OMG, How Crazy Am I????

[Chickie 15]

I still try to shop in the plus section, what am I thinking??

I did that for so long. I stopped it when I started getting dirty looks from the ladies who really did have to shop in the plus sizes!

Even now, I take the 10, 8 and the 6 (our 6 is like a US 2 or 0, I think) in to the change room with me. And it's the 6 fits, or is too big.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

I am so glad that I am not the only one who doesn't know who they are! I still try to shop in the plus section, what am I thinking?? I still see 300 plus when I look in the mirror, and I hate it. I am constantly tearing myself down and I am so scared I will never look better if I realize I am a skinnier girl. I feel like I am never going to be happy with me. I do have good days, but almost everyday I pick up my clothes and say "that won't fit" but guess what the size 12s do. I don't know why I always think fat....blah!

I know what you mean about shopping in the plus section. I feel that fat and it seems appropriate. But I also wonder what sales people are thinking when *I* go to the normal size clothes. I imagine them laughing and thinking that fat girl really thinks she's going to fit her big butt in this size?? HA!

[certifiedcoder 11]

I love that too. I still go for the XL, when in fact the M is what I need! After reading all the posts yesterday about catching a glimps of yourselves in the store window, I had a chuckle last night. I was at the gym doing upper body work and hit the mirror just right that I could see my self from behind...looking forward. I was like omg...... that is what other people see when they look at me.. Not too shabby I must say, of course without the magnifying glass I always examine myself with. LOL. Those squats are paying off! Thanks so much for all the words of support.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

I went to lunch with Kansas Sooner today, we are going to Mexicali tomorrow for her fill.

I made a decision, I am going to post a photo here, on this thread. It might not stay up long but I'm going to post it here. I need to buy the jigger thingy to upload photos from my camera to my computer again since I lost the old one. But I am asking for honest opinions.

It's weird, I don't trust anyone in real time to tell me the truth but I trust you guys. But I'm going to take the plunge and post a photo.

Hopefully Monday I can do this.

I need to know from my fellow fatties how much more I need to lose. I'm thinking 14 more pounds and then maybe 10 more (I don't know, I'll have to look at things again once my BMI is 25) + a Tummy Tuck and boob job. I'm going by BMI alone, if I was going by my eyes I'd say AT LEAST 100lbs. Doing the math tells me that isn't possible. So I need help here and I need the most honest opinions no matter how much it hurts to hear (read?).

Thx.

[Chickie 15]

I look forward to "seeing" you Wasa!

[dezbus1 0]

I had that who is that moment last weekend, we went to a baseball game and realized that I was not hanging out the seat, then went to the movies and went to the restroom and there was this strange women staring at me in the mirror, it was me, I was wow, that is me. then it really hit me yesterday, I seen a picture that was taken 3 years ago, at my heaviest 272, I am now 164. I want to drop another 20 lbs, my bmi will then be right about 24.

Went to the store yesterday wanted a new blouse, where did I go? yep the plus size, some habits are harder to break. lol

Anyway, I was happy to see this thread, I have been lurking around, I even found a used copy of the book Passing for Thin, about half way through it. Who knew that losing weight would cause other problems, not so much health but emotional, relationships and other untold stories.

[beversman 0]

sorry, I HAD to laugh about the taking in XL, L, M sizes into the dressing room!! HAHA

I do the SAME damn thing.

i also still find myself heading straight to the Plus Size section.

I also feel the store clerks are looking at me wondering why "I" am in the "normal" size section of the store.

Wow, it is good to know Im not alone. I cringe every time someone says, "You don't need to lose anymore weight!" I still CANT even begin to take a compliment.

One thing that has allowed me to see a slight difference... was when i saw my collarbones. Of ALL THINGs... my collar bones made me finally feel that I was losing a little wieght...

Stupid FAT brain... haha... catch up all ready!

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Wow, it is good to know Im not alone. I cringe every time someone says, "You don't need to lose anymore weight!" I still CANT even begin to take a compliment.

One thing that has allowed me to see a slight difference... was when i saw my collarbones. Of ALL THINGs... my collar bones made me finally feel that I was losing a little wieght...

I was in Mexico last Saturday and I was talking to my doc. I was wearing a tight tank top with my usual baggy shirt over it. I thought I was making progress with the tight tank top. My doc was politely suggesting that I wear more "girl" like clothes instead of baggy clothes (let's face it, baggy clothes act as a tent). I had to laugh because it dawned on me the irony of my bariatric surgeon giving me fashion tips. HA!

For you it was your collar bone, for me it was when I suddenly realized that my boobs and stomach are no longer a single entity. One big round circle of horror. Now I have boobs and a much smaller stomach, a stomach that will be helped with another 15 pounds and a Tummy Tuck.< /p>

[Dibaby 0]

Thats so funny that you guys brought up the collar bone. I just had that surprise yesterday! Yep..I have collarbones! I was just standing there gazing in there mirror. Poking the indents..LOLLL

I do this thing where I find myself moving out of the way for people when I really don't have to anymore. They can get by just fine..LOL. I still think my ass is hanging out in the way...hehe

I can't fricken weight to get out of the plus sizes though..Damn tummy is keeping me there. I dunno why my waist isn't shrinking as fast as the rest of me. I'm blaming it on childbirth.

[NanaRenan 0]

For you it was your collar bone, for me it was when I suddenly realized that my boobs and stomach are no longer a single entity. One big round circle of horror. Now I have boobs and a much smaller stomach, a stomach that will be helped with another 15 pounds and a Tummy Tuck.< /div>

WasA, you're my hero, my brave leader -- I will diligently follow in your footsteps.....

I long for that day!

[beversman 0]

nana - just stick with it girl... it will come sooner than you might think. :-) but as you can tell by this thread... the MIND is what takes the most work to change.

even when our bodies ARE changing... the mind can refuse to see it.

I read an earlier comment about "now I know how annorexics feel" --- totally true, i never realized how much my mind could alter the way I "see myself" BUT reality and what I see in the mirror are TWO totally different things!!

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

I read an earlier comment about "now I know how annorexics feel" --- totally true, i never realized how much my mind could alter the way I "see myself" BUT reality and what I see in the mirror are TWO totally different things!!

Isn't it an odd feeling? Intellectually you KNOW what you are seeing with your own two eyes is not possible. Yet your eyes keep fighting with your brain because they do see it.

It's just bizarre.

[Kat817 19]

I was a nervous wreck posting my pics the other day. I kept waiting for the responses to say things about not believing I had lost 100 pounds, because there didn't seem to be that big of a change. They didn't come! I got compliments!! Now I expected politeness, not rude comments like you might get on the street---but still cringed when I hit the post button!!!

My wildest moment or comment come the other day, at a motorcycle rally---one of the vendors had all the leather halters, and this sales lady was talking to my normally built friend and I, and she said to her "You could wear this style, but the plunging halter would look awesome on you" as she held it up to me. Now ladies I am closer to 50 than 40, and leather halters are NOT in my future---but these salespeople have always just pretended I was invisible! Now they try to sell me things! I do have leather chaps we ride in, and when I first got mine, I balked, and told my husband I would look like I was wearing the whole damn cow. I had cinched them to the tightest lace in the back, and was on the last hole in the belt to hold them up, but there was not much hope for the thighs...so I bought new ones. My old chaps were XXL my new ones Medium. Another woman was there being fitted for new chaps as well, and she was very attractively built, but the medium would not zip around her thighs...mine did! I could not quit smiling. I also could not quit trying to buy XXL rally shirts!!! DH and I would laugh it off, but it is kind of disconcerting, to know one thing, but to feel another....

The other time I was given a wake up was when I went to pick up my DD, she was at the gym, and I was to take her DD to her. She was finishing up with her personal trainer, and she told him, if he wanted to see muscle tone, he should see my legs. So he I am sure thought 'potential client' and humored her, and popped me on a machine....I shocked them all, he told my DD she would be working her ass off til she was 30 to equal it! I want my DD to be toned, but I loved the feeling of this fat woman showing him, I did have muscle under the flab, and said this to my DD. She got teary and told me "Mom you are not a fat lady anymore, don't keep putting yourself down." So that is it, I am doing my best.

If my DH and my DD don't see me as fat, then screw that mirror!!!

Hang in there girls!!! I was by the way one of the skinny ones who got fat and was shocked by a mirror into the fat reality---so know it WILL come in time! It definitely finally sunk in I was a fat woman, so hold hope that eventually I will see a normal woman in myself!

Kat

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

I was a nervous wreck posting my pics the other day. I kept waiting for the responses to say things about not believing I had lost 100 pounds, because there didn't seem to be that big of a change. They didn't come! I got compliments!! Now I expected politeness, not rude comments like you might get on the street---but still cringed when I hit the post button!!!

HA! I have to laugh because I was going to do the same thing on Monday. I bought the little thingerjigger to upload them to my computer since I lost the last one. I looked at those photos and thought, "Noooooooooo, I don't think so!" I'm not posting heifer photos on a public internet site.

So I weenied out and sent them to Wendell. Suffice it to say, he's such a gentleman. LOL

[wendy645 1]

Awww I totally wanted to see your beautiful self, WasA!

I'm kind giong through this in a backwards fashion. I've gone through eating disorders so I already know my self-perception is messed up. I can look at someone who's 100 lbs or more over my weight and see my exact self, but when I look in the mirror, while I obviously see a blob, I'm not THAT bad... at least not in clothes lol... but then I realize my BMI is 45, and it shocks me... I am THAT big? I mean I knew I was big but THAT big? No wonder I see myself the same as the person who is 100 lbs heavier than me!

I can't even begin to describe how it would feel to walk to the plus-size section and realize that nothing will fit because it's too big, not because it's too small. *wipes tear*