Family totally against my surgery

[GinaCampbell 434]

I am being sleeved on May 31st. My daughter is totally against me having surgery. So much so that she is scarcely speaking to me now.

This has made me so sad. She says I am making a huge mistake and that I will have loads of loose skin and regret having the sleeve done.

Now I am really scared. I don't want to lose my daughter and grandchildren but I feel that this sleeve will be the best tool for helping me lose the weight. I am disabled and struggle to exercise.

I feel that I will regret it if I turn the surgery down.

It's awful doing this all alone.

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[Suga Renique Reborn 115]

You must live for yourself...your daughter now has her own life and family. Is she willing to take care of you if you DON'T have the surgery? I'm sure she means well, but if you have prayed to God about this and feel certain its necessary for you, she will come around. People try to manipulate you into doing what THEY want by different means (like not talking to you). If she loves you and is there for you before the surgery, she should be there for you after.

Don't give up - you may never get this opportunity. GOD has got you (you're never alone) so go ahead, SEIZE THE DAY!

[theantichick 2,204]

My response would be that I think I'd rather have loose skin than have it all filled with fat that's killing me.

It's hard when people we love are against our decisions. My parents don't want me to have the surgery, but I know it's out of concern for me, and that they'll support me even if they don't agree with it. I'm sorry that your daughter is taking out whatever she's thinking about this on you. But you have to do what you know to be right for you.

[Read2016 658]

Sounds like she is scared... Maybe suggest she learns more about it from watching some you tube videos... Clearly the health benefits outweigh loose skin... Anyone who would retaliate against your choice by taking your grandchildren from you is wrong, using children as a weapon is wrong and hurtful... Could it be she is selfish and worried you will need more care if you have any surgical complications?

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[GinaCampbell 434]

Because my daughter works fulltime and is a carer for my disabled grandson, I knew she wouldn't be available to offer any help after my surgery. So she knows I won't be a burden to her. I don't know what is disturbing her. I know that she has been doing some research because she has been telling me surgery horror stories and statistics.

I never expected her to pull back from me this way, just when I need her support the most.

Maybe the problem is that she is scared of losing me, who knows.

I just feel sad. And it is embarrassing at the hospital to have to say that I have no one.

They ask you not to bring your overnight bag on admission and to have your visitors bring it later during visiting hours. But I won't be having visitors so I have to take it with me on admission that morning.

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[Read2016 658]

@@GinaCampbell I don't plan to have anyone with me at the hospital either... Whoever I need will be a phone call away... Your going to do great, your daughter's reaction to this is wrong. I'm sure once your out of surgery and doing great she will come around... All the best!

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[NeedaBreak4Me 1,755]

@@GinaCampbell

Im going to give you a virtual hug. *big squishy hug*

Im sorry you are being treated like this by your daughter.. you deserve love, support and understanding.

You should be proud that you have made the choice to change your life, admitting that you have a weight problem and actually doing something about it!!

It takes a lot of courage to make such a drastic change.... physiologically, psychologically and physically.

My brother actually said to me once i did it... quote.. "girl, you've got some balls to cut off your stomach.... good for you for taking control of your life, at least you are not sitting around stuffing your face sulking about it"

When he said that it made me realise.. that he is right..... i could sit here sulking, stuffing my face feeling sorry for myself... or take action and make that change.

Basically what i am trying to say is good for you for taking action.... and we got ourselves to thus weight alone...and we will lose it alone....

If your daughter is not speaking to you, she might have her own reasons, she might be scared or maybe she is fearful of doctors because of her son... who knows.

Perhaps sit her down and have a frank discussion with her, tell her what you have told us... and explain that the journey is already stressful without her adding further stress by using emotional manipulation.

If all else fails.... i am happy to volunteer to be your WLS daughter

Edited May 28, 2016 by AussieGirl81

[Cape Crooner 589]

Why does your daughter want you to stay obese and die decades early? That's the real question...

Is your daughter obese too?

[GinaCampbell 434]

My daughter thinks that I have not given conventional dieting enough of a chance. She feels that I could lose weight normally if I tried harder. I explained that I am addicted to food, cannot stop overeating and that my disability prevents me from exercising. I now am 95% bedbound. She just sees this surgery as a shortcut to weightloss. Also she feels that after surgery that I will simply overeat again so it won't be successful.

No, she is not obese.

Thank you all for being so supportive, it really helps.

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[Read2016 658]

Will the surgery help you eliminate you being bed bound? If so, wouldn't she want to support anything in the world that would stop you from being bed ridden...I'm thinking if you weight comes off, you can have therapy to build your strength and hopefully gain mobility... I would think being bed bound also leads to overeating... I can only see good things ahead for you, we all deserve a chance to live life to the fullest.

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[NeedaBreak4Me 1,755]

Let me tell you... you can't overeat early out ... cause you a) won't want to or b ) you will puke or c ) you will feel really uncomfortable

To be honest being 95% bed bound is not living... i would risk it all to be able to do the things that i once did...

Go for it... with or without her.... keep us posted on how you go.

When is your surgery?

Edited May 28, 2016 by AussieGirl81

[GinaCampbell 434]

I think it will help me be more mobile. I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome (my daughter doesn't believe in those syndromes either) so moving around is both painful and exhausting. I basically am 100 lbs overweight so it can only help me in my opinion.

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My surgery is on 31st of May.

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[NeedaBreak4Me 1,755]

Im sorry to say.. but your daughter sounds very judgemental from what you have told us...

I think it will be the best decision of your life... you will be healthier and therefore happier.

I was sleeved 5 weeks ago... and i was saying yesterday that ive noticed my knees no longer hurt and previously i used to get major psycho mood swings when i ovulate... and i noticed this month i had nothing.... and for that i am so grateful for this surgery... its amazing the impact that excess weight has on the body..

I have been literally at each end of the scale.... and as my weight increased so did my physical and emotional issues.

Wishing you all the best on the 31st... keep us posted on how you go... prayers being sent your way

Edited May 28, 2016 by AussieGirl81

[libby43 136]

People that don't have weight problems tend to feel this way. They don't understand the pain we go through day after day. My daughter had the same problem with my surgery but came around and so will your daughter. Don't look for anyone to understand or approve . This is your body and your pain. Take control of you!!! Good luck and keep us updated.

[eclecticwingtips 130]

You are likely to end up with excess skin no matter how you lose the weight. As for regretting it well you may, but you dont really know. From what ive read though not many regret it

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