you! I know this is going to sound harsh, and for that I apologize- but stop the negative self talk and pity. Now. You can not control her or anyone. The only thing you have control over is your mind, choices you make, and your attitude. Take control and start living YOUR life YOUR way! Good luck!

[pppgobbi 5]

My daughter was the same way! Had the sleeve. Best thing I ever did. She will get over it.

[GinaCampbell 434]

@@LisaMergs I wonder what posts you read that contained "negative self talk" and requesting "pity"?

I thought I had explained quite clearly that while I am disappointed in my daughter's decision to withdraw her support (and she has), I am making calm, decisive choices to make sure that this surgery is successful. That I accept her decision (I don't want to control anyone). But that I felt sad. And I do, I feel very sad as I miss hearing from her and my grandchildren, as I usually receive texts, photos and phone calls each day. Not to mention a whatsapp group conversation that starts and ends each day.

My having this surgery against my family's wishes IS me being in control of my own life.

I had to fight two years to get this op and I was gutted when I failed the pre op assessment. Thank goodness I finally scraped through! If I lost my surgery, then you really would have seen a self pitying post!

No need to apologise, I think you must have misunderstood.

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[Icantbelieveit 955]

You are very brave! Don't worry about your daughter, it will take awhile for her to get over, but it will happen.

Kudos to stand up and keep chugging along.

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[chrisredjeep 357]

Gina just do it. I am 63 and before my op I weighed 18 stone. I was unhappy tired and miserable with everyone. Now 10 months out I'm over 90 pounds down I can run after my granddaughter and I am happy. I have loose skin but so what , no one sees it ! I'm in Wales UK and had my op in Carmarthen. I wish you the very best of luck and I will be hoping that your daughter comes round to your point of view and that she is supportive. Please let us all know how you get on. Hugs coming to you.

[Alex Brecher 10,512]

@@GinaCampbell,

You are so right; it is hard to do this alone. I believe the only way you can do this alone is if you are completely sure that you are on the right path for you. Are you?

If you are sure, you don’t have much choice: you need to get the surgery.

If you’re not sure, you need to decide…but I don’t think your decision should be affected by your daughter’s disapproval. Of course you should listen if she has legitimate information to offer that can help you decide, but that’s it.

Like many of the others here, I have a feeling your daughter will come around sooner or later. It is hard to believe she would leave your life forever just because you got a medical procedure she disagreed with! And so much the better if it’s successful and you become more energetic and better able to play with your grand-child.

Good luck, and let us know how things go.

[Anna Nim 196]

Your daughter is scared.

But, the odds are in your favor FOR this surgery and the outcomes. Yeah, you might have extra skin, but better than the extra weight and the effects on your joints.

You are bedbound and a Grandmother-so I assume you have had many years of "trying" the conventional way. You already know the outcome, you are living it.
Ultimately, it is your body, you wake up and go to sleep with it, not her and as you have supported her in her life choices, she will have no real choice but to support yours.

I suspect when the surgery time is actually here, she will be there for you, she clearly loves you.

Good luck

[GinaCampbell 434]

Thank you all for your support! It means so much. Yes, this surgery is right for me. You are right! I am a Grandma and I do want to get out of bed and live, not just exist. I know that tomorrow, everything changes. All for the good. I am nervous, scared of the pain and very anxious but so pleased that God has let me have this surgery.

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[Read2016 658]

@ginacampbell... Your going to do great tomorrow... If being at the hospital alone concern you, why not inquire about hiring an aide to stay with you... Not sure what is the exact term, I think each hospital call them something different... I've heard it called companion, you usually pay out of pocket for it... I think it would be a great help to know you have someone right there for one on one assistance... Maybe give the hospital a call today to inquire about the cost... Good luck

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[Cape Crooner 589]

I feel like that too. I lost all my weight in 2006, then had a Tummy Tuck. I looked great. Then I gained it all back. So I have really beat myself up about abusing food. I live alone now so I can choose what food is in the house. That makes a big difference. Not having to buy food or cook food that is bad for me. I have every chance of success at losing the weight and maintaining the weight loss this time.

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Gina - This is all the proof you need that the time is NOW for a VSG. You went farther that most of us to "do it on your own" and you proved what ALL the experts know (as opposed to you lost in space daughter), severely obese people cannot do it on there own PERIOD.

I will also tell you that this journey will make you stronger and more self confident than you can imagine. It may not happen for a while, but one day your daughter will know she was wrong (even if she doesn't say it to you)!